Disclaimer: Remus Lupin and the wizarding world belong to the great J.K. Rowling. I just burrw for this little story wich crossed my mind a while ago. The setting is pre-HBP.
A/N: I always believed in destiny and in soulmates. I was fascinated by the idea, that there a people in your life you met before. So I wanted to write a story about it!...If you review (PLEEEAAAASEEEE!), be gentle. This is my first fanfic in english. My mother-tongue is german, so forgive me for time mistakes and whatever! But please tell me what I've done wrong! But first enjoy reading! (hopefully)
First (?) Meeting
Remus Lupin was on his way back to 12 Grimmauld Place. He has been on a mission for the Order. He hasn't been succesful, what pained him. While he walked through a shopping mile filled with muggles, he was lost in his thoughts.
Suddenly he crashed into someone. Remus heard something crack and felt an urging pain in his hand.
„Oh fuck! I'm SORRY! Shit! Are you okay? Don't touch it! Oh gosh, this doesn't look good!"
Remus was still trying to understand what had happened. He looked down on his hand. It was bleeding. And on the ground laid broken glass. As he heard something getting torn apart, he looked up. In front of him stood a young woman, who tore her cotton blouse into a big strap.
„No, Miss! It's not necessary!"
„Are you kidding! Of course it's necessary! You're bleeding like hell! Give me your hand! Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't watch my step!...As always."
Remus couldn't help but smile. This lady reminded him of a certain metamorphmagus. The fair-haired woman wrapped her strap around Lupin's hand. She seemed to know what she was doing.
„Thanks!" he said and wanted to go on. The woman grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
„Where do you think you're going? This won't help for long! I need to clean and bandage your hand! Come on, my house isn't far away from here. I have a car."
He wasn't sure what to think. It surely wasn't a good idea to go with a muggle. And he had to get back to headquaters. He could heal himself with a charm on the way.
„No, really, Miss. I'm fine."
„Please let me help you! I'm a doctor, I know what I'm doing. Or aren't you allowed to go with strangers?" She smiled at him. Her black eyes shone with kindness. All of a sudden, he knew he could trust her. But he didn't know why... And she wasn't going to let him go, for she was still holding tight to his arm. Remus nodded slightly. The woman seemed released.
„Okay! Let's go then."
He followed her to her car. It was a blue Ford Fiesta. Seemed pretty new. She opened the passenger's door and helped him to climb in, although not necessary. Remus noticed the blankets on the backseats and the funny smell.
The young lady climbed into her seat. She reached over with one hand, pulled the belt over him and fastened it. Then she turned his hand a little bit. Remus inhaled sharply. She looked up.
„I'm so sorry! You're lucky that the glass didn't hurt your veine! This is just not my day. And it isn't yours either, huh?"
„Obviously not!"
They smiled at each other. Then the fairhead pulled back and started the engine. Soft music started to play and Remus heard a gentle man's voice sing:
„ How I know you,
how I know you.
Before that fateful morning..."
Remus thought about this lyrics and looked at the young woman. How I know you...
„Oh, I'm sorry! Shall I switch it off?"
„No. It's nice. I was actually wondering what it is."
„It's 'Aida'. Do you know the musical?"
Remus shook his head.
„Well, you missed something. It's wonderful! I could record it for you, if you are interested."
„Thanks, but I don't have a...CD-Player." Gladly he remembered the name for this muggle thing.
„You don't like music?"
„I love music. I have an old phonograph."
The woman whirled her head around.
„Are you serious?"
Remus nodded.
„I can't afford anything else."
„Oh...well, as long as it plays music, who cares! So, what kind of music do you listen to?"
They had a small conversation about music. He was surprised that she knew the old songs he loved most. She didn't like every song he named, but some of them.
„Okay, this is it."
She turned off the motor and climbed out of the car. Remus unfastened his belt and wanted to open the door but she was faster. As Remus thanked and climbed out, she asked:
„Ehem...are you afraid of dogs?"
„No. Why?"
„Because..."
Remus heard a loud barking coming from the house. The lady smiled.
„I have some...But I will lock them outside. Maybe it's not a good idea to let them smell the blood. Just in case!" Again this lovely smile.
„Just wait here. I'm hurrying!"
She ran to her house and slipped inside. The barking got even louder. Remus noticed that it didn't sound like dogs at all.
He looked around. For the first time he noticed that they were far away from the city. Almost next to a forest. Then he looked at the house. It was an old red brick house. Two floors. Behind the house seemed to be a big garden with a big fence. Seemed to be steel. Suddenly the barking got louder. The dogs were let outside. Just that they weren't dogs like she had said. It were wolves. Half a dozen of them! They jumped against the fence and barked at him.
