A/N- A parody involving a classical movie dubbed Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Or sex.
That's a really great one too.
Disclaimer: Hi. I don't own ze book or ze movie. Ze accent iz also not mine.
--
Old Man: Who the fuck am I? Random character I guess. I was in the book too but the peeps who were too lazy to read all go WTF.
Peeps who didn't read book: WTF?
Old man: ah well, -dead-
Barty crouch: -flicks tongue- I'MMMMMMMMMA SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE.
Em: wrong scene you ditz.
Damn movie put it in.
…
Harry: wholly shit that kettle was left unattended!
Hermione: wheeeeeeeeee. Zomg ron you have no shirt.
Ron: -stoned-
Hermione: bye.
…
Cedric: hi harry. I like slash.
Harry: me too.
Cedric: uh.. ron is your dad gay?
Ron: noooooo…
Cedric: Yeah but he was hitting on me. "strapping young lad…?"
Ron: uh…. Your mom!
…
Quidditch world cup: over.
…
FredandGeorge: -sexy-
…
Big flying horses: -trample hagrid- whoooaaaaa. We're so fucking drunk from all of that damn whiskey.
Ship: -boring-
…
Beauxbatons: -jiggly wiggly- we've got butterflies.
Durmstrang: -break dancing- We've got sticks.
BAM… BAM-BAM HWAH! BAM… BAM-BAM HWAH!
…
first task shit etc.
Harry: wait!
Em: what?
Harry: what about when I'm chosen as champ numbah 4?
Em: oh. Right.
Dumbledore: HARRY FUCKING POTTER! FUCK FUCK FUCK!ONE#$&$
Harry: -sits down-
Ron: -tries to do death glare but isn't really that great of an actor for that kind of shit-
…
Hermione: -owl- dean said that parvati was a virgin but it's a know fact she screwed seamus in the third year so now-
Harry: oO
Hermione: oh, wrong gossip.
Harry: WTF?
Hermione: Hagrids looking for you!
Harry: you're an owl! Burn!
Hermione: nooo… the polyjuice potion made me a cat. Dumbass.
…
Dragon: -dead-
…
Ron: ZOMG sorry Harry. I didn't think that the tournament would be so shitty. I suck at that stuff so it's good you got in and not me. –sentimental-
Harry: awww. Let's have makeup sex?
Hermione: boys.
Britney spears: Boys!
…
Krum: mesa got dah hawt muscles. Herm-own-niny-sex will you go to dah ball with meh?
Hermione: how many times do I have to tell you that's not my name!
Krum: iz dat yes? Okay see you bye!
…
Ball: -here-
Ron: fuck you Hermione krum only wants you for your looks!
Hermione: na-uh.
Ron: ya-huh
Hermione: na-uh
Ron: ya-huh
Hermione: na-uh
Ron: ya-huh
Hermione: na-uh
Ron: ya-huh
Em: damn I should've copy pasted that instead of writing it out.
Hermione: Go to bed!
Ron: fine. I owe Harry make up sex anyways.
…
Cedric: go to the baths. I'll be there.
Harry: nooooooo! Ron'll kill you man!
Cedric: No way. I'm more of a man then him! Do you know how much moral strength one has to have in order to put up with Cho's damn crying?
Harry: I will.
Cedric: Bye!
…
Myrtle: If only I wasn't a ghost. I could seduce you.
Harry: nu-uh
Myrtle: ya-huh
Harry: nu-uh
Myrtle: ya-huh
Harry: -dives under water-
Harry: -gets erection from the mermaid song-
Myrtle: told you so!
Harry: -gathers bubbles-
…
under water scene blah blah blah.
…
maze blah blah blah.
…
Moody: you forgot about me.
Em: oh… right. Uuuuh.
Moody: add me damn it!
Em: …
Moody: constant vigilance!
Em: There!
…
Cedric: -attacted by roots-
Harry: damn it those trees are bitches.
Cup: cooooooooome to meeeeeeeeeee.
Cedric: mine!
Harry: nu-uh
Cedric: ya-huh
Harry: nu-uh
Cedric: ya-huh
Harry: nu-uh
Krum: SHARE!
Cedric: oui!
Harry: fine.
Graveyard: -there-
Voldemort: hey!
Cedric: cool!
Harry: ruuuuuuuuuuuun.
Wormtail: avadakedavra!
Cedric: -dead-
FredandGeorge: wicked!
Voldemort: I'm going to my Jacuzzi now, suckers!
Wormtail: a dog bone!
Wormtail: -cuts off hand- that doesn't hurt. Who cares! I won't express pain. I'll just vut harry.
Harry: ow. –Shows more pain then wormtail from a small scratch-
Wormtail: you look emo, boooooooy.
Voldemort: alive.
Darkmark: -ins sky-
Death Eater peeps: yoyoyo. We're here!
Em: what the hell's with the hats?
Voldemort: shrug
Em: … BIRTHDAY PARTY!
Voldemort: die harry! Buuuuuuuurn!
Harry: -shoots stuff out of his wand-
Voldemort: whoa that looks like an erection.
Lily and James: Hi Harry. Sup?
Harry: I'm just dieing and stuff.
James: cool. Do you like my widow's peak?
Lily: we both need to get face lifts. We look ancient.
Cedric: BTW take my body.
Harry: why? So I can sexually abuse it?
Cedric: w/e.
Harry: accio cup! –gone-
Voldemort/harry/ced'sdad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Cedric'sdad: my boy! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Harry: wah. Wah. –bad at crying.
…
Moody: -barty crouch- -flicks tongue-
Dumbledore: Your mom!
Barty: I'll show you mine if you show me yours!
All: expose penises
All: oO
THE END.
A/N- Review.
Or I'll kill you.
Or something.