Watashi Mo Yojinbo Da! (I'm a Bodyguard Too!)

A Slayers/Dragonball Z crossover by LadyRivka

A/N: Thanks to Neko-chan (authoress of "Shin Wars") for giving me the idea for this one. ^^ Yep, she knows what I'm talking about… And don't complain about how short this is, it's a one-shot. -Rivka

Lina Inverse and her bodyguard, Gourry, who she considered to have the "brains of a jellyfish", were walking along the road, just finishing an epic battle. Famished from using all of their black magic, they were looking for a place to stuff their faces and get away from that annoying Zelgadiss.

"You know, I feel like some fried chicken," said Lina, sighing wistfully.

"What do you mean by that? Do you feel all burnt and crispy?" Gourry smiled a big stupid smile.

"NO, you jellyfish-brain, I meant TO EAT! I'd like some FRIED CHICKEN TO EAT!" Lina tucked her arms behind her head, embarrassed. "Sheesh, for a guy who can operate the Hikari –no Ken [Sword of Light], you're pretty dense."

They kept walking, Lina still angry, both of them still famished, until they saw two faint silhouettes in the distance- one that looked to be about five feet tall, another one about nine feet tall.

"Gourry, look! Might they be another pair of powerful practitioners of the magic arts?"

"I doubt it."

"But what if they are! Gourry-san, I'm scared…" She clung to his knees, frantic, until she realized what she was doing. "Jeez, I'm so pathetic. Holding onto a dimwit like you when I can well take care of myself…"

Just then, the pair came forward. The shorter fellow, with light purple skin, elfin ears, and a pristine white mohawk, said, "Do you know of a book called the Claire Bible? I have been looking for it for quite some time, as I am interested in various forms of magic."

"Gourry," whispered Lina, "I told you these guys were trouble. They're looking for the Claire Bible as we are."

"Uh-huh." Gourry just nodded.

"You should know of it, Miss Lina Inverse," said the short fellow with the mohawk.

"How…how did you know my name?" The fiery redhead just stood there, stunned.

"Let's say I just know. And this is your bodyguard, Gourry?"

"Y-yes," stuttered the vapid blond swordsman.

"Well, then, I suppose we have a lot in common. My name is 'Shin, by the way, and the seemingly scowling fellow behind me is my bodyguard, Kibito."

"Nice to meet you." Gourry shook Kibito's hand, and noticed an unusual energy emanating from him.

Kibito just grinned as best he could.

Now, Kaiooshin-sama, would you take the girl with you someplace? I believe Gourry and I have some private matters to discuss, Kibito communicated telepathically.

I hope they're not too private, grinned Kaiooshin. Else I may have to…

No, no, it's not like that, sir. Bodyguard business. I sense some things in him that he's afraid to say…

Such as?

He likes the girl. I don't know how he puts up with her constant cajoling and harassing, but he likes her. Deep in his soul, he does. So in a sense, they're like us, although they haven't realized it yet.

Ah, I see. Well, maybe I can distract the girl for a while. Kaiooshin smirked, his eyes narrowing.

"Miss Lina, would you care for a chicken dinner?" asked 'Shin.

"I'd LOVE it! Are you kidding?"

"Where are there any good chicken places around here?"

"Well, there's the Nikutori-shakku up the road…they're usually fairly good priced. And delicious!" Lina winked and smiled.

"Well, I think I know where that is…I passed it on the way here. So, shall we go then?"

"OF COURSE!" Lina danced around 'Shin, excited. 'Shin grabbed Lina's hand, whispered something like "Kai-Kai", and they found themselves smack dab in the middle of the Nikutori-shakku.

___

Meanwhile, Kibito and Gourry were sitting by the side of the road, conversing.

"You know, Lina can be a pain in the butt sometimes," said Gourry. "I have to watch out for her all the time, and she's powerful and all…I sometimes wonder why the hell I stick around."

"Well," said Kibito in a rather staid tone, "Maybe you love her. I remember the first time I met 'Shin-sama…" He sighed and smiled as best he could.

"WHAT THE?!?" Gourry seemed surprised. "Man, that was more than I wanted to know! Yuk!"

"Everyone reacts that way when they find out, unfortunately," sighed the large red man. "But you seem to be in a similar predicament with Miss Lina. You love her, but you don't want to admit it. That's why you're still around her. You want to see her safe, and you don't want any other man chasing after her."

"Oh dear Gods…You're right!" Gourry smiled and put his hand behind his head.

"See? I'm a bodyguard too. I understand." Kibito's facial expression turned warm. "Now go get her!"

"Yessir!" Gourry ran as fast as he could towards the Nikutori-shakku.

Once he entered, he spied cooks working with greasy spoons; bratty children flying paper airplanes around the room...

And Lina with the purple mohawk guy, chowing down on chicken.

"Mmmf…Hewwo, Gowwy"." Lina stuffed another faceful of chicken into her mouth.

"What are you doing with the purple guy?" Gourry got a little angry, his voice raising in pitch.

Lina swallowed. "He took me out for chicken since you wouldn't."

"I never said that! I would have, but he offered first, damn him!"

"Now let's not get all uptight about this, shall we?" said 'Shin.

"I-I can't help it! Lina, I have something to tell you…something important…"

"What? Did you get smarter or something?" She stared, aggravated, at her bodyguard.

"No…I…I think I'm in love with you."

"WHAT?!?" Lina Inverse sprang up from the table.

"I don't mind it when you call me 'jellyfish-brain'. It never made any difference to me what you thought of me. I just thought of you. You're sufficiently strong, and I wondered to myself why I'm still guarding you, even though you're better at black magic than I am…"

"Oh, wow…thanks for the compliment, Gourry-san." Lina sat down again, her face flushed ever-so-slightly.

"Can I buy you the next round of chicken? I'm famished as well!"

"Go ahead, but you'd better not yell anything about us getting married or something stupid like that!"

Gourry just sat there and laughed, without a care in the world…until Lina gave him a drumstick.

The two ate like crazy, too busy to notice 'Shin leaving.

----

"Well, sir, did they figure you out?" asked Kibito.

"No, they didn't know I didn't really want the Claire Bible." Kaiooshin sighed.

"Good. I think I helped Gourry realize that being a bodyguard is a rather perilous job…"

"…since you can fall in love with the person you're supposed to be guarding," finished the god.

"Exactly, sir. Now can we go back to Kaiooshin-kai?"

"Of course, Kibi-chan." Kaiooshin smiled.

"Can you do one more thing before we go back?"

"What?"

"STOP CALLING ME KIBI-CHAN!!!"

"All right, Kibito-san it is." They both whispered "Kai-kai" and they were back on the sacred orb of Kaiooshin-kai, happy they had done their duty.

"Do you think they'll really get together?" asked Kibito. "I have a strong feeling, buut…"

"In the immortal words of Xelloss in Next, as you should well know…", stated Kaiooshin, "sore wa himitsu desu."

END