"Because i love you, that's why. And it's killing me that you don't feel the same!"
Kayleigh couldn't stop thinking about her final words to John before she got out of his car yesterday. She had played the words over and over again in her head, on a loop. It was the morning after she had got out of his car. She was slumped on her bed with a tear stained face
"Why the eff did I tell him that? I should've just kept my friggin mouth shut. Stupid girl" she said to herself, as she started sobbing again. Kayleigh had lost count the amount of times she had cried since yesterday
She felt so stupid, she didn't think he loved her back. She felt embarrassed, angry and heartbroken and she had barely slept from crying so much over him. Her eyes were red and swollen she had cried so much
Mandy knocked at the door and Kayleigh put on a brave face. She took a deep breath to compose herself and rubbed the tears away
"Kayleigh?" Mandy called
"Yeah, I'm in here Mand" she answered while sniffling
"Is it safe to come in?" Mandy tried to lighten the mood a bit
"Yeah, come in" Kayleigh nodded at the door
Kayleigh's bedroom door opened and Mandy walked in, she had made her little sister a cup of tea
"You alright now Kayls? Calmed down after last night yet? Here you are, I've made you a cup of tea. Your favourite. Just the way you like it"
Kayleigh smiled slightly as Mandy passed her the drink
"Thanks sis"
"You gonna get ready for work anytime soon?" Mandy laughed, noticing Kayleigh was still in her pyjamas
"I'm not going in. I don't want to see him. If I see him I'll kick him in the bollocks and if I do that I'll get the sack off Dave Thompson, he's another knob rash I can do without"
Mandy sighed and sat down on Kayleigh's bed
"You can't hide away from all this you know Kayleigh. You've had too many sick days as it is, you're lucky you haven't already got the sack. You need to go to work today, face the music. Keep your head held high. And if you see him, you listen to me, young lady, ignore him. He needs to know what he's done to you. He needs to know how much he's hurt you"
"Well I'll quit me job then. I can't face seeing him again Mandy I can't face it. He made such a fool out of me yesterday!" she raged at the memory
"All the more reason to forget about him! I can't believe you're in this state over him! You could do a lot better than him, you know that"
"You've never even met him Mandy!"
"I know I haven't, but you've told me about him. Barrel of laughs by the sounds of things, sounds very boring and grumpy. And I've seen that picture you showed me of you and him. He's not exactly a looker is he? Grumpy, fat, unglamourous-"
Kayleigh cut her big sister off
"Yeah alright Mandy that's enough"
"But yet here you are with a broken heart. Crying over a nobody like him. Move on sis, you could have any man you wanted-"
Kayleigh suddenly became really upset at Mandy's words
"But maybe I don't want any man Mandy! I loved him, I loved John. I wanted John!"
Kayleigh's voice cracked and she broke down in tears. Mandy pulled Kayleigh into a hug to try and comfort her. Kayleigh buried her head into Mandy's shoulder and let the tears fall freely out of her eyes. Mandy was very protective of her little sister, and there was no way she was letting John piss her about
"What the bloody hell happened to you Kayleigh? All you've done, for hours now, is cry. He's not worth it. You don't need a bloke like that in your life. When he just let you go yesterday, you saw him for what he really is. You listen to me Kayleigh Kitson, he doesn't deserve you, he doesn't deserve to know you wasted your time crying over him"
Kayleigh sniffled
"All i can do is cry! What am I gonna do if I do end up going in today? We're the talk of the shop, me and him. Everyone thinks we're together, they all think I'm his girlfriend"
"Let them think what they want. Forget about him Kayleigh, that's what you're gonna do. You need to stay strong and get him out of your mind. Find someone else. Stop moping over a loser like that"
"I can't! I can't Mandy! I can't get him out of my mind. I just keep thinking what if…what if he does love me but-"
Mandy shook her head and looked at Kayleigh in disbelief
"But what? But he's too scared to tell you? But he doesn't know how to say it? That's all the proof you need right there, he's a drip and he's not the right mouse for you"
Kayleigh looked confused for a minute. "Mouse?" What you mean?"
Mandy explained what she meant. "Well that's what he is isn't he? Any bloke who can't be honest with a woman when she asks him to be, or can't tell a woman something like that is not a man, he's a mouse. You are far too good for him, you know that as well as me. You know if that were me, in your situation, and he did that to me, I'd think, piss off! If I see him, I'll deal with him, don't you worry"
Kayleigh sighed. "But I'm not like you though Mandy. Yeah I hate him, but…feelings don't just disappear into thin air. Besides, we nearly kissed the other week in his car after the fancy dress party. I keep going back to that. If it weren't for me effing phone ringing, we would probably have done more than that-"
Despite everything that happened yesterday, Kayleigh still had a tiny niggle of hope that John loved her too
Mandy smiled at her sympathetically. "Well it's up to you what you want to do at the end of the day but you want my advice, go to work and stop thinking about John"
Kayleigh decided to get ready for work after all
Xxxxxx
John had been driving 90 minutes to get to Kayleigh's. He thinks he has it all planned in his head, he's gonna pick her up for work as normal, and he's gonna tell her he loves her too on the way there. He needs her to know how he really feels about her. He desperately needs her to know he loves her too, and he's sorry that he couldn't tell her yesterday. He glanced at the passenger seat, the only thing he had for company that morning was a brown parcel, which was for Kayleigh
Every song he'd heard on Forever FM that morning reminded him of Kayleigh, his car smelled of her perfume. A tiny tear escaped his eye. Everywhere John looked, he thought he could see Kayleigh's face
The announcer on Forever FM's voice came blaring out the radio. It's that time again, the Golden Hour here on Forever FM. But what was the year? Prince William and Kate Middleton got engaged, this year's FIFA World Cup was in South Africa, while Vancouver had the Winter Olympics, and Toy Story 3 was released in cinemas, and topped the box office. But what was the year?
