This is my first attempt at FanFic writting... English is not my first language so there is probably a lot of mistakes on that part wich I hope you will forgive.

I always felt that ingame Shepard gets plunged into the missions to quickly, so here I remeday that, starting her story slightly prior it. Anyhow, looking forward to any possible comments.

BioWare owns all!

Chapter 1 : Normandy

Eyes open wide, sweat on her skin, shriek silenced in her throat she jumps up from her bunk with bewildered expression in her eyes. Few seconds later she composes herself in her usual commando stance.

It was only a dream, silly you!

Regardless of it, she feel annoyed by her reaction to simple dream. She walks to the calendar and looks at the date.

Of course! Its anniversary of the attack on Ellysium...

She was to occupied by the fact that she was transferred to Normandy, the newest and fastest ship on the fleet, to serve under Captain Anderson and as such she completely forgot that those dreams would return tonight.

She opened a drawer pulling out a candle and a lighter. With a sight she puts the candle on the desk and lights it in remembrance and honor of civilian lives that were lost as the first wave of Skyllian Blitz hit Elysium.

In her mind she sees the faces of those that she has seen to fall... all were someone's grandparents, spouses, lovers, children and none of them was a soldier. That is what makes it so hard. Every soldier knows the risks of enlistment and accepts it, willingly puts his/hers life at stake in order to serve and preserve. It is still sad, but we know what we are getting into... But dying civilians and even-more-so children is something she can't and wont come to terms with.

She had her obligatory psych evaluation after the event and she passed with flying colors. She knows she did everything that she could to save as many as possible, keeping enemies at bay and singlehadely closed the gap when it formed, hold on until finally reinforcements came. Even then she fought on, disregarding a deep bleeding wound that adorned her face. She gave her best performance and there is no guilt in her, but she will not accept those deaths easily and she will do better for them. That was one hell of a shore leave...

"Commander Shepard, come to my quarters!" a voice of Captain Anderson interrupted her silent reminiscence.

"Aye, aye Sir!" she promptly answered over the com, quickly pulling on her new uniform.

"You called me, Captain?"

"Yes, sit down Commander."

She sat down opposite site of her new Captain.

"I want you to know that I personally requested Admiral Hackett to assign you to Normandy..."

"Yes Sir, I was told so, Sir."

"The best ship in the alliance force deserves the best crew. Work that you did on Ellysium and later on Torfan speak for themselves. You performed miraculously on both Shepard."

"I did what had to be done, Sir."

"I have followed your career for quite some time and you excelled in every mission you partake in."

"Thank you, Sir."

"I am telling you this so that you will be aware that I know how good you can be but I want to see even more from you."

"I will try my best, Sir."

"No, you will certainly not. You WILL DO better than your best Commander and that is an order!"

"Sir, yes, Sir!"

He looked at her for few moments before he laugh a bit: "You can unstiffen yourself a bit. Shepard."

"Sir?" She wasn't sure how to react.

"I want to hear your opinion on the ship and crew, and an honest one that is." he ignored her question.

"Well Sir, the ship is majestic to say at least and as far as crew goes... I didn't really had time to check their files, yet alone speak with them..."

"Of course, you just came here a day ago and that was only what, 3 hours before you learned of your transfer."

He opened a drawer and pulled a pad out giving it to her.

"Here are files on the crew. Familiarize with them and take a long tour of the ship."

"Yes, Sir!"

"Relieved Commander."

She got up, saluted and headed out.

"Oh, and Shepard..."

She paused and turned around to face Captain Anderson.

"Say hi to your mother for me." he smiled.

"I shall."

"And Kaisha..."

"Yes?"

"Tell her she still owes me a bottle of Sarice Ice Brandy for the lost bet."

"I remember that one, David."

They both laughed as David Anderson winked. Kaisha left the room remembering the first time she saw Anderson. It was on her fathers funeral. David was much junger then and he was "just" Lieutenant. He knew her parents from when they were at Alliance Academy together in class and was regarded as a family friend.

As she walked she noticed curious eyes upon her. Everybody knew that she is THE Commander Shepard, holder of Star of Terra medal for her beyond duty service in The Blitz.

It was annoying for her at the beginning but eventually she got used to it, people knowing her wherever she went, all wanting to take pictures, having autographs (some on strange places YUCK! ). The good side was, that she got free drinks everywhere she went, not that she would drink much, she had to uphold her brilliant shining image of Alliance Hero, but sometimes a quick shoot of tequila was exactly what she needed.

At least she, and everybody else as far as that mattered, knew that her ranks in Alliance were hard earned and not simply given to her due to sparkling careers that her mother Hannah and late father Admiral Shepard had. She worked her ass of and she did so willingly.

At first she joined Alliance military because she was regular navy brat, and because she knew that it would make her father proud if he would still be alive at time, and last but not least because she was a biotic and thus this career path made most sense. But, even if she would never said that aloud, she also wanted to explore space, wander into unknown, discover new planets, anomalies, lives... In any case, life aboard the ship was in her blood. As such she enlisted on the very day she turned 18, making mother extremely proud... and worried at the same time.

On her first mission under Commander F.J. Cullen she first witnessed the deaths of innocent civilians. She was deeply shaken, military training doesn't really prepare you for that even if they try, but she regained her wits about it and made sure that their deaths were not in vain.

At that point she made a wove to do her best and more than best, to always seek a way to keep collateral damage to minimum if it couldn't be avoided altogether.

As she walked back to her quarters she stopped at few posts getting known with Navigator Pressly and some others.