A/N: I do not own anything from DC. Read and review, if you please!
Chapter One: A Fresh Start
It was a simple wedding.
It was an ornate wedding.
However, most surprising of all, it was a peaceful wedding. When all of your guests are the worst criminals in Gotham City, you would expect some violence or bloodshed. Still, every single guest, from the lowliest underling to the biggest kingpin to the most corrupt of cops didn't do anything wrong. It was shocking that everyone was even there.
Still, when you miss the Joker's wedding, he might miss you. As in, miss you when you're falling off of a cliff. As in, he pushed you off a cliff and he can't save you from a painful death, because he's not Superman or the Flash, you know?
The Joker and Harley Quinn arrived, adorned in their best clothes. He wore a trademark purple suit, garnished with a rose for Harley, while she wore a white dress with a little "I H8 B Man" sticker on it. They said their vows, they kissed, everyone cried, and the wedding was over.
The wedding official, a tiny man named Mr. Crumbly feared for his life, as the Joker had promised him a 'special reward' for marrying them. Still, when everything was said and done, Harley merely tossed him a bag of fancy chocolates. Three months later, Mr. Crumbly would die of a heart disease. Oh, those married couples with their deadly, but oh so addictive treats. He never could stop finding candy to eat.
The Joker and Harley developed a schedule. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, the Joker would go out with some crazy scheme for killing Batman, and on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, Harley would meet up with Poison Ivy and either try to kill Batman or just be a nuisance to the superhero community as a whole. Sundays were spent by one of them busting the other out of jail. While Harley was out causing mischief on her days, her precious Mr. J stayed in their makeshift house, doing various chores and planning ways to kill Batman, and vice versa when he stepped out.
Still, as with almost every married couple, having a familiar, repetitive schedule could breed monotony, and monotony breeds boredom and discontent. One day, Harley came home, holding some rags and a bottle of hot sauce. With a sigh, she put them in a carton marked "FAILED WAYS TO KILL BATMAN".
"Look, Mistah J., I don't think this schedule is working out." she sighed.
The Joker looked up from his notes. "What's wrong, Harley? I'm sorry for leaving the hyena chow in the other room. I thought they would go get it. I'll put it in the room with them next time."
"No, no, it's not that. It's just that you n' me going out to do something involving Batman doesn't seem to happen anymore. Tryin' to kill him seems like a chore now. We just make complicated plan after complicated plan and nothing works. Our nights are spent cataloguing information about Batarangs and acid bombs, not talking with each other. I think that we should take some time off from trying to kill him. Just put on some disguises, see a film, there's that new Sandler movie coming out."
The Joker snarled. "Bah! He's been getting worse and worse. I prefer the classics, like Charlie Chaplin. Still, Harley, my dear, you're absolutely right We should take a vacation! Relax, talk about random things, improve our gadgets and make life more tolerable!" With a flourish, he crumpled up his papers and threw them in the piranha tank.
Harley smiled. "That's great! I can call Ivy, and see if she can take care of the hyenas. If my pets go out on their own and eat too many civilians, someone might shoot them. Also, I have something for you." She handed a small scrap of paper to the Joker.
The Joker's lips quirked. He raised his eyebrow and smiled a malicious smile, a smile full of evil delight. It was an awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea!
And the Joker and Harley packed up, made a quick call to Poison Ivy, stole someone's car, and hit the road. It was vacation time for them!
To be continued…
A/N: I've never done something like this before. Had the idea in a dream, decided to write it. I hope that you enjoy it. This series will basically be about Harley and the Joker's life together. The next installment will most likely have them on vacation, relaxing. But, what was the idea? You will find out. Have an excellent day.