"2010" answered John. What If by Jason Derulo started playing on Forever FM
"What's this junk?" John said to himself, he didn't recognise the song, even though most of it summed up his thoughts and feelings pretty well
what if?
what if I'm the one for you?
and you're the one for me?
what if...
if you are the one
then us meeting here is fate
this is the first time I've seen your face
but is there a chance we are soulmates?
but we can't
we can't tell
the future no
But that's just, the beauty of the world we know
so i'm say duuuduuu duuuduuu duuudu duuudu
baby, what if
we all can say duuuduuu duuuduuu duuudu duuudu
baby, what if
don't know what tomorrow brings
but i'm still hoping
that you are the one for me
oh and what if I had you and what if you had me and
baby, what's the reason we can't fall in love?
what if
what if
what if
But as John listened carefully to the song lyrics he realised pretty fast this was a song about regretting and he couldn't bear to listen to anymore. John immediately turned the radio off and as he kept driving in silence he was on the verge of tears which nearly caused him to crash his car
Finally he pulled up outside Our Mandy's, where Steve was tinkering with his bike. John grabbed the parcel, put it in his jacket and got out of his car
"Alright Steve pal?" he called out
Steve looked up from his bike
"Alright John mate? Good to see ya. What brings you here?"
John guessed Steve didn't know what happened yesterday so acted like nothing had changed. "I'm here for Kayleigh. Same as every morning. Taking her to work aren't I?"
"Bridget Jones you mean? Don't think she's coming in today Mandy said. Unless she changed her mind after all"
John sighed. "Where is she now Steve?"
"Well last time I checked, she was slumped on her bed with a face like a slapped arse. Got right monk on I tell ya. Had Alanis on full blast, Mandy always says that's how ya know she's in an arse. Think she cried herself to sleep last night as well"
John's heart sank at the thought of Kayleigh crying her eyes out over him. "Crying? Why was she crying mate?"
"I haven't got a clue John. Hey, how come you didn't drop her off last night? She came home in a taxi for some reason"
John tried to avoid the question but Steve continued talking
"I asked her where you were, she snapped my head off. She were in a right state last night. Never seen her so upset and angry"
John looked up at Kayleigh's bedroom window. Her heart lamp had gone
"Where's that lamp I got her?"
"Oh, she had a field day last night. Smashed it to bits. She were having a breakdown, don't know what was up with her"
John frowned and his facial expression suddenly made Steve realise exactly why Kayleigh was so upset and angry. He looked at John. John turned away but Steve wasn't fooled
"Is this cos of you?" he asked
"Eh?"
"Is the reason she's so upset cos of you?"
John didn't answer him and looked at the ground to try to avoid talking. Steve shook his head in disbelief
"What did you say to her John?"
John stuttered. "I…I couldn't say anything to her. I was so scared. She-she…told me she loved me, and I love her too-"
"So why didn't you tell her?! yelled Steve. Why couldn't you just be honest with her John, she's in bits up there!"
John's face turned pale and he gulped. "Can I see her? Please. There's something I need to give to her"
"What do you reckon?"
"Look Steve, she needs to know how i-"
"No chance pal. Besides, if i did let you in, Mandy would friggin kill me. Looks like you've blown it! You had a good one there as well. I tell you this, I've never seen her happier, than when she's with you. She smiles so much when you're around. But you've fucked it up now, good and proper"
John threw his head in his hands. At that same moment Kayleigh looked out of the window and saw him and they made eye contact. John smiled up at her, but Kayleigh glared at him and moved away from the window
John's smile started to fade away as it hit him like a ton of bricks just how much he must have hurt her by not being honest when he had the chance to become her boyfriend yesterday
"Steve, do us a favour, when you next see her, will you tell her I love her and I want to be with her? Because I do, I swear"
"Bollocks mate, I'm not getting involved in this, if you love her you tell her!"
John suddenly pulled the parcel out of his jacket. "Just give her this then will ya? Make sure she opens it won't ya?"
Steve looked confused as he took the parcel from John. "What the bloody hell's this?!"