„Oh, shut up, you six! Show your lovely side for once!"
Remus heard a door close and a few minutes later she came back to him.
„Okay, air is clean now. I'm sorry, but it's a mess in there. We are not used to visitors."
She led him to the door. As Remus came closer, the barking stopped and all the wolves raised their noses and sniffed. They seemed to recognise him. For a moment Remus felt panic rise inside of him, but the woman just smiled.
„This is awesome! They seem to like you! Come in!"
Remus was let into a small entry hall. She took of his robe and laid it over a chair. She led him into the living room. It was a light room, with big windows and a glassdoor leading to the garden. All the wolves jumped up the window and looked at him. The tiled floor was covered with footprints of the animals. The big read couch stood on a white carpet. And like a miracle, there weren't any prints on it.
„I'm sorry about the mess. I must clean this room every day more than once. But...oh no! Go away from the windows! I cleaned them just yesterday! Shoo!"
She made a movement with her hand and the wolves ran away into the forest. Then she pushed Remus down on the couch.
„Please...try not to bleed on my carpet!"
Remus laughed. The woman grinned and went into the kitchen.
„Would you like something to drink? Some water? That's all I have, by the way."
„Thanks!" Remus shouted back.
He was watching a picture on the wall. It was her, sitting in the grass. In her hands she held three little puppies. The other three were around her, trying to climb on her lap. She was kissing one of the puppies on it's nose. It was obvious that the small wolves adored her.
She had raised them. He had never heard of someone who was able to tame wolves. At least not completely. But these obeyed at a gesture of her.
At this very thought she reentered the room. She balanced an aid kit, a bowl of water and a glass of water in her hands. Slightly she set the things on the table. Then she let herself drop next to him on the floor.
„Okay, let me see this."
Carefully she moved the cloth away. It already stuck to his wound. She took the small sponge from the bowl and cleaned his hand as good as possible. She was gentle and her fingers were soft. Remus watched her carefully. She had a nice heartshaped face, big dark eyes, a small nose and full red lips. She reminded him of a fairy.
„What's your name, by the way?" She asked, completely drown into her work.
He cleared his throat. He knew wizard's names often sounded funny to muggles.
„Remus Lupin." She froze and quickly looked up, straight in his eyes. For a few heartbeats none of them spoke a word. She looked confused.
„Are you making fun of me?" she whispered.
„No. I wouldn't dare."
Another moments passed, she holding his hand, looking at him.
„It's a beautiful name."
Remus smiled. For one moment he thought her cheeks flushed, but she quickly lowered her head. She grabbed a little bottle with a clear fluid in it.
„Okay, this know is going to hurt. But I have to disinfect your wounds. Again, I am really sorry about that!"
„What did I broke, by the way?
„It was a bigger glass for my fish."
She sprayed the disinfectant on his wound.
„Ouch!"
„Sorry!" She smiled at him.Then she asked:
„So, do you have any pets?"
„No." I AM one! Well, not exactly...
„Don't you like animals?"
„I do, but I just can't care for a pet. Too expensive for me."
Normally, he wouldn't talk about his financial situation to a stranger. Not even to his friends. But this young lady just made him say all this personal stuff.
„I definitely know what you mean! My little friends outside are always hungry! And I mean always."
This led him to the question he wanted to ask her since he had seen her 'little friends' for the first time.
„You know these aren't dogs, don't you?"
The young woman laughed.
„ Of course I know! But I didn't want to frighten you...Obviously you've met one before. And it's seems to me that this meeting wasn't a pleasure to you."
Remus knew she meant the scars on his face. While he thought of a humorous answer, she washed her hands, disinfected them and dried them by rubbing it up and down her jeans.
She looked up at him, but he still didn't knew what to say. He had had this conversation a hundred times before, but he had never talked to a muggle about it.
Suddenly the young woman got up on her knees and looked straight at his scars.
„It must be a while ago...They are old...May I?"
She really wanted to touch them! Normally Remus would have said no, but somehow her eyes told him that he could trust her. He nodded.
First, the at least ten years younger woman put her hand under his chin and turned his head slightly to the right, so that she had a better view. She seemed to look at them highly concentrated.
„This has been a very big one."
Her fingers wandered along the lines of his scars.
„You're lucky that it didn't scratch your eye...It must have been really painful...When did this happen to you?"
„She moves straight to the point!" Remus thought.
„I was four when it happened, so it's nearly 30 years ago." He had no idea why he told her this!
