Gamzee: Sing about a miracle
On one random day in Alternia, Gamzee was sitting in his room and doing not much of anything; he just finished aslime pie and now relaxed in his comfy bed. He let his mind wander into some sort of nothingness. Inane miracles and ideas floated around as if they were orbiting his mind. He could feel his head spinning round and round as the miracles floated round; images of Faygo (of course), clowns, horns, double rainbows, unicycles, and Karkat popped up in all of their glory.
Gamzee stopped himself and stoop up once the last miracle appeared. "Karkat is a miracle?" he slurred in surprise. This had not occured to him before; after all, Karkat was his best friend ever, but his existence did not seem to be miraculous in any way. It seemed pretty ordinary actually. However, Gamzee trusted his own judgment, so Karkat must be a miracle. "This makes so much sense that I can not grasp it at all, brother," he concluded, satisfied with himself for knowing this.
Of course, he had to share this wonderful news with Karkat himself, so he ran as fast as he could to Karkat's room. Such information couldn't be captured in Pesterchum. It was too shocking. Once he arrived at Karkat's place, he quickly opened the door to find Karkat sitting on his computer and pestering someone; he walked slowly towards his friend and tapped him on the shoulder.
"What do you fucking want?" he asked while he turned to Gamzee.
Gamzee smiled half-lazily and replied: "Hey best friend. I have something to tell you. It's really important."
"Give me a fucking second and then tell me," he noted while wrapping up his conversation. Once he finished, he spun his chair around and looked at Gamzee's sleepy face directly. "Now tell me what this so-called important thing is," he grimaced while waiting for Gamzee's "urgent" news.
Gamzee -while smiling- pulled his cranky friend out of his chair and started to share the news.
"Wonder of wonders, miracles of miracles!" he sang sloppily while walking around the room and dragging Karkat along, "God took Daniel up one again, stood by his side and -miracle of miracles- walked him through the lion's den. Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, I was afraid that God would frown, but like he did so long ago, at Jericho, God just made a wall fall down!" he continued gleefully. Karkat, however, was not amused by Gamzee's news so far.
"Gamzee, are you fucking insane? Did you just eat a slime pie or something? What is the point of this? Is this about some religion or something stupid like that?" he screamed while grating his teeth and holding his urge toslap Gamzee here and now. He couldn't fufill that urge even if he couldn't hold it in though; Gamzee's grip on his hands was too tight. Gamzee smiled and shushed Karkat after his fit.
"Just listen, bro. I'm not done yet," he calmly noted. "If you say so, Gamzee," Karkat sighed while Gamzee continued. "When Moses softened the Pharaoh's heart, that was a miracle. When God made the waters of the Red Sea part, that was a miracle too! But all of God's miracles large and small...the most miraculous one of all is that out of a worthless lump of clay, God has made a man today," Gamzee sang while continuing to walk around and clutch Karkat's hands tightly. Karkat shook his head disdainfully. Gamzee ignored this action, however, and continued to indulge in song and dance. "Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, God took a clown by the hand, turned him around, and -miracle of miracles!- led him to the promised land!" he paused only to catch a breath before resuming his song, "When David slew Goliath -YES!- that was a miracle. When God gave us matter in the wilderness, that was a miracle too, but of all God's miracles large and small, the most miraculous one of all...," he sang while turning his attention towards a disdainful Karkat. Slowly he sang the last few lines of the musical message: "...is one that I thought could never be: God has given you to me." After sharing his message, Gamzee let go of Karkat's hands and nodded.
Karkat facepalmed and asked Gamzee bitterly, "Did you just hit on me, in fucking song no less? What the fuck?"
Gamzee shook his head no and explained "No, my friend. You are a motherfucking miracle and I had to remind you of this. I just figured this all out today."
Karkat was still not amused; he angrily asked "Then what was with all of those lines with the fucking 'God' guy? Who the hell was he?"
"I have no idea. I just know that you are a motherfucking miracle, bro," Gamzee replied with a half-hearted smile on his face.
Karkat muttered something to himself, and then shouted to Gamzee: "This is stupid. Get the fuck out." So, Gamzee did just as his miraculous friend told him to do and exited Karkat's room right away.
"I'm sure he'll realize that he is a motherfucking miracle someday," Gamzee thought to himself while walking back home.
((Author's Note: OK, just so you know, this was pure crack. This started off as a conversation about Gamzee singing the song "Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles" from Fiddler of the Roof and it ended up turning into this. I even stayed up late to write it. xD Anyway, I hope you enjoyed (?) it. (Also, this "story", if it existed in canon, would be in the Hivebent arc (aka Act 5, part 1). Think when the trolls were still in teams and everything)
Motel the Tailor and the song "Wonder of wonders" is from Fiddler on the Roof.
Gamzee and Karkat belong to Homestuck (of course). They are not from Fiddler; they wouldn't even fit in at all!))