Summary: Petunia Dursley reflects on her last encounter with her sister before her death.
Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, or anything to do with it, etc. You know the drill.
Petunia looked over the edge of the crib in the baby's room. The babies' room, she corrected mentally. The nursery now not only contained her own son, Dudley, but another child that was not her own. Harry Potter. She looked down at the sleeping child. He was her sister's son... so it was obvious that eventually he'd become part of that world. The world in which her sister Lily had grown up. They were so close before that boy from Spinner's End had come into their lives and taken Lily away, introducing her to the life of which Petunia could never belong in. Lily was sent off to a magical school, and their parents had been oh so proud. Petunia would never forget the looks of awe her parents had exchanged whenever Lily had come home with her 'O.W.' results, or something of the sort. No matter how well Petunia did at school, she'd never receive that look. Because she wasn't as special.
This had obviously caused some spite in Petunia. At first it was the little things, like ignoring Lily for a fortnight after finding out that she and that boy had read her letter from that wretched school of theirs. But as the time would pass, their relationship deteriorated and the sisters grew more and more apart. Petunia would make haughty remarks aimed at her younger sibling, and Lily would respond with cold silences that said more than a hateful comment ever could.
Petunia still partially blamed Lily for the loss of their parents, which had come because of 'Death Eaters' as the wizard man (from some Ministry) had told her. They had a rather fragile relationship that was often tested, but hadn't been broken. That was... until Lily's death.
She'd never hated her sister, contrary to the belief of her friends. She hadn't enough anger for that. Petunia loved Lily, as was proved every time that they managed to retain the delicate bond that only two such different sisters had.
But oh, that world she came from, the people she chose to be with, Petunia could honestly admit she despised.
Severus Snape. He always was a creepy bloke, hiding, watching them. Petunia never understood how her sister could be friends with such a boy, someone who seemed to ooze with secrets and darkness. She hadn't trusted a word that boy had said about Hogwarts, until Lily's letter arrived. Even then, she'd found it hard to believe. It wasn't until she received a reply back from the school that she knew for certain it was true...
Albus Dumbledore. Petunia remembered the name clearly, as it had been signed at the end of the reply she'd received at her request to go to Hogwarts. (Another mark of her love, she wanted to be part of the magic that lived inside her sibling, though she'd be lying to herself if she didn't admit that a part of her wanted to go to Hogwarts on her own merit as well.) She'd hated the man, because he was a testament to the world that took her sister from her, both physically and emotionally. Not only was he the headmaster of that blasted school, it was easy to see from the way Lily spoke of him, she viewed the man as a second father.
James Potter. He may have been the worst of them all.
When Lily was younger, when asked about her time at school by their mother, she never failed to mention James Potter. When she was in first year and second year, it was complaining about all the pranks. When in third and fourth, she ranted about how the boy publicly humiliated Severus, was completely arrogant, and bullied other people. In fifth year, the bloke was constantly asking her out, and in sixth year he pulled more pranks than ever, she would say.
But in the Christmas holidays of Lily's seventh year, Petunia remembered walking down the stairs (from her old bedroom that she and Vernon were staying in while they visited) to see an excited Lily standing next to a tall, messy-haired, bespectacled boy, holding hands with him. James Potter, she'd introduced him as. He'd looked at Lily then, a positively smitten expression on his face.
Petunia hadn't hated him instantly. If she allowed herself to view him without prejudice, she could even admit that he was handsome. The moment she started hating him was the day that Lily had come back after her graduation, a ring on her finger and a blinding smile on her face.
Because, as much as she didn't want to admit it, Petunia had always had hope for her sister. Hope that one day, maybe, she'd settle down with the nice, normal man, drop all this magic nonsense and be the sister Petunia had imagined she'd be when her mum told her that there was a baby in her belly. But that man, James, he was as far from normal as anyone could get. He didn't know what a toaster oven was, for god's sake. He'd been fascinated with all the simple appliances in their kitchen, questioning Lily as to their names and functions.
James Potter was not normal, and it had broken Petunia's heart to see that her sister loved him. There was no chance for her now. She'd be taken, stolen away by that magical world that had taken their parents from them. And on a cold night in October, she was. As much as it hurt to lose her to that wizard man the first time, it hurt even more for her to be gone for good. And she hadn't even properly said goodbye.
In a moment, the memories were in front of her eyes as if she was there again.
Petunia knocked hesitantly on the door of her sister's house. James opened the door, and nodded politely to her. "Petunia," he'd said, in a tone that reminded her that he enjoyed her presence as much as she enjoyed his. He stood aside and ushered her in. "Lily said you'd be dropping by. She must be in the kitchen, I'll go get her." James shut the door quickly and took out his wand, pointing it at the entrance and muttering something under his breath.
He left the living room and went to where, presumably, her sister was. Petunia took a seat on one of the large couches, folding her hands in her lap. Moments later, Lily entered the room, donning an apron, her face smudged with flour and her baby cradled in her arms. "Hey Tuney," Lily greeted casually, using the childhood nickname.
James followed, and when he came back in he plucked the child out of his wife's arms. "I'll take the little one," he said, "if we don't get the little monster down for a kip now, he'll never let us get any sleep. Not that you need any beauty sleep, love," he added, winking at her before he left once more.