„You are a lucky man, Remus Lupin, that you have survived this attack...My brother wasn't that lucky."
Remus gasped.
„Are you telling me that your brother was killed by a wolf?"
„Yes. He was eleven years old. I was six. We stole away from home one night. We wanted to camp in the forest, but our parents wouldn't allow it...He heard the wolf first. We tried to run away, but this was our mistake. We should have stayed by the fire...Well, he was close behind me and shouted at me to run and not to look back...And then the shouting stopped. I was so frightened that I didn't recognise until I was out of the forest. I turned around and waited for him, but he wouldn't come. Just it did..."
„The wolf?" Remus whispered.
„Yes. It stood at the end of the forest and watched me. It was the biggest animal I've ever seen. I looked into those yellow eyes and couldn't move...It just looked at me. It's mouth and claws were covered with my brother's blood...Sometimes, I still see this look in my dreams. You can't imagine it. Maybe it's just something my mind made up, so that my soul wouldn't break, but he looked at me...like...like he wanted to say...that he was sorry. I know this must sound stupid to you...It sounds stupid to me!"
Remus started shaking. What if he had been this wolf?
„What happened next?"
„My father reached me and shot it."
Remus closed his eyes. His heart never felt lighter. Then he felt her hand on his knee.
„I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you sad... I really don't know why I tell you this. Sometimes I talk before I think. I just wanted to let you know that you can be happy to be alive...you have so sad eyes."
He opened his sad eyes and looked at her. Her eyes didn't seem to be sad.
„Why aren't yours?" he whispered. She thought about it.
„Because I have cried three weeks when I was six and a month when I was old enough to understand the whole uselessness of his death. I made my peace with what had happened. And in a way my brother is always around me...through my family."
Remus knew that she meant the wolves. It seemed weird to him that she called the wolves her family. The woman seemed to understand his look.
„Yeah, it's not easy to understand. But when I was sixteen I read a book about Indian mythology. There it said that a soul can always come back to earth in shape of an animal. And I'm sure that he would return as one of them..."
„Is that the reason you got them?"
„I guess so. They are wonderful creatures. Mysterious. I just love them...And you? Are you frightened?"
„Well, I guess not. In a way, I know how they are."
The young woman didn't understand what he meant, but smiled.
„Do you want me to introduce you?"
„I don't know if that's a good idea."
„I'm sure they will like you. They seemed very interested in you. I've never seen this reaction before. And I'd really like to know what this means. And you're hand is bandaged now. No worries, I will protect you."
They lookedat each other again. She will protect him... For a moment Remus had the feeling, that he had heard her say this before...But this was impossible, of course! They had just met. And still there was this familiarity. He felt comfortable around her. And he had no idea why...
The woman stood up and hold her hand out to him. While Remus looked up to her, he felt like he was completely drawn to her. Slowly, he laid his hand in hers and stood up. He was nearly a head taller than her. They stood close, hands still touching. He could smell her. She smelled like summer. For a moment, Remus was completely drown in her deep black eyes. How I know you...
„What did you say?" she whispered.
„Me?...Nothing! You wanted to introduce me, right?" he smiled at her nervously.
„Yeah! Sure!"
She let go of his hand and opened the door leading to the garden. Remus followed her outside. She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. Then he heard one of the wolves howl and shortly after that the six of them came running from different directions out of the forest. As they came closer, the young lady stepped in front of Remus and raised a hand. At once, the wolves stopped. All of them sniffed curiously.
„Lads, I want to introduce you to Remus Lupin. I nearly killed him today, so be nice."
She turned to Remus, who was smiling because of her comment about that killing thing.
„Are you ready? Don't get scared. They can smell it."
„I know. Don't worry, I am not scared yet."
„Okay then!" She smiled and slightly stepped aside.
The biggest wolf, obviously the alpha, took a few steps and sniffed at him. Remus did the same without knowing. He could smell the wolf's interest in him. So they really knew what he was. Slowly, Remus held out a hand to it's nose. The alpha inhaled Remus' scent deeply. After a few moments, in which the wolf looked straight into Remus' eyes, he shortly howled and wagged his tail. All the others started sniffing and tail wagging. It was a little chaos. Everyone wanted to sniff him and Remus was surrounded by wolves.
„Amazing!" he heard whisper the blonde.
„Guess they like me!" Remus answered with a boyish smile.
„Like you? They adore you! I've never seen this before! This is just..."
„Amazing?"
She smiled at him. „Yes! Just amazing!"
After a few more moments she freed Remus from her family.
