A series of feministic ficlets

I feel feministic, so I'm writing a few feministic one-shots put into one story. Not politically, grammatically or periodically correct. Just for fun, a few-disagreements-between Alanna, Daine, Kel, Thayet and some other certain randoms. Not in chronological order. Wyldon, Jon and random others get pissed off. And everyone's really out of character. But it's my fic, so live with it.

I don't own anyone. And I'd like to ask, how do you "own" a character anyway?

And also Lan, Alanna isn't legendary, just overrated.

Chapter one: New training master and Wyldon's ass gets kicked

"Lord Wyldon," King Jonathan addressed, "I'd like to introduce Lord Raoul of Goldenlake and Alanna the Lioness of Pirate's Swoop and Olau. Alanna, Raoul, this is our new training master for the squires and pages, Lord Wyldon of Cavall."

Wyldon shook hands with Raoul, and then turned to Alanna. "Ah. You must be the Lady Knight I hear so much about. Alanna the Lioness." There was a slight sneer in his voice as he said this, and Alanna knew she wasn't imagining it when Raoul stiffened slightly and Jon cleared his throat softly.

"Do you have a problem with that?" Alanna wanted to know, slightly hostile.

"I suppose not," Wyldon said, holding himself in the way people do when they think they're important, "I've nothing to express about it, in any case."

"I'm intrigued. What are you thinking?" Alanna asked.

"Not meaning any disrespect, Lady Knight," this part he definitely said with a sneer, "I just didn't think women could fight. Up till now, anyway."

Okay, Alanna decided, he's really up himself. "What do you think now?"

"I've never seen you in battle, so I can't say. But I have to say I won't trust you with my life."

"That's okay, vice versa," she realized that she seriously disliked this man. "As for seeing me in battle...do you dare to try me out?"

"Lioness..." Jon warned softly. Not ten minutes into a conversation and Alanna was already picking a fight with Wyldon. He'd foreseen that this would happen, but Wyldon really was the best person for the job.

"Yes, your majesty?" She turned to face him with raised eyebrows and mock-respect, and he realized that she was not changing her mind.

Raoul hid a grin behind his hand. Alanna and Jon were doing their classic "knight-master-and-squire" routine again.

Jon shot Alanna a warning glance, which she ignored, and continued to glare at Wyldon.

"I'd love to," he replied finally, if stiffly (A/N I just realized he's stiff so I'll have to just put it in here).

"Here and now?"

"Fine by me."

"Practice swords, first one to draw blood or disarm opponent." She set the rules, and he nodded to them.

"Alanna!" Jon gave up any pretense of a whisper. He was yelling at her now.

"What?" she yelled back, even as she began stretching.

"You do not pick fights with everyone who opposes you. Remember when you said that if you killed everyone who was stupid, you wouldn't have time to sleep? Well, don't go and challenge everyone opposing you either."

Wyldon watched this all with mild amusement. (a/n I know this is OOC, live with it, he's younger back then anyway. they're all younger. So THERE) Alanna turned back to him, ignoring Jon's words. Kicking Wyldon's ugly ass and rubbing it in his uglier face was worth any reprimand Jon might give afterwards. As long as he doesn't mention restraint. She really hates that word.

They both picked up swords and began circling each other. Alanna was filled with anticipation. She could be very precise with her sword when she needed to-and she intended to be. As Wyldon lunged at her, she tilted her sword upwards, almost bored, and it chopped off half of his hair. He growled in outrage as her sword swung around to layer the other half of his hair. Cool. Lord Wyldon now has a new haircut. It suits him better than the old one anyway.

(This is OOC, god damn live with it)

Then, she slid her sword up close to his chest, and it took off all the buttons on his shirt. With a slight spin of her sword, she sent the buttons flying into the air in an organized queue and held her palm out as they fell from the sky and landed in her hand. "Oops," she told him, fake concern dripping from her voice, "we might want to do these up tighter." (Can anyone tell me which tv show I got this from?)

"Alanna!" Jon was pissed. This was getting out of hand. Intent on stopping Alanna, Jon shot a bolt of blue lightning out of his hands, aimed at the Lioness but only to bind.

Alanna barely had to turn around to wield a purple shield of Gift and block Jon's attack. This, however, gave Wyldon time to get away.

Wyldon stumbled. "I'm not feeling my best today," he announced clumsily and escaped the courtyard.

"Spoilsport," Alanna told Jon, making her way back towards him, "I was just starting to have fun."

Jon was almost shimmering with anger, but Alanna didn't notice and walked straight off, pissed at him for ruining her fun.

END OF CHAPTER

Sorry bout this being so spaz.