Title: Taboo

Author: Forbiddentransmutations

Pairing: None, really.

Summary: Basically, FMA AU where Al falls victim to the same disease as his mother and Ed attempts to bring Al back via human transmutation. It is based on the original anime so I think you can kinda guess what happens next.

Rating: We'll just give it an M for gore in upcoming chapters.

Notes: This is inspired by a dream I had of the brothers, which affected me greatly. I'm not the best writer but I hope you guys find joy in reading this. I have the next chapter written up and it shall be published soon enough! I know I tend to drag on the story, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

No one knew Alphonse was suffering the same disease their mother had. No one knew that the week before the Elric brothers were to bring their mother back from the dead that Alphonse would meet the same fate. No one knew how much his older brother Edward cried about it. First his mother, now his brother, it seemed as though the world just wanted him to be alone.

Winry Rockbell sat beside him, holding onto her knees as they watched the slow flowing river from the bank. Ed was curled up in a foetal position, wiping away his tears. He had never cried so much in his life, not even when his mother, Trisha, died. It must have finally struck him. He couldn't live without a mother, but at least he had his brother's smiling face by his side. Now, he had nothing. He had no smiling brother and no smiling mother. All seemed empty in the world.

"It's going to be alright, Edward," his friend reassured him, placing a hand on his back, rubbing it up and down. Their backs against the setting sun, it was the only source of decreasing heat in the area. The river ran quietly and smoothly, which seemed to be the only properly flowing thing in the world right now. Ed felt the girl's warm touch against his back. It wasn't that part of his body that needed comforting. He needed a hug, and a pat on the back hardly felt like comfort.
"What am I going to do?" Edward whimpered, afraid to show his tear-stained, red face. Winry fell silent. She moved her hand away from him, unable to think of what to say. She couldn't say anything really. She couldn't say anything to make the pain go away. And she felt Edward knew that fact. Controlling his sobbing, Edward quietened down. There was not much noise- only the tweets of the evening birds and the water splashing against the banks calmly. The young girl kept her eyes fixed on the crying boy then averted her attention to the river. She hoped that at least would bring some serenity and peace.

"I don't know, Edward," She suddenly spoke, her voice hoarse yet gentle. She had been crying too, but hardly as much as her friend. Alphonse was a close friend too; the trio were the happiest group of friends anyone in the town had seen. Suddenly, Edward's breathing began to quicken. He had lost control. He pulled his face away from his wrapped arms, bursting into hysterics. Frantically, he turned to his side and clung to Winry, who moved her body so they were both a little more comfortable. She didn't exactly know how to accept this cry for help, but she simply reacted by wrapping her arms around him and pulling him closer, allowing him to weep into her chest.

Through muffled, sniffling sobs Edward cried, "I don't know what to do without either of them."
Tears started to swell in Winry's eyes. She could hardly bear seeing her friend in so much pain. She tightened her grip on him, sniffling back her tears. After the outburst he finally calmed down, though didn't even consider pulling away. "I'm sorry..." He apologized suddenly. This made Winry sniffle and look down a little. "Why are you sorry?"

"For making you cry. I don't want you to cry too."

"It's fine. I don't mind crying for you, Edward. Sometimes you just need to, and there's nothing wrong with that. That's what Granny always told me," She replied shakily. Although Edward had just been crying and feeling the world stood still, the river continued to flow slowly.

The birds continued to chirp and tweet, and the sun continued to set. The world wasn't going to stop for one little crying boy, no matter how much he did.
The duo barely noticed how cold it was once the sun had set, and it was Granny Pinako who had to go out with a lamp and collect them. On the journey home, they passed Edward's house, where he grabbed some spare clothes and items dear to him. He was the only one who lived in the house left, and he had no idea what to do with it. Once they got back to the Rockbell residence, Granny began to cook her famous stew. After all the crying, Edward felt exhausted and hungry. He just wanted to eat and then go rest. They ate in almost silence; the only thing heard from one another was the slurping of the broth and the sip of the drinks. Granny knew not to intrude on Edward's thoughts, so she never brought it up. She knew that he was suffering enough, he was just like Winry when her parents died. That was something the children had in common: they were both orphaned. Well, Edward had his father, but he hadn't shown his face since he was three, so he practically lost all faith in him.