"It's for Kayleigh mate. As soon as she sees it, she'll know. I won't even have to tell her, she just needs to look at what I've got her and-"
Suddenly the front door opened, John's eyes lit up thinking it was Kayleigh, but it was Mandy. Kayleigh had told her John was here and Mandy wasn't happy about it, not one bit
"Get the hell out of here John, she doesn't want to see you" she yelled
Mandy turned to her husband for backup. Steve was under the thumb with Mandy, she definitely wore the trousers in their marriage. He felt like he had to always obey Mandy's wishes, even if he didn't think it was right. He looked at John and nodded
"You heard her pal"
"But I need to tell her- she needs to know how I- she needs me parcel!" cried John
Mandy didn't look impressed. She stood at the door with her hands on her hips
"I'm not having a knobhead like you break my little sister's heart and piss her about! You got that?" she bellowed
"Loud and clear love" John muttered. Mandy had a mouth on her like a foghorn, she was very feisty, the total opposite of Kayleigh. He didn't really want to admit it, but Kayleigh's big sister shit him up a bit, she was pretty scary
"Look, I was scared Mandy. I've had me heart broke before. I do love her ya know"
"Get rid of him Steve" she demanded. "Now" she added firmly
Mandy was having none of John's excuses, she was just about to go back inside the house when John took the parcel from Steve and followed her to the front door
"She needs this parcel here, just let me go give it to her and then I'll go, okay?" he told her as he went to open the door
Suddenly Mandy snatched the parcel away and angrily kicked John in the bollocks!
"Fucking hell!" he squeaked as he fell to the floor in pain clutching his bollocks with a pained expression on his face. Now he had way more than just a broken heart to deal with
"I tell you what, I think Our Kayleigh dodged a friggin bullet with you. Are you a man or a mouse, eh? I told her you were no friggin good and I was right! You're a bloody drip! Now take your shitty parcel and get lost!" ordered Mandy angrily, she shoved the parcel back into his hand
Bent over from the pain in his bollocks, John slowly got up and staggered over to Steve and gave him the parcel back. "Keep hold of that parcel mate. Make sure she opens it. As soon as she sees it, she'll know" John repeated his words then staggered back to his car and drove away, Kayleigh on his mind again
Steve looked curiously at the parcel in his hand while Mandy rolled her eyes and made clear to him her dislike of John
"What Our Kayleigh ever saw in that bellend, I'll never know. She doesn't half pick em" she sighed as she went back inside the house
When she had gone Steve couldn't resist a sneak peek inside the parcel
"Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed when he saw what was in the parcel
Xxxxxx
Kayleigh came out of the house for work a bit later on and put on a brave face. She rolled her eyes when she noticed Steve
"Morning love" he smiled
"Hiya" she forced a smile, Kayleigh didn't really like talking to Steve, all he did was bang on about motorbikes
Steve pretended he didn't know what happened. "John not taking you to work today?"
Kayleigh huffed. "Don't friggin talk to me about him"
"Trouble in paradise?"
Kayleigh didn't look impressed. She crossed her arms
"Here, have a look at this" he said, gently tapping her arm
Kayleigh looked confused as Steve showed her a brown bag. "What's that?"
Steve repeated John's words knowingly. "As soon as you see it, you'll know. Here, take it. It's for you" he smiled as he gave Kayleigh the parcel. She looked at him and snatched it away
"Why can't you just effin tell me what it is?" she snapped
"Why don't you just open it love, then you can see for yourself? I don't think you'll be disappointed"
Kayleigh rolled her eyes, looked at the parcel and put it in her bag
"This better not be from John. I mean it Steve. Cos if it is-"
"John? Why would it be from John?" he lied
"I know he's been here this morning, I'm not a fool. I've got eyes, i saw him through the window. If this is from him, i don't wanna know what it is"
"At least have a look inside love?" Steve tried to encourage her, he knew what was inside
Kayleigh sighed
"I'll think about it" she said as she set off for work
"See ya love" he called
Xxxxxx
John had arrived to work. He was still nursing his bollocks, though the pain had nearly gone away by now, and he was still thinking about Kayleigh. Thinking about how he's gonna get another chance to tell her how he really feels about her. Thinking if she's gonna be at work today for him to get that chance. As well as that he wondered whether she would get his parcel
As he went in to work he was tapped on the shoulder by one of his workmates, Barry
"Alright John?"
"Barry" he mumbled
"Where's your bird?"
"Eh? Come again?"
"Your bird. Kayleigh innit? That lass off promotions"
John sighed
"She's not me bird, alright?"
"Not your bird? After that message?! Thought you'd be coming in, holding hands, quickie against the smoking shelter"
John acted like he didn't know what he meant, he must have heard his radio message
"What message ya fucking tool! See ya!"
