A/N: Okay, I'm not going to be here on V-day (leaving on a trip, YAY!) so I'm posting this early. Anywho, enjoy... ish. Don't yell at me for langauge and non-editing, because I'm sick and if you do I'll cry and puke on you, so there.
Two years I've been sitting here, waiting.
Two fucking years.
Staring at that door and waiting for you to open it, walk past that threshold and brighten up the room. Make it perfect, beautiful. Light it up and all that cliché crap.
Waiting for you to come home.
Yeah, yeah, I know you're dead. I got the message. Over and over again. First from your murderer. Yes, I know what he did. He can go on forever about how your death was a 'tragic accident,' but I know the truth. He killed you. He murdered you my beautiful, beautiful boy. My Light. My God. My Kira.
Yes, I remember who you are. I gave up the notebook, but apparently there's only so much a mind can permanently suppress over and over, and the last two years things have been seeping back in. I'll never forget you, forget what you did to our world. What you did for our world.
… There was never even a news broadcast. No one said anything at all. They think you're resting, waiting to see if people have learned and if you can go back to a normal life. I'm glad they don't know the truth. That we have a fucking god killer on our hands.
Did he give you a trial, my love? No. No, that we would've seen. It would have been everywhere, 'Kira found!' 'God on trial?' I can see the headlines now. But that would be to risky, because of the love our world held for you.
Did he at least let you die with dignity, on your feet, facing the world you loved so much? No. No, of course he didn't. He doesn't have the honor for that. He just killed you and left it at that. Case solved. Over. Done.
Did it hurt to die? Were you in pain in your last moments? I am so sorry that I could not be there to comfort you, to care for you at the very end. I hope that you will forgive me.
I'll be seeing you soon. I have everything prepared for our reunion. I put candles up around the kitchen – hundreds of them, red and pink and white. They're beautiful, but something even prettier is in their midst… a picture of you. I spread rose petals all over the floor too, I can feel them under foot as I walk over to the chair in the centre of the room. I do hope you like my outfit. I think it's perfect: a wedding dress, white and trailing and just so, so beautiful. I like to think you would've smiled to see me now. You will smile, soon.
My hands don't shake at all as I place the thick cord around my neck. It's rough, but I don't mind so much. I feel the beginnings of a smile spreading over my face as I lift my foot over empty air, preparing to step down. Eyes locking on your picture I know that my smile must be growing larger still as I take that final step.
Happy Valentine's Day.
A/N: Okay, yeah, that's it. Enjoy? Please tell me whatcha think, kays?
Ja ne,
Kanki