A/N: Hello! We, Kristi and Alyssa, are co-writing this book. It's a semi-Degrassi fan-fiction. What we mean is that we're using our own storylines, but we're using Degrassi's characters, which is why they may sound familiar. We can assure you that this will be nothing like the television show. We have imaginations and we know how to develope our own plots. Panic! At The Disco (the best band ever!) music has given us a lot of inspiration for this story, so you should all go listen to them. (; Anyway, thank you for reading, we hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: We do not own Degrassi or any of it's characters, we're simply borrowing them.

PS: If you have a Twitter account, and you would like two more followers, follow us! kkrriissttii_xo and Mancoocoo (;

SUMMARY

Elijah yearns for any way out; a trapped door that allows him to dodge the scorching knives whipped at his heart. But when she enters his world, that escape slips through his fingers, and the complicated story of his life begins to unfold. Little does Elijah know that there will be more than just ripped pages detracting from his tattered book.

PETALS OF A DYING ROSE:

All eyes had fallen on me. My black hair, soaked and clinging to my cheeks, the white roses I held in my clenched fist, crumpled and dying. I didn't care. I couldn't care. The loosely tied bow-tie that hung around my neck came undone as I stormed down the aisle. I angrily slammed the white roses, now distorted and wrinkled, down on the casket and turned to run back out of the church.

The flood of tears, which had built up behind my eyelids, drained from eyes and ran freely down my face. I slammed the heavy, wooden door behind me as a sheet of rain welcomed me with arms of hostility. I kept going. I couldn't stop. My thoughts buzzed around in my head like a swarm of angry bees. The image of Julia's cold, dead, bleeding body had burned itself into my head, terrifying me every time my eyes closed.

"Eli!" Someone called out from behind me. I couldn't think clearly enough to understand who it was. "Eli!" In the blink of an eye, I was on the ground, just inches away from the busy street.

"Are you crazy? You could have gotten yourself killed!" Seth's strong hands pinned my shoulders to the ground. His short, sandy hair flattened against his head in the rain and his hazel eyes shot me such an intense stare that I had to avert my eyes. He was the spitting image of our father, no wonder why he was the favorite.

"Get off me." I wriggled out from underneath him and brushed myself off. A small crowd gathered at the entrance of the small church, my parents stood in the back, embarrassed. I turned away from them. Shouldn't they have been inside anyway? It was Julia's wake, not my mental health evaluation.

My parents slowly emerged from the crowd, trailing my little sister behind them. My father gestured for us to go to the car and he did not look pleased. I didn't care. I couldn't care. I slid into the back seat of the small SUV. My sister slid in after me, and finally my brother.

"You're going to call Julia's parents tonight and apologize for your behavior, understand, Elijah?" My father glared at me in the rearview mirror. My mother glanced at me with sympathetic eyes.

"James, please don't start with him." She placed a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

"The way he acted was uncalled for, Cecilia. I can't believe you want me to let it go."

I pressed my clammy forehead to the window. My father would never understand. He never understood me. I was the person he never wanted me to be. I wasn't perfect, and he couldn't accept it. I was different.

Piper sat as close to Seth as she could, as if I had some kind of disease she didn't want to catch. I was used to that. Piper had always been afraid of me. It was nothing new in the Goldsworthy household.

A few stray tears rolled continuously over my cheeks as my heart pounded in my chest. I covered my eyes with my hands, hoping nobody had seen. I hated car rides. Well, just cars in general. They scared me to death. Automobiles were the leading cause of death in the world. In less than four years, cars had taken away two of the most important people to me.

"Elijah, sweetie are you okay?" My mother asked. I was tempted to look at her, but that would only cause me embarrassment. Drops of salty tears still fell mercilessly from my emerald green eyes.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, inconvincibly. I didn't care. I shouldn't have had to sound like I meant it. My girlfriend was dead.

The strenuous car ride was coming to an end, thankfully. We pulled into our short, paved driveway, and I ran into the house. I stumbled a bit as I desperately raced up the steps to my bedroom. I cringed at the sound the bedroom door made as it squealed open. My nimble feet carried me into the bedroom and I collapsed on the black-dressed bed.

My head spun. Just two days ago, I had the world, and now I had nothing. Just two days ago, I had Julia. And I ruined it. If I hadn't flipped on her, she might have been there and my tears would not have been shed.

Unfair. It was unfair that the only thing I loved was snatched away from me. It was also unfair that she did that to me. It was unfair that they thought it was my fault. That's life. Nobody said it would be fair.