John walked away. Barry called after him
"See ya loverboy! Nobody puts Kayleigh in the corner! Everyone knows you know, everyone's talking about it. Me and Rick and Gareth, we were having a right laugh about it before in the bogs, taking the piss outta how soppy you were"
John was embarrassed. "Well that's just great. Every fucker knows I love Kayleigh. What a day this'll be"
Xxxxxx
As John entered the supermarket Dave Thompson came over to him
"Morning John"
"Morning Dave"
"I see you're on your own this morning, I'm very glad about that"
"Oh aye?" John was confused
"Yeah. After the rumours I heard, the rumours going round the store about you and Kayleigh Kitson, it's great to see that she's not dragged you down to her level and you haven't let her get her claws into you. She's a really bad influence that one. Looks like you've finally told her no, and stopped your wee crappy little car sharing. I couldn't be happier John. And there I was, thinking you would end up sucked into her wee world. How wrong I was John"
Dave decided to make up a lie about Kayleigh, he really hoped she would quit her job but had no idea what happened between the two of them yesterday
"Also from what I've heard, sounds like she's gonna hand her notice in before the end of next week, so you can go back to giving it 110%. No more distractions now"
John's heart sank and his face fell
"When did she say that Dave? She can't just go, she's on me bloody Christmas team!"
"Oh, I heard her say something to Elsie off deli about it. A few days back now. Said something about how she can't be arsed with working in this shite store. Said she was getting sick of doing samples, 2 for 1 dairylea dunkers, or some shite like that. Probably didn't even realise what she said though"
"What you mean?"
"Well, she's not the sharpest tool in the shed that one John. Daft cow's a wee bit slow on the uptake, if you ask me-"
John was getting annoyed with Dave's mistreatment of Kayleigh. "Well I didn't ask you Dave did I?"
Dave continued insulting Kayleigh
"She's a wee bit…scatty. Remember that incident with the fruit and veg that time, she really showed herself up then-"
Listening to Dave insulting Kayleigh made John's blood boil. There was no way in hell he was gonna let Dave Thompson slag off the woman he loves. He had to say something, but he didn't know what
"She's a nice lass is Kayleigh Dave. She's funny, sweet, she's got a lovely face, beautiful smile…"
Dave gave him a very serious look and John stopped himself
"See this is exactly what I'm worried about. The way you talk about her, like that. I don't know why you'd even consider getting involved with someone like her, you're better than that. I don't even know why I hired her in the first place, her looks I think that was it. She's a lovely looking woman John as you say but that's all she's got going for her. She's thick as pigshit!"
"Gotta go Dave. Got some paperwork to fill out. See ya"
John walked away as he was both embarrassed and angry. He decided to text Kayleigh
Xxxxxx
Kayleigh had showed up to work but she wasn't her usual self. Elsie had noticed too, but she didn't realise how hurt, rejected and upset Kayleigh really felt. She had no intention of opening the parcel Steve gave her before work
"Now now, Kayleigh love, you know I'm not one to gossip" Elsie said tapping her nose
"But what has affy happened between youse two? Youse and Mr Redmond. After what I heard on the radio yesterday, and today youse not even mentioned him. But I'm saying nothing"
Kayleigh rolled her eyes
"You always say something Elsie"
Elsie nodded at her friend
"That I do Kayls. But it's still a bit fishy. Fishier than that affy stinky fishman Stink Ray, oh he smells rough as arseholes"
Kayleigh shook her head and sighed. She really wasn't in the mood for Elsie's stupid comments
"I don't need this"
Kayleigh's phone buzzed which made her jump. It was a text from John
Hey. Where are you xx
Kayleigh scoffed when she looked at the text and saw his name. She couldn't believe John had the nerve to text her after yesterday
"So about John-"
"Elsie I don't want to talk about John." Kayleigh said firmly
"Why though lass? Did he get youse up the duff? Was he shit in bed? Has he-
Elsie whispered. "Has he got a tiny cock?"
Kayleigh was shocked. She really couldn't believe some of the things that came out of Elsie's mouth. But she didn't say anything, she just thought, frigadig that's disgusting saying that
"If he got youse up the duff can I be godmother?"
"Nothing's happened between us"
"Oh it has. I'm not green you know. Youse lost your sparkle Kayleigh lass"
Kayleigh's phone buzzed again. She didn't even have to look, she knew it was John again. Please can we talk xx
"Oh frigadig! Piss off, knobhead!" cried Kayleigh angrily. She stuck 2 fingers up at her phone
Elsie was taking everything in
"Whose keep texting ye? Oooh is it Mr Loverman, John?"
Kayleigh started to get really annoyed with John texting her
"I wish he'd eff off, knob rash. Effing sexual harassment is this"
Elsie patted Kayleigh on the shoulder
"He wants to talk to ye, Kayleigh girl"
Kayleigh looked at her phone for a moment. She would never admit it to anyone, not even to herself, but she thought it was quite sweet that John kept texting her. She acted tough in front of Elsie though
"I told him yesterday I was getting out of his life, why the eff won't he get out of mine?"
"Just text him my lovely" encouraged Elsie
"You are joking me. Can you believe he's put 2 kisses at the end as well? Sarcastic pig"
Elsie smirked but Kayleigh wasn't happy
"I don't see what's so effin funny Elsie"
"Well what's he said? Nobody puts Kayleigh in the corner"
Elsie winked at Kayleigh. Kayleigh whipped her head round and gave Elsie her full attention
"What you saying that for, why would he say that? I know exactly what he thinks of me" she said sadly
Elsie laughed knowingly. "Wouldn't ye like to know?"
