We say goodbye in the pouring rain,
And I break down as you walk away
"Leaving? How can you be leaving? Dean, you can't - you can't leave... you're my best mate... I -"
"I've got to go, Seamus. You know that better than I do."
"But you can't! Don't leave... please, Dean..."
Seamus didn't have to look up from his boots to know that Dean had placed one of his hands on his shoulders. The warmth in the simple contact itself made Seamus' heart sink with dread, made tears swell before his eyes. I've got to go... the words still rang in the back of his head, playing over and over until his knees buckled beneath him. He would not fall. He would not cry. He wouldn't. He couldn't.
"You can't... you can't just go... Dean, please..." Seamus begged, a futile attempt, he knew, but the words fell from his lips without thought. "Please."
"Seamus, stop... you're making this harder than it needs to be," Dean's voice was cold, as though he had long-since detached himself from his best mate. How long had Dean known he would have to run? Long enough, Seamus supposed. And hadn't he known, too? Hints were everywhere in the letters they sent, in their fleeted glances and hushed conversations. Had he really been so oblivious, or did he just not want to accept the imminent fate?
Rain pelted against windows and buildings alike, making Seamus' hair cling to his body; he balled his fists at his sides, digging his nails into his palms. He would not cry. He wouldn't. No matter how his eyes burned, how his stomach churned, how his legs were like jelly, he would not crumble. Not in front of Dean. Never in front of Dean.
"So what? You're just going to leave?" Seamus said, voice rising. "Hogwarts... Hogwarts needs you. What about Ginny? And Neville, and Luna, and - and everyone else?"
"I can't stay, Seamus," Dean said quietly, his clothes drenched with rainwater as he pulled his arm back to his side. "Hogwarts has you. Everyone will be fine so long as they've got you."
Seamus bit his lip. "Dean... Dean, what about me? I need you. You're my closest friend, I - I don't know what I'd do without you." He tried to avert his gaze from Dean's lean figure, tried to look away from those chocolate brown eyes and that dark skin and his frizzled black hair and... and Seamus could almost feel the tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. No, he caught himself, not here. Not now.
"You don't need me," Dean muttered. "You'll manage."
"I won't!" Seamus snapped. "I do need you! We're... we're Dean-and-sodding-Seamus! Without you... without you, I'm no-one. We're a pair. A two-for-one sale!"
A small smile edged its way onto Dean's thin lips. "I'll be back. When this... when this whole ordeal is over, Seamus... I - I swear I'll find you. And we'll be Dean-and-sodding-Seamus again. We'll always be Dean-and-sodding-Seamus."
"Always," Seamus repeated.
"And then some."
"Always and then some," Seamus breathed. He blinked back tears. "You promise, Dean? You swear?" A stupid question. How could he ask that? How could there be any guarantee of Dean's survival? He shook his head, looking back to the ground as raindrops snaked their way down his cheeks. "Sorry. I know you can't... I just... I don't want to lose you."
"You think I want to lose you, Seamus? You've gone mental, if that's the case." Dean smiled gingerly. "I'll try. I promise. I swear. I will try. But you have to promise that, too. Promise you'll try. For Hogwarts. For Ginny, and Luna, and all the rest." He leaned forward and placed both his hands on Seamus' shoulders, and the Irish wizard mustered the strength to meet Dean's eyes once more. He added the next bit quietly. "For me, Shay. Try for me."
"Dean," Seamus' voice cracked. "Dean, of - of course I will. You're my best mate... I wouldn't... I -"
"I know," said Dean quietly, pulling Seamus close to his body in a tight embrace. "I know." He repeated it every few seconds, even when Seamus had wrapped his own arms around Dean and buried his head in the soft fabric of Dean's jumper. "I'll miss you."
"Dean..." His voice faltered. He stared, mouth agape, the finality of everything finally flashing before his eyes. Dean could die. Would most likely die. Why? Why Dean? Why couldn't the God Seamus had always learnt about - who always sent prophecies and healed the injured and brought miracles - spare Dean? Dean, his best mate? Who had been there through everything. Through his rejections, his break-ups, his sicknesses, his best moments, his worst. Why Dean? Dean, of all people? Why?
The grip around him grew looser as Seamus felt a knot grow in his stomach. Why Dean? It seemed silly, he supposed, to remember that, only a few years prior, he had wondered the same thing. Lying awake late at night, staring at the ceiling of his dorm-room, listening to the evened-out breathing of Dean, the loud and often-distracting snoring of Ron, the soft whimpers of Neville, the muttered words of Harry. Of all people, why had he fallen for Dean?
The thought, in stark contrast to all his others and the scene playing before him, made him stifle a sob. He had wanted to tell Dean. The next day, he had tried to, but the boy had been so thick... then the next month, and a few after that, and then the next year and he had never been able to find the words. He had never been able to find the right time. Why Dean? Why did it have to be Dean?
"Stay," he choked out. "Dean... please, stay... not - not forever... but - but just for a while. Stay here. Stay here with me. Please."
"Seamus..."
"Dean, I - I'm sorry," Seamus said, biting back the tears. "I'm selfish. I - I don't... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Dean, I'm so sorry..."
"Shay, it's all right," Dean stepped forward, reaching out, but Seamus snapped out of reach. "Seamus?"
"No, you've got to go, don't you?" Seamus stepped away, shaking his head. "Well - well go. Just go, Dean! Don't even bother. Why did you even come here? Why would you..."
"Because I wanted to say goodbye!" Dean snapped back. "Maybe you're forgetting, but we're Dean-and-sodding-Seamus! We're the two-for-one sale? A pair? Damnit, Seamus, would you look at me?"
"No! For God's sake, Dean, I won't look at you! Do you have any idea how hard this is? How long I've waited... just to... and now you're going? I never even..." Seamus buried his head in his hands. Don't cry. Don't cry. "Just... just stay with me. Not forever. I couldn't ask that. But... but just for a little while longer. Just stay here - right here. Just stay with me. Please."
"I will," Dean said quietly. "I'll miss you. You're - you're my best mate."
Seamus lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Dean's torso. "You're my best mate, too." His grip on Dean's jumper tightened and he pressed his face further against the fabric, keeping his sobs to himself. "I love you. I need you. I'll miss you. I - I'm sorry."
Dean's hand found the back of Seamus' head, delicately stroking his damp hair. "I love you, too, mate. Always and then some, right?"
He would not cry. Could not cry. Not now. Not then. Not infront of Dean.
"Always and then some," he mumbled.
Only when Dean turned on the heels of his sneakers and set off in a quick sprint, when he vanished into thin air with only the faintest pop!, when there was no trace - no single slice of evidence except that engraved into Seamus' brain - that Dean Thomas had ever been there that night, that Seamus broke down. That Seamus sunk to his knees and let the tears roll down his cold cheeks. That he ignored the pouring rain and let himself listen to only his sobs, and let himself listen to Dean's words, ringing in the back of his head.
I love you, too, mate.
Always and then some.