This is a slight change on the Christmas episode.

Against All Odds

Chapter 1: In Too Deep

Meredith had heard it all. She realized that spending Christmas in a bar eavesdropping on a conversation meant only for a married couple wasn't exactly "normal" holiday behavior. But she hadn't meant for it to happen. She'd been sitting on the other side of a partition, blocked by a wall. But she'd heard every word. She listened as Derek attempted to explain his feelings to Addison. There was a silence. Then a chair scraping against the floor. Heels clicked against the floor. Addison. A heavy sigh. Derek. Meredith leaned her head against the wall, closing her eyes, trying to breathe, trying to comprehend what it all meant. She couldn't do it here. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for an alternate exit, a way to get out without him seeing her and knowing what she'd just done.

Too late. She heard his chair scoot back and he stood. His soft footsteps didn't head toward the door. No, he was headed to the bathroom, right by Meredith. Maybe he'd be too preoccupied to notice her there. Maybe he'd walk right by, not noticing anything….

He smelled her before he saw her. He knew that smell anywhere. A combination of roses and honey scented shampoo. He shook his head, trying to clear the notion that she was nearby from his mind. But when he refocused, his eyes landed on the very source of the familiar scent. Her. "Meredith…." He muttered, pinching the skin between his eyes. She lowered her eyes, knowing she'd been discovered. "You heard…" He stated, knowing he didn't have to ask. She nodded, her eyes still downward. He sighed and slid into the booth next to her.

Her senses went on high alert the second he was in close proximity. It was nothing new, her body betrayed her mind anytime he was remotely close. He laid an arm around the back of the booth and she inhaled his smell. It was light but masculine, it was Derek.

"Mere…" He whispered, letting his voice trail off. For a few seconds, he let himself go. He leaned down, breathing in her fragrant smell as he lightly kissed her neck. She held perfectly still. "Why… Why does this feel so right…?" He muttered against her ear, as the arm that was previously resting on the booth back now snaked around her, holding onto her. He held her as though she was his lifeline to the world.

She felt herself crumbling under his grasp. He hadn't held her like this in such a long time. She hadn't forgotten how it felt though, in fact, it was all she thought about when she went to bed at night. She felt his breath on her neck and his lips against her ear. "I'm sorry. So sorry." He whispered, holding her close to him. "I… I don't understand." She said as he maintained his grip. "I'm sorry because I love you and I'm married to her." He replied, inhaling deeply.

He felt her swallow deeply. He continued before she said anything. "She's my wife Meredith." He said simply. She nodded as she scooted away from his. His face twisted in protest. She shook her head. "No Derek. You can't do things like that to me and then tell me that nothing can happen. You just can't." She chided, swiping at a tear threatening to fall. He lowered his head. "I can't help how I feel." He told her, his eyes tinged in pain. "No, you're right, you can't. You can't help who you love. But you know what you can help? Who you're married to." She spit, as she snatched up her purse and coat and stormed out.

1 WEEK LATER

Meredith sat on her bed, cradling her head in her hands, her elbows resting on her thighs. This was by far the worst start to a new year that she'd ever had. She hadn't even been at Seattle Grace for a year and she'd already managed to help a man commit adultery against his picture perfect wife. Only, she hadn't just slept with him. There was more to it than that. There was always more to it than that when it came to being "the other woman" she thought glumly.

A knock on her bedroom door pulled her out of her reverie. She stood and padded to the door, glancing in the mirror on her way. She looked like hell. Her normally vibrant gray eyes were dull and rimmed in red, dark circles accenting her under eye. Her creamy complexion was blotchy from the late night crying jags she was now experiencing. The shoulder length blonde hair she loved the most was matted on one side and tangled on the other. She sighed and shrugged before opening her bedroom door. She already had a pretty good idea as to who it was. When Izzie appeared on the other side, her suspicions were confirmed.

"Meredith!" Izzie exclaimed at her best friends' appearance. Meredith merely raised her eyebrows. "You have work in an hour." Izzie reminded, letting herself into the room. "I know. I'm ready." Meredith replied, gesturing to her scubs. "You are not going looking like that. Plus, I know for a fact you wore those scrubs last night and that you wore them to bed. So get in the shower and I'll get you another set to wear." She commanded and as much as Meredith would have liked to respond or put up a fight, she just didn't have it in her.

Half hour later she was clean and dressed in light blue scrubs. Her eyes, while clear, the shower hadn't washed away the sadness. She climbed into the car next to Izzie, George in back. Meredith took several shallow breaths. This was the first time she'd be working with him since Christmas.

15 minutes later, they were at SGH. She swallowed hard as she strode in. "Be confident Mere. You are better than this. You deserve better than this." She told herself under her breath. That worked for about 30 seconds. Or until she saw him, whichever came first.

She looked like hell. So did he. It killed him to see her that way. She looked worn, tired, and worst of all, broken. But she still was trying. Trying to pretend she was OK. He knew her better than that. Damnit, he did. He hated that. He didn't to know her. Knowing her made it worse.

'Just don't look at him' she told herself, making her way to the locker room without being too conspicuous. No such luck. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him following her. She sighed softly before turning around right at the door. "Don't." She told him, raising herself to her full height, which was still several inches shorter than him, but it made her feel more authoritative. "Meredith-" He started. "Derek." She pleaded, her dull eyes getting watery. "Please do not make me cry here. I already do it at home. Not here Derek." She went on, her voice barely above a whisper. He turned his eyes to hers. He couldn't be doing this. He couldn't believe he caused what he saw in her eyes. His shoulders fell in defeat. She turned and went into the locker room alone.

Well? What do you think? You like? This is my first GA fic, please R&R!