Even though Kayleigh kept telling herself she hates John and he broke her heart, she couldn't help wondering what Elsie's comments meant. Nobody puts Kayleigh in the corner, did John really say that?
Finally she gave in and texted John back:
What do you want?
Not even a second later John texted her back:
We need to talk Kayleigh. Just the two of us xx
Elsie was being a nosy cow, reading over Kayleigh's shoulder. She teased her friend and started singing
"Just the two of us, we can make it if we try-"
"Not now Elsie"
"Maybe I should open that parcel after all..." Kayleigh thought to herself
Xxxxxx
John had just finished some paperwork and was desperately waiting on a reply from Kayleigh. "Great, she hasn't even texted me back yet. That's it, I've lost her again. You've fucking blown it Redmond! Christ, I hope she got me parcel!"
John yelled loudly without even realising. Another one of his workmates, Rick, heard everything he said and came over to wind him up
"Texting the missus are ya? You're like a lovesick puppy John!"
John didn't even realise anyone was listening. He blushed and turned away
"What you on about?"
Rick grinned
"You know exactly what I'm on about! Been up there yet eh?" he laughed
"Go take a running jump, cloth ears!"
"Oooh touched a nerve? Wasn't me who declared me love on the radio was it?"
"Are you on glue?" John asked him. "What's up, you had a barney with your Donna or summat? Taking it out on me are ya?"
"You're a right soppy get you John"
"Eyup you can't say frig all to anyone about being soppy Rick, at least i didn't get dressed up as Mrs fucking Brown!"
"Nobody puts Kayleigh in the corner. Ring any bells does it?"
The usually calm and quiet John started to get really angry
"I tell ya, if you don't fucking shut it-"
"Are you fucking starting Johnny boy?! Eh?!"
"Yeah, and I'll fucking finish it an' all!" John yelled at Rick who goaded him into a fight. John shoved Rick and nearly punched him before Dave Thompson ran over to break them up
"Whoa whoa John, what's all this?!"
"That silly twat, that's what. Pushed me too far, Dave, I ain't frigging having it!"
Dave looked at John and furrowed his brow. "I suggest you go take a break John. Cool off"
John nodded and went outside. Perfect opportunity to think about what he needed to say to Kayleigh. He got into his car, it still smelled like her. A tiny tear rolled down his face, he rubbed it away and slammed his head onto his steering wheel. He turned Forever FM on
"You're 'avin a laugh" he said to himself as he realised what the song was
The song playing on Forever FM at that moment was Pure and Simple, track 2 on Now 48, the song that Kayleigh told him to play, the one that reminds her of him, the one that he didn't want her knowing he had been playing on repeat when she wasn't sitting in the car next to him
#Wherever you go, I'm gonna be there
John became really upset by the lyrics
"But you're not 'ere Kayleigh are ya?!" he yelled loudly
He was on the verge of tears as the song ended
#Pure and simple, gonna be there
"Pure and fucking simple my arse! There's fuck all simple about it! Why aren't I man enough to just tell her, why do I have to rely on Forever FM, shower of shit! Elsie were right about me, I am a manboy"
John decided to ring Kayleigh since she still hadn't texted him back, but wasn't sure she would reply. "What harm can trying do?" he thought to himself. He pulled out his phone and looked at his screensaver. Him as Harry Potter, her as Hagrid
"Fucking Hagrid!" he laughed
Then John looked at Kayleigh's face and smiled. "But she's still so beautiful. Even with that big itchy beard on her, she's still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I just hope I can get a chance with her again"
He dialled her number
Xxxxxx
Kayleigh's phone rang, snapping her out of her thoughts that maybe there was still a chance for her and John. All she could think about was what Elsie said earlier, about putting her in the corner and she still had the urge to open the parcel in her bag but kept resisting
"Hello?"
"Hiya"
Kayleigh's tone was frosty. It was the first time she'd heard John's voice since she got out of his car
"What do you want?"
"Well, uh… I um, I heard a song. It uh….reminded me of you. Track 2 off Now 48"
Kayleigh secretly smiled at the phone. John wasn't sure what to say next
"Are you at work today Kayleigh?"
Kayleigh paused. "Yeah. So what if I am" she said coldly
"Can we talk? Please. I'm in me car. Bloody stinks of you, your perfume. Miss Jade Goody"
Kayleigh let her guard down and giggled
"Cheeky"
John smiled. "Are you, uh…you alright?"
Kayleigh didn't reply. John needed to tell her how he felt, now more than ever
"Look, there's- there's something I need to tell ya, that I should have telled ya yesterday, ok?"
Kayleigh looked hopefully at the phone but her tone stayed frosty, she hadn't forgotten what happened yesterday
"Trying to get back into me good books now after making a show of me yesterday? It's not gonna work John"
"Kayleigh…just come get in me car and we'll have a heart to heart. I promise I'll be honest"
"Heart to heart? Honest? You be honest? You don't know the meaning of the word you knob rash!" she yelled
"I do try to be honest you know Kayleigh. I just find it hard" he admitted
"I…I'm busy John" she lied. She was on a long break today, as there wasn't really much for her to do and she didn't feel up to it anyway. She felt like sacking it off. Other colleagues had noticed the state she was in when she arrived that morning and offered to help her out
"Well what you doing now?" he frowned
"I'm giving out samples"
"What, piss samples? You piss throwing psycho!"