The blond haired boy slept on the couch that night, in the room full of automail and appliances. You could hardly call it sleeping; he spent the entire night lost in thought. He remembered what life was like before his family had slipped from him. He remembered how his mother would bake the most delicious apple pies and place them out on the windowsill to cool off. He remembered when him and Al would play tag and run through the lake on the hot summer's day with Winry. He remembered all their fights, even they seemed to be a fond memory now. He refrained from breaking down into tears thinking about it, but his heart was certainly heavy. It took until early morning for him to fall asleep, and Granny and Winry must have picked up on that fact, because he hardly budged when they tried to wake him. They decided to leave him for the time being, and tend to breakfast. He'd wake up eventually.

-
The boy awoke early afternoon, hair a mess and eyes droopy. He was lucky he had rather short hair. Moping around in his dirty clothes, he forgot to tend to himself. The burden of his family's death weighed on him. Al had only been gone for a week, and today was the day the two had decided to revive their mother. They had gotten back from training with their alchemy teacher, Izumi not 2 weeks ago, and the woman blamed herself for Al's death. She kept stressing it was her fault for pushing the two too hard, despite the reassurance that that was far from the truth. It was never her to dwell on such things, but she had shown a softer side of herself recently that Ed found difficult to handle.

Winry was learning some important techniques from her grandmother about engineering the automail, and Ed had the displeasure on stumbling in when the girl was over the desk screaming with frustration about the difficulty of the work. At least she was lively that day. He was the exact opposite. He had skipped two meals from his sleeping pattern, and he was hardly even hungry. Deciding the two were too busy for him, he went upstairs to read up on some books.

Most of Winry's library consisted of medical books but he didn't mind. He had read enough alchemy books in the past few years and he did need to know a little about medical practices if he was going to attempt a human transmutation. The ratio to medical books he read to alchemy books was quite large. Still, he had to read up on a few things in case something went wrong. Then again, if he doubted succession, he shouldn't be attempting the taboo. But he was desperate. If all things pulled off, Edward would end up performing two transmutations: One on his brother and one on his mother. He planned to bring Al back and then use his alchemy combined to bring back their mother.

That night was a cold and cloudy night; a storm was approaching. Edward explained to Pinako that he wanted to spend the night at his own home, much to her dismay. Winry stood by her dog, Den, and waved the boy a goodbye. "We'll be here all night if you get lonely," she gave her sweet smile, Granny puffing her pipe. She shook her head in disbelief. "Just don't do anything stupid," she snapped, Edward waving it off as he set off back to his home. The sun had just set, though it was hardly noticeable with the clouds, and he headed down to his house, which was still unlocked. The home was cold, dark and unoccupied. It felt as though no one had lived here for years.

The rain started to sprinkle as Ed lit his lamp and made his way around the house, grabbing the necessary ingredients. "Water, 35 litres; Carbon, 20kg; Ammonia, 4ls; Lime 1.5 kg; Phosperus, 800g; Salt, 250 g. Salt Pieter, 100;. Sulphur, 80g; Fluorine, 7.5g; Iron, 5g; Silicon, 3g," Edward recited the elements he needed, going into the kitchen and his own cupboard to collect them. Shoving it all into his bag and carrying the water, he walked out in the light rain, heading over to the family's barn.

Grabbing the tub he used to bathe in as a child, he poured and mixed all the ingredients in, before pushing it off to the side. He needed to draw out the transmutation circle before he continued. His head was aching, and it was apparent he wasn't thinking clearly. He only had one goal and that was to revive his brother. He hadn't been gone long, so it seemed simple enough. He had his doubts but he ignored the nagging feelings they brought. He was going to get his family back.