„Okay, Mr. Lupin. I like you to meet Freki. He is the alphawolf of the pack, of course. And to his left stands his younger brother Geri. Next to him is Fenrir. This is the male part of my little family." As she introduced them, she stroke the wolves' fur and patted them proudly.
„And now to the female part: This beauty here is the youngest, her name is Leviyah. We're trying to get this lady pregnant at the moment! Aren't we, Levi?" She knelt down, put the face of the young wolf in her hands and petted her furiously. Remus laughed. The woman beemed at him and stood up again. She moved to the next wolf and stroke it's head.
„This one is Asena. She is Geri's wife... Most times." She winked at Remus.
„And this one is the female alpha. She is Leviyah's sister...Her name is Lupa."
She looked at Remus, waiting for a sign of recognition. And she got it. Remus nodded.
„Lupa was the name of the wolf who suckled Romulus and Remus."
„Yes."
„What a coincidence."
„I don't believe in coincidence, Remus Lupin."
They watched each other for a few more minutes. Again, Remus felt as if he could see something in the dephts ofher eyes. Somethin familiar...Suddenly Asena pushed her side.
The blonde rolled her eyes and looked down.
„Yes, I know it's time again. Thanks for reminding me so gently!" She rubbed her hip.
„It's time for their lunch" she explained to Remus.
„Would you mind assisting me?"
Remus shook his head.
„Great! Follow me!... No, you stay outside!" she told the wolves and closed the door behind Remus. The animals started pressing their noses against the door and wagged their tails in agitation.
Remus was led into the kitchen. It was a nice one. Just the opposite of the kitchen in 12 Grimmauld Place. It was painted in a light tone and the cupboards had a nice red tone. In the middle stood a table surrounded by four chairs. On one wall hung a collage with lots of pictures of her and her wolves in different periods of growth. He tried to recognise them, but for him they looked like one another. He could just separate them by smell. Suddenly he recognised, that he had no idea what her name was.
As he turned around, she pulled six big dog dishes out of the cupboard and held them out to him. He took them and said:
„You know, it's very nice that you introduced me to your family. But I would have appreciated if you had introduced yourself first."
She blinked at him. It took her some seconds to understand she hadn't told him her name.
„You know me" she whispered absently.
„Poud'n?" He didn't know if he understood correctly.
She cleared her throat and smiled again.
„I'm sorry. My name is...Hope. Hope Brandish."
„That's a very nice name. Very positive in fact."
„Thank you, Mr. Lupin." She smiled at him.
For the first time, his name sounded unfitting to him.
„Please, call me Remus. I think, after your whole family sniffed at me, this is more proper!"
Hope laughed. He really liked the sound of it.
„Just if you call me Hope!"
„It would be my pleasure!"
She seemed to blush a little.
„So, Remus. Are you ready to feed the beasts?"
He nodded.
Hope turned around and opened the big refrigerator. She pulled out a huge sack with meat. Hope threw it over her shoulder. She looked like Santa clause. Remus was surprised that she could handle the weight on her back easily.
„We'll feed them outside."
They went into the living room. Her family were gathered at the door. Hope made this gesture again. The wolves obeyed, but not that fast. Remus was more than impressed.
„How did you tame them?" he asked.
„With a lot of hard work. And even more love."
She opened the door and went outside. Remus followed her and put the cups on the grass. As he raised, he saw the wolves. They stood a few feet away, sniffing and tail wagging. Hope put the sack down and opened it. While filling the cups with the meat (with bare hands), she said:
„The first year I stayed with them all day. I became one of them, actually. I was the alpha. During summer I slept with them outside."
„I imagine this was quite tough for you."
Hope smiled.
„It was the greatest time of my life. I loved it. You can't imagine this, Remus. I felt so...free! So alive! It was just amazing!"
Remus smiled. He couldn't help himself, but his heart warmed at her words. She knew what it was to sleep outside. To live with beasts. Although small ones.
„This must sound stupid to you" she said with cheeks blushed.
Remus knelt down beside her and touched her arm.
„No, it doesn't. Not at all! I think it's rather impressive."
She blushed even more, but beamed at him.
„Thank you, Remus."
He really liked the way she spoke his name. For a few moments, their eyes locked again. He could hear this male voice inside his head again: „How I know you..."
He didn't feel uncomfortable around her, although she was a stranger to him. And a muggle!
Hope smiled at him. A knowing smile, he thought. What do you know about us, Hope? What do you want to tell me with this look in your beautiful dark eyes?
Freki growled. Hope sighed and broke the eye contact.