"Oh shut it will ya you big gay mute!"
They both laughed briefly as they remembered their first car share together. John was so happy to hear Kayleigh's laugh again. His tone turned pleading
"I wanna see ya. I miss you ya know"
Kayleigh sighed. Before he could say any more she ended the call
Xxxxxx
Minutes later Kayleigh came to the car. John opened her door and smiled, but she got in, crossed her arms and ignored him. John broke the silence after a few minutes thinking of what to say
"You okay?"
Kayleigh scowled at him. He could see the hurt on her face and his heart sank
"What do you think?"
John gulped. "You really hurt me ya know, when you got out of me car. I didn't know what to do"
Kayleigh's voice was thick with sarcasm, she couldn't believe he was still thinking about himself after what he had done to her
"Awww bless you" she tutted sarcastically
She tried so hard to fight back the tears but her voice cracked
"You broke my heart John"
John felt like crying when she said that. He never wanted to hurt her, he'd never seen her look so upset
"I never meant to hurt you Kayleigh, it was the last thing i wanted that, i hate seeing you so upset, it makes me upset too"
"Well you weren't bothered yesterday, were you? You didn't even bother going after me-"
John winced at the memory. "Well that's cos I'm a bloody idiot. I just froze up. I...i didn't know what to do yesterday when you left me car. It were killing me inside when i watched your beautiful friggin face walk away. When Elsie said i were a manboy, she were right, can't believe I'm saying that, but she were. You're the best thing that ever happened to me you know that"
A single tiny tear rolled down Kayleigh's face. He went to wipe it away but she stopped him
"Don't. Don't touch me John. Get your hands away from me"
"I'm sorry" he said weakly. "I'm not used to seeing you like this you know"
Kayleigh nodded at him sarcastically. "I'm not normally like this. This is cos of you John, that i'm being like this. Oh yeah, and i'm sorry too. Sorry I ever started car sharing with you"
"Look-"
"Sorry I cried over you" she spat. "I didn't mean to fall in love with you John, it just happened. I don't believe a word that comes out of your mouth anymore John. I'm the best thing that ever happened to you, as if!" she scoffed
"You are" he replied. "You're me best friend, me car share buddy, me girlf-"
John was just about to say Kayleigh was his girlfriend but she cut him off
"You'll say anything to keep me in the car John, anything. And why, so you can make a fool out of me again? Let's just forget about it"
"No let's not forget about it Kayleigh! Please let me-"
"You had your chance to say something yesterday John. You had plenty of chances yesterday. Why am i sat back here again anyway? I must be frigging mental" Kayleigh shook her head and moved near the door to get out
"You're sat back here Kayleigh cos you know as well as me that you and me have got something worth saving, whether you want to admit it or not" he answered boldly
Kayleigh was shocked. She never expected him to say something like that. She softened a bit, looked at him and paused. "What? What did you just say?!"
"Yeah. We've still got a spark, you and me haven't we?" he said softly and clearly. Kayleigh tilted her head to the side and let her guard down again
"Come on tell me" she said meeting his gaze. "I'm still here, if you want me" she moved closer. "Come on, I'm waiting. Do you want me or not?"
He had a desperate urge to tell her he loved her at that moment but fear took over again, just like yesterday, and he bottled it
"You know...I-" he stuttered and couldn't finish the words
John froze. Kayleigh huffed in annoyance and went to open the door to get out. "Didn't realise you played games with women John. Is this why Charlotte left? Think i should have listened to Our Mandy after all. She had you sussed. I loved being your car share buddy John. Well i did at first anyway."
As Kayleigh opened her car door his eyes widened in fear as he was reminded of yesterday and he started panicking and quickly grabbed her arm to stop her leaving
"No! You're not getting out of me car! Not again! I'm not losing you again Kayleigh!"
Kayleigh turned to him and slowly closed the door. "I can do whatever I want John. Do you know what it is you want yet?" she said coldly, resisting the urge to glare at him. "Go on then, give me one good reason why I shouldn't just get out right now" she said raising her eyebrows
"Cos I...need to talk to you"
John moved and gently touched her hand where it rested on her knee. "Kayleigh…i'm sorry about, ya know, what happened. When I said you live your life in a fairytale, I didn't mean it, you know that. Please, don't go. I couldn't bear to lose you again"
His hand started tenderly caressing her hand. Her eyes widened and her heart started beating really fast. She bit her lip and stared out of the window. She knew she couldn't carry on being so distant with him, deep down she knew they had to talk and be honest with each other
She was wondering whether to ask him about nobody puts her in the corner, if it was true what Elsie said or just a stupid rumour going round but John snapped her out of her thoughts
"You're not handing your notice in are ya Kayleigh? That's what Dave said you were doing, he said you'd be gone by the end of next week. Did you forget you're on me Christmas team?"
