Author's Apology: All right. I've gone Alternate/Universe before, but this is so A/U that it makes me think it's totally ridiculous, but, come on, I thrive on this kind of subject. I love writing about characters who should never be together/ be in the same room… with each other, having a meal. And Incredibles calls for it! I mean, Helen and Bob are like your nice next-door-neighbors who watch your kids, make homemade meatloaf (Tony loaf?), and have family game night. Syndrome and Mirage are like, the anti-Parr: all yuppie/hippie, with their volcano and their tons of money and gadgets and selfish natures. So I have to write this. And I'd like to say it could never happen, and that it's total BS, but I believe in it! So without further adieu—

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner.

"Bob," Helen Parr said waringly. "You need to get up and get your laundry—how many times do I have to tell you I'm not going to iron your suit any more, it's not enough that I have to cook dinner, clean the kids' rooms—"

"Honey, hush," replied her husband, not looking away from the television, his grey eyes fixated on the news.

Helen's expression darkened; she frowned sullenly: "Don't tell me you just told me to hush—"

"Helen! Stop talking for half a second and look at this!" Bob blurted, and motioned her over, never taking his eyes away from the news.

"I don't see what the—oh."

On the screen was a young man with bright red shocks of hair. His stunning blue gaze seemed to grind through the television. He looked little-boyish and almost jovial. "I thought it was time for me to publicly apologize for all the damage I've done," he said, his voice oddly animated. "At that time, I was criminally insane—"

"You think so?"

"Sh!"

--"and if anyone was harmed it wasn't on purpose. Syndrome, heh, I, wasn't supposed to spread hate! So if you'll accept my apologies, I'd be very grateful. I'm sorry, American people. I'm sorry, Chicago. I'm sorry. And Mr. Incredible—" the redhead stared straight ahead.

Bob jumped a little.

"Please accept my sorries to you and yours."

:"Well, there you have it, folks. Could this be the end to the strange Incredibles versus Buddy Pine case? Is this enough to pay for all of the damages?"

Click.

"Sorries? That's not even a word," Helen muttered. "Bob, how is he doing this? First criminally insane, now this?"

Bob shrugged. "Everyone loves public apologies. And Buddy was a pretty scary little child—I read in the Times that he's on strict medication now, I mean, he was pretty sick in the head."

"What are you saying? Are you forgiving him?"

"No! Christ, no!" Bob pounded his fist into his hand. "I guess I'm saying… Agent Dicker's probably gonna get on us about this. I mean, a super villain apologizing!? These are certainly the days."

"Just forget it, Bob. What can we do?"

Robert Parr sighed. "Isn't it obvious? We have to step up. We can't look like old fogies, or look rude. We're the heroes."

"Bob. I can't believe you! First, you spent all of your time obsessing over his trial, and you were so moody when he wasn't convicted and now?" Helen smoothed her husband's hair gently and smiled. "Just let it go. Let him go. So justice didn't prevail this time. So what?"

"So, I owe this kid, Helen, and you know it!" Bob stood up and began to pace the room. "I wasn't going to go this far, but he's so damned on the ball. My god, public apologies are more in then hero work!"

"Well, make one to him, then! He doesn't deserve much more than that!"

"Helen, I made a super villain! Me! If I would've just listened to the poor kid, maybe he wouldn't still be running around in a super suit and trying to make the world obey him! Maybe no one would have died, then!"

Helen sat down quietly and rubbed her temples slowly. "You can't blame yourself, we've been through this."

"I know we've been through it, Helen, and you know it was my fault and I know it, and that miserable, bitter Buddy Pine knows it, too. Let's just do something nice for him and get over it."

"Oh no," Helen shook her head, standing up. "This is your project, Bob. Yours. Not mine!"

"Come on, we're in this together!"

"I didn't break him!"

"You sucker punched his galpal. That was kind of a blow."

Helen rolled her eyes. "She deserved it."

Bob was about to defend the mentioned woman, but decided it was against his better judgment. "Look, just help me! Give me an idea, you're good at that!"

"What do you want me to do? Invite him to dinner?"