Then she snapped:
„Don't be so impatient, Mister-I'm-the-boss-of-everyone! Or you'll get nothing at all!"
Freki growled again, but lower this time.
„Grrrrrrr!" Hope growled back.
Remus laughed.
„You are weird!"
"Wow! Where did THAT came from?", Remus asked himself.
But Hope just shrugged, still smiling.
„I know. But I'm not the only one here, Mister Lupin!"
She got back to work. Remus just smiled. He couldn't help himself.
„I like it when you smile like this, Remus. It makes your eyes so much happier."
Remus heart stopped beating. She hadn't even looked at him! How...Why...
While Remus was still wondering, Hope finished her work and stood up, with the sack in her hand, which was half empty now. Then she whistled through her teeth. At once the wolves ran to their cups and started eating. Leviyah first licked the blood from Hope's
arms. Hope giggled and petted the wolf on the head when she was done.
„Let them eat" she said and pulled him back inside. She went into the kitchen and pulled the sack back into her fridge. Then she washed her arms. When she came back to the living room, Remus was watching her. Hope even walked like a fairy. She reached him and just looked at him. Again she had this little smile upon her face. It drove him mad. He felt stupid. He wanted to know what's going on here! But he knew she wouldn't tell him. He wanted to stamp a food on the ground like a child. He wanted to shake her, to get this smile off her face.
Suddenly he realised, that he was smiling, too.
What the heck was wrong with him? He had to get out of there.
„Well..." he said, „I better get going. I stole your time long enough."
„I lead you to the door, then" she said. Was there sadness in her voice?
She took his arm and let him to the door. She pulled up his robe and held it out to him.
He thanked her and slipped into it. As he turned around, her hands followed him around his shoulders and rested on his chest. She was adjusting his robe. Remus just hoped she couldn't feel his heart beating hard against his chest. Unconscious he inhaled her scent deeply. Too good, he thought.
Hope looked up, smiling again. Her eyes weren't as bright as before, he noticed.
„It was a great pleasure to meet you, Remus Lupin." Her voice was soft.
„My pleasure, Hope Brandish" he smiled at her.
„Can I drive you back to the city?"
„No, I'm fine. But thanks."
She smiled and fumbled with his robe. Remus was very aware of her touch. All his senses seemed to focus on this one spot where her hand was touching him.
„GET OUT!" a voice screamed inside his head.
Remus cleared his throat.
„Well...I better get going."
„Don't."
„Poud'n?"
„Ahem...I mean...I wanted to invite you!"
She left him and went to another room. Remus fought with the sudden cold around him. He couldn't fight a feeling of loss. But he hadn't have enough time to wonder about this, cause she was coming back, with a little red flyer in her hand.
„Here" she handed it over to him.
He read it out loud:
The Lady of the wolves
Experience the ancient tale about an Indian princess,
who was lost,
endangered,
strengthened,
feared,
and loved.
Don't miss Hope Brandish run, play and fight with her 6 grown wolves!
An adventure you will never forget!
Date: 16th July
"I thought you are a doctor?"
„Well...I was on my way to that. I studied some semesters, but I never made my final exams, 'cause I got the opportunity to raise wolves. And I took this chance. Are you mad of me for lying to you?"
"No."
"So...Will you come? Entrance is free!"
He didn't know what to tell her. Honestly, he'd love to see her again. She was kind of fascinating with her gentle eyes and her knowing smile. But he knew it wouldn't be a good idea. A war was coming up. He couldn't afford to fall for her. Cause if he was true to himself, there was definitely a chance to that...
„Ahem...I don't know. Maybe I'll have to work..."
„Oh...well, that's more important, of course. I...I'd just like to see you again, Remus." Hope looked down, hiding her flush from him. So she couldn't see his red cheeks.
„Well,...I...I'll see what I can do."
They looked at each other. Then Hope said softly:
„You know where to find me."
Remus smiled nervously.
„Yeah...Well, I really have to leave now."
Hope smiled weakly and opened the door for him.
„Goodbye, Remus."
„Goodbye, Hope."
They shared another smile and then Remus left. Her heard her close the door behind him. He didn't look back. His steps were large and fast. Remus had the feeling that this was the only way to escape from there...from her.
A/N: Me again! If you are interested, I got the wolves' names from ancient mythologies! Freki and Geri were Odins wolves. Fenrir was also made by Odin and was the best friend of his son Tyr. Leviyah means 'female lion' in an african tongue, I think. But I'm not sure of that. I just heard the name and liked it. And I got the name Asena from a turkish legend. So, did you like it?