"Why would you care, if I was gonna quit?" she scoffed
"Don't be daft, course I care. I care about you Kayleigh, even if you don't believe me. Did you get me parcel?" he asked
"I knew it was from you" she muttered under her breath in annoyance
"Yeah I got it. It's been in me bag all day. Did I open it? No. Am I gonna open it? No chance"
"Well maybe you should" he replied. "I promise you won't regret it"
Kayleigh looked at him curiously. She paused for a minute thinking what to say next. She was sure John was close to telling her what she needed to hear. She told herself she hated him for what happened yesterday but deep down she knew she didn't mean it
"John?"
"Yeah, Kayleigh?"
Kayleigh took a deep breath
"This is a heart to heart, or at least it's meant to be. And I keep- I keep going back to this- thing, in my head. This has been in my head since...since it nearly happened"
John turned to her. "What you papping on about?" he frowned
Kayleigh gulped. She would feel so humiliated if she was wrong. "Remember the other night after the work party, and I was fluffy drunk?"
"You mean funny drunk!" he laughed. "Yeah go on, I remember. Can't seem to get that night out me bloody head"
Kayleigh looked down to try and hide a little smile when he said that. "In your car, before my phone rang, was you...would you have kissed me if my phone hadn't rang? Cos i thought...you was going to. But...then again I was fluffy drunk so maybe I imagined it"
"Yeah. I would've done, yeah" he told her honestly
"Why would you have done that? I thought you said we were friends"
"Well we are aren't we?"
"You don't kiss your friends John" she said while looking at him seriously
"Well you weren't gonna say no were ya? You wanted it to happen, and I wanted it to happen. I still do you know"
"Don't say it if you don't mean it!" she cried
"I do mean it. I mean every word. There's a reason I drive an extra 90 minutes out me way, everyday you know"
"And what's that? What's the reason John?"
"I told you didn't I? Some things are worth going out your way for"
"Frigadig maybe he does feel the same after all!" Kayleigh thought to herself, but she didn't want to get her hopes up in case she was wrong. Everytime she thought about what he just said to her she kept doubting herself
"Is it true?" she asked after a long pause
"Is what true?"
"Did you say nobody puts me in the corner? Elsie said you did, did you mean-"
John and Kayleigh shared a moment, just gazing into each other's eyes. John surprised himself with how direct he was
"What do you think it meant? Eh?"
Kayleigh looked at him pleadingly. She didn't want to guess, she just wanted him to say it, she wanted him to tell her. "John...please just- tell me. I don't want you to lie to me, i just want you to be honest with me John, I just...want to know"
"You know what it meant" he whispered. "Don't you?"
They continued gazing into each other's eyes. John and Kayleigh leaned closer and started kissing but after a few secs Kayleigh stopped herself and pulled away, self doubt filling her mind. John looked disappointed as she broke the kiss
"No…" she moaned softly as she pulled back
"What you doing babe?" he asked
Kayleigh suddenly became hysterical
"No! Don't call me that John! Please don't call me that! How do I know you want this? You're messing with my head John. I just- don't know if I can believe anything you say anymore. I'm not having you mess me about John, I'm not having it!"
John's voice softened. "Course I want it. I think the world of ya. I imagined meself….running over cars to get to ya" he admitted. "That's how much you mean to me"
He tried to kiss her again but she pushed him off, turned away and crossed her arms
"Why can't you say it then? If you really want me why can't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me yesterday when I needed to hear it? Why can you imagine doing it but not actually do it? I'm just wasting me time here! How many more times John I haven't got time to waste!"
John sighed. "Look, I'm no good at this sort of thing, alright? I telled you that yesterday. I cant express meself very well"
Kayleigh's face softened and she looked at him sympathetically as he continued
"it's not my fault. I'm sorry. I'm better at actions than words. And this feeling, it scares the shit outta me, cos it's so strong and I just- don't know how to deal with it. I've never felt like this before, not even with Charlotte"
"But I poured my heart out to you John! That was your chance to be honest, to tell me you felt the same John!"
John raised his voice. "Just cos I didn't say it don't mean I don't feel it ya daft cow!"