Lily chuckled under her breath. "Oh, James," she murmured, putting a flour-covered hand to her face, causing the smudge to get bigger. She shook her head, and then looked back at her sister. "Would you mind if I changed out of these dirty clothes? I wasn't expecting you until a bit later,"
"That would be fine." Petunia said.
Lily took her leave of the room.
While Lily was gone, Petunia took a moment to examine the pictures around the room. There was a family photo of the three on the coffee table, and there were several other pictures on the wall. A picture of the Evans family, a picture which appeared to be James's family, as well as a picture of the couple's graduation. They were standing with three other boys whom Petunia had met briefly during the wedding. There was a picture of the wedding also, hanging proudly above the rest. Petunia noted that all of these pictures did not move, like some of Lily's were known to. She wondered why.
"We live in a Muggle neighbourhood," Lily said, as if answering Petunia's mental inquiry. She'd slipped back into the room unnoticed. "If you're wondering why they don't move. The neighbours might think they're going mad when they come over for tea and notice a picture smiling at them."
Petunia frowned. "It is a rather mad idea," she muttered.
Lily dismissed her sister's comment and sat down on the couch opposite her. "So, Tuney, how've you been? How's Dudley doing? And Vernon?" she added as an afterthought. Lily carried the same fondness of her brother-in-law as Petunia did for James. She did quite like visiting Dudley, though. He may have thrown a toy car at her, but he smiled adorably, and Lily had a certain weak-spot for her nephew's smile.
"We're all doing fine. We went to visit the in-laws last month, Dudley got sick in the car. Vernon just recently got promoted," she told her proudly.
"That's lovely," said Lily with a smile. The expression on her face grew more serious. "Petunia, there was a reason I invited you over today."
"Oh?" Petunia raised a thin eyebrow.
She sighed. "I can't really go into the specifics of it, but something's happened. I told you once before of Voldemort, a dark wizard who wants to get rid of all M- normal people, and those born from them. His people are the one's who killed mum and dad. In our world, it's a full-on war, and the casualties are heavy." Lily looked away from her sister then, leaving Petunia to wonder just how many deaths she had witnessed. "And something... something's led us to believe that he will be targeting our family next. Harry, James and I, I mean. So, this may the last time you see us for a while. We're going into hiding, and I'm not sure how long we'll be gone... But in case something does happen, I want you to know that I love you, Petunia. We may not have always gotten along, but you're my sister and I love you deeply." There were tears shining in her eyes as she finished her explanation.
"I knew it," said Petunia quietly. "I always knew that this world you chose to be a part of would get you killed." She shook her head, anger building up within her.
"Tuney, please understand," pleaded Lily, "I don't choose to be a part of this world, I am. I can't turn it off anymore than you could turn off not being magical. It was born inside of me, and it will always remain there. Even if, even if I had given it all up, like you wanted, I wouldn't be normal. I'd still have the magic, I just wouldn't be using it. But this is the life I need to lead. I love James, and I love my son, and I love so many of the friends and comrades that die, fighting for the same cause I am. They're what I fight for. You're what I fight for. Surely you want your son to be able to grow up in a world without constant disappearances and inexplicable murders?"
Petunia stood, her hands balled up, shaking. "You obviously don't love anyone enough to keep yourself alive for them! You act as if this something you have to do. We have choices, Lily, we always have choices, and apparently you're choosing wrong. You're choosing death over life, war over peace, fighting over family," she hissed, her own eyes growing watery.
Lily stood as well. "I'm not choosing death over life. I'm choosing death for life, war for peace and fighting for family. And it's not as if the attacks would stop if I didn't fight. Voldemort would still be on the brink of domination, people would still disappear, people from both the magical world and the Muggle world would still die. My family would still be targeted. I just choose to do everything in my power to save as many lives as I can."
Except your own. Petunia allowed the tears to fall from her eyes. "Why can't you, for once in your bloody life, just choose to be my sister? To forget duty, and honour, and whatever the hell it is you're fighting for, and be there like you were supposed to be."
"I am your sister," Lily responded, quietly. Her eyes were downcast.
"You stopped being my sister the day you married him."
James appeared in the room, obviously having overheard at least part of the conversation. He was looking very much like he'd enjoy taking that wooden stick of his and shoving it in Petunia's eye. "I think you should leave," he said evenly, rage barely contained. He wrapped his arm around Lily's shoulders.
"I think I should," agreed Petunia.
Lily slipped out her husband's embrace to walk her to the door. "I'll always be your sister, Tuney." she whispered softly as closed the door.
It's a little difficult to someone's sister when you're no longer alive, thought Petunia bitterly as her mind came back to the present.
She hadn't wanted to take the child in. When she heard of her sister's death, she never wanted anything to do with that wretched magical world again. But Albus Dumbledore, that man she hated so fiercely, explained in the letter why she must. Petunia was not completely heartless. How could she allow the last remaining connection to her sister, a poor, innocent baby, die? The letter had said that though Voldemort had disappeared, the baby would be vulnerable to him coming back unless she kept it. So, how could she refuse?
Petunia peered down at the baby that looked so much more like his father than his mother. There was a trace of her in his nose, perhaps. The baby opened his eyes, and Petunia saw the most prominent trait that the baby had inherited from his mother. The Lily in him was in his eyes. No matter what the boy grew to be like, he would always have her eyes, and with that, she could pretend for a moment that the whispered "I loved you, too," would reach her somehow.
And Petunia took comfort in that.