"Uh, dinner's ready, Elijah." I rolled towards the timid voice. My six year old sister, Piper, stood outside the door way, nervously rubbing her arms. Her long, curly dark locks hung limply against her face. Her crystal, blue eyes stared at me curiously like I was some kind of animal in the zoo. Piper and I never interacted unless forced to. She was terrified of me for some reason, and I wasn't exactly Mr. Talkative.

"I'm not hungry." I sighed, turning back to the ceiling.

"Daddy said you have to come down." She argued.

"Tell Daddy I'm not hungry." I nearly growled. I watched her scamper back down the stairs out of the corner of my eye. Knowing my father, he'd be in my room in less than a minute, dragging me to the dinner table; dressed appropriately or not.

"Elijah Reid, you get down those stairs right now. It's dinner time. We eat dinner as a family." Can I call it or what? He wrapped his large hand around my shoulder, prying me off the bed.

"Please leave me alone." I murmured, pressing my weight into the cushy mattress.

Apparently, my efforts proved victorious. His hand left my shoulder and I heard his footsteps head towards to the door. He paused like he was going to say something, but instead he turned back out the door. My father and I were never close either. I was different, and he didn't appreciate that.

My thoughts kept traveling back to Friday. Julia's face as she left, crying and angry, crept its way to the front of my head. The devastating phone call from Mrs. Anderson that was informing me that the girl of my dreams, the love of my life, was dead rang in my ears. And all I could remember thinking was; Not again. Please, please, don't let this be happening to me again.

"Elijah, can you please come down for dinner? You haven't eaten since the accident." My mother took it upon herself to come into my bedroom and sit down next to me. Her voice broke me away from my thoughts. Maybe I should have been thanking her for it. I sat up to look at her. My mother's short, chestnut hair rested on her shoulders, her warm, chocolate eyes displayed so many thoughts. Some of them I didn't want to know.

"Fine." I sighed. I didn't like making my mother unhappy. After all, she was the only one, besides Seth, who actually tolerated me in our 'family'. We weren't a family. Families are happy and do things together. They don't exclude anyone, unlike ours. Someone is nearly always excluded, and that someone is me.

I solemnly followed her down the carpeted steps and into the dining room. My father sat at one head of the table, Seth and Piper sat on his left, my mother took a seat at the other head of the table, and I took my usual seat in between both of them. Seth had refused to sit next to me; he complained that my elbows were always in his way since I'm left handed. Piper wouldn't have sat next to me if given the choice.

"Let's say grace, now that Elijah has charmed us with his presence." They all grasped hands. Mom and Dad both reached for mine. I tucked my hands under my thighs.

"Elijah, hands." My father sternly narrowed his eyes.

"I refuse to pray to this supposed God person." I stared him straight in the eye.

"Excuse me?" He gasped. Though I couldn't see her, I was positive my mother looked stunned.

"I don't see how there could ever be a God if He lets people so close to others just die. It's not fair, and I refuse to believe that there is a person so cruel." I lowered my eyes and shook my head a bit to make my speech more convincing.

"God has a plan for everyone. Julia wasn't meant to grow old, that's the way life works. Now stop being ridiculous and let's say grace so we can eat!"

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest. My breathing began to heave and I could feel my nostrils flare. "Julia wasn't meant to grow old? God wanted her to die? How could you say a man who picks fifteen year old girls off the Earth like there's no tomorrow deserves to be praised?" I screamed.

Everyone dropped their hands and stared at me. When nobody responded, I continued. I was on a roll and I couldn't stop myself. "And what about Uncle Mark? Was he meant to die too? Did God make another car take him out on the highway too? Huh?" I felt the all too familiar wetness saturate my cheeks. I couldn't believe I was crying in front of my family. Piper didn't even cry in front of people.

"That's enough, Elijah." I was sick of hearing my name. Every time they talked to me, they had to say my name, like I would forget it if they stopped saying it.

I roughly slid my chair out from the table and casually went back up the stairs. None of this was fair. Nothing. My life for the past three and a half years had been shit. The only good thing I had was Julia, and now she was gone, gone for good. If there was a God, He must have truly despised me. Only someone heartless would dangle something great, something so precious in front of someone's face only to snatch it away.

I hit the light switch in my bedroom as I walked through the doorway. My feet blindly navigated across the room and found my cool, full sized bed. I immediately threw myself onto it and yanked my sheets over my head in a desperate attempt to rid myself of the nasty chills that were travelling up and down my body.

If there really is a God up there, please kill me.