Kayleigh was desperate for him to say the words. She was getting really impatient now
"Tell me John, for once in your life, tell me how you feel! I need to know John, I need to know now!" she cried
"I did tell you. I told you in my own way, then Forever FM played your song. My request. Why d'ya think I kept turning it up. I wanted you to hear it, and if you'd stayed in me friggin car one more minute, you would have known exactly how I feel about you. When I was texting I was doing it for you Kayleigh. I said it first. Now can you get that parcel out your bag and please for the love of god, open it. I wanna see your face when you see what's in it. Then you'll know"
Kayleigh pulled the parcel out of her bag and finally opened it. She got the shock of her life when she saw what was inside. John smiled at her reaction
"What the-" she didn't know what to say
It was a heart shaped frame with a picture of John and Kayleigh looking happy together with the words "I love you" carved into it
"Me and you. Ordered the picture frame off Amazon about a week ago. Didn't come til yesterday, even though i fucking had it ordered on express delivery, they took their bloody time, shithouses. Me nana had to wait in for it"
Kayleigh's eyes filled with tears, she put her hand over her mouth and didn't know what to say for once
"What do you reckon to that then, eh?" John laughed, hoping she would laugh too. Instead Kayleigh was crying again
"What you crying for?" he asked concerned
"I missed what you said on the radio. If I hadn't got out of your car- no I'm sorry. I'm just being silly"
She sniffled. He smiled
"Yeah, you are being silly you silly woman"
They both laughed at the same time and smiled at each other. Kayleigh tried to stay calm but couldn't stop sniffling
"But John if I hadn't left your car- I'd have heard it and we'd have been together by now"
John moved closer to Kayleigh and stroked her face and hair while gazing into her tear filled eyes. Tears streamed down her cheeks like a river and he gently wiped them away with his thumb. Her eyes were wet and wide and hopeful as she looked up at him
"Hey. We still can be you know Kayleigh. It's not too late"
They gazed deeply into each other's eyes
"But I thought you were happy on your own" she said sadly
"I used to be. Now I'm only ever happy when I'm with you" he replied
Kayleigh melted at his words. "Awww"
"Kayleigh, you drive me fucking crazy, I can't stop thinking about ya. No woman's ever made me feel like this before. I've loved, but I've never been in love. Til now"
Kayleigh looked at him seriously. "What you mean til now. John…"
John smiled warmly at her. "You make me laugh, you make me happy. And you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. In other words..."
"What you trying to tell me John?" Kayleigh squeaked excitedly, she knew what he was going to say before he finally said it
"I love you Kayleigh Kitson. So, so much"
"Oh John! John! John!"
Kayleigh squealed with delight. They gazed deeply into each other's eyes and shared their first kiss. John wrapped his arms round Kayleigh's waist, Kayleigh flung her arms round the back of his head. The kiss was long, passionate and deep and they moaned against each other's mouths. Neither of them wanted it to end. After a while Kayleigh broke the kiss for air and rested her forehead against John's, she held him close and loved the feeling of being in his arms
"That was magical. Wasn't it John?" she squeaked happily. "That was just like I imagined it would be"
"It was. I enjoyed that" John grinned
Kayleigh smiled sweetly and planted a cheeky kiss on his cheek. "Here's a bit more where that came from Jonathan"
John blushed. "Give over will ya woman!" he laughed
"So what is us now then Jonathan? Not just ex car share buddies I hope"
"Don't be smart. You're me girlfriend aren't ya. I think soon we'll be bed sharing, don't you?" he raised his eyebrows at her suggestively
Kayleigh was surprised at how saucy his comment was. "John!"
"What?" he asked innocently
She couldn't stop grinning at him
"I like the sound of that. I love my picture frame by the way, I'll have that in my box bedroom, it can replace my heart lamp. I'm sorry I broke it John. I think I broke it cos you broke my heart, I just thought might as well break my own heart the one that you got me from another shop"
"Kayleigh you're babbling. Stop babbling"
"Oi, you cheeky rat!" she hit his arm playfully. "I'm sorry. I just talk a load of shit sometimes, you should know that by now. Do you forgive me, for talking a load of shit?"
John looked at her. "Do you forgive me, for nearly fucking everything up and losing you forever?"
"If you don't know I'm not telling you. Course I forgive you you big idiot!"
"Aye, that I am. I am definitely an idiot me. I proved that when I nearly lost you Kayleigh"
"Well you can be, sometimes. The way you react to some stuff, like getting road rage in a safari park, or getting pissed off when that bloke put his water bottle on top of your car, i'm like whaat, why would you get angry about that! But you're my idiot John Redmond"
John smiled at her. "Aye. How d'ya fancy coming to see Compendium do a gig in a gymkhana in Clitheroe tomorrow, seeing as you're now my bird, as Jim would say?"
Kayleigh smiled at him sweetly. "Awww that'd be lovely, I'd love to! Who's Jim?" she looked at him curiously
"You know, me bandmate"
Kayleigh crinkled her nose in disgust
"Oh frigadig no not him John. Isn't he a bit of a pervert? You said he's always on about women, and what he'd do to them"
"Eh?! You what! Jim ain't a bloody pervert Kayleigh! He's a ladies man that's all"
"Well he better not be trying anything with me. I'm a taken woman now"
"He won't get chance, while I'm around. You up for it or what? Was thinking of showing you off to all and sundry"
"Yeah that sounds good to me Jonathan"
Kayleigh rested her head on her new boyfriend's chest and he wrapped his arms round her and kissed her hair
"Come back to mine John. Stay over. The bed sharing can start tonight" Kayleigh winked suggestively. John smirked
"I like the the sound of that you naughty girl. But what about work?"
Kayleigh rolled her eyes. "Oh work schmurk. I'll give you plenty of work to do Jonathan when we get back to Our Mandy's" she giggled playfully
Kayleigh laid her head on his shoulder and took his hand. "I love you John"
"I love you too" he replied. "Nobody puts Kayleigh in the corner" he said softly as their lips locked passionately
The end
writer notes:
hope you liked it!
Thinking of doing another John and Kayleigh story soon where Mandy and Steve find out they're together