Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. Disney beat me to it.
There is no emotion, there is peace.
So she doesn't cry when she sees her best friend fall.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
So she can't be missing something important, there should be nothing she can't find out. But she watches the people she helps and she doesn't understand.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
So they do not bond in the only way the war seems to let them, animalistic and demanding serenity they can't find.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
So she's dreaming a horrible dream, and will wake up any minute now to discover the whole war was a dream.
There is no death, there is the Force.
So she stops caring about living from one moment to the next.
She is a perfect padawan. She follows her master into battle, and fights with the clones.
She ignores the little voice in her head saying that there is something wrong.
She shows no emotions and does not embarrass her master.
She hides her stash of drugs that make her dead on the inside.
She is efficient and calm.
She can barely remember what happens each day.
She knows who she is: a Jedi who will protect the galaxy.
But how can she protect a galaxy when she can't even protect herself.
She looks to the future and knows the war will end.
She doesn't look into the past to see the friends she's lost.
She stands solemnly at another remembrance for a Jedi Master who was lost.
She wonders when it will be her turn, or even if she will live to her next lifeday.
There were ten initiates from her clan to become padawans.
Now there are three, and when they see each other, no one recognizes anyone.
Her master talks about before the war, when there was peace and no clone troopers. She says it will come again.
She doesn't ask what will the Jedi do then. She cannot understand that concept of peace. It has faded.
Her master presents her to the Jedi Council, ready for her trial.
She comes to the trial of Spirit, and she sees nothing. For she is nothing and has been nothing and will always be nothing and nothing has changed.
They say she lost her mind. They mourn the Jedi she could have been.
The other padawans are jealous. Why can't the war be over for them too?
The only part of the Code that she understood was the last part: "There is no death, there is the Force."
She had not lived, she did not die. She merely joined the Force in a more permanent way.
She was a Jedi padawan in the Clone Wars.
And no one had time to mourn her loss, for the war waged on.
And she was joined by others, those who knew only fighting and violence and couldn't comprehend what the masters were saying.
And Obi-Wan and Yoda mourned the loss of the younglings who had not yet lived, and the padawans who were only beginning too.
And Master Yoda did not dwell on the massive feeling of utter relief the Force sang with when those lives were senselessly destroyed.
After all, the Jedi all trusted in the Force to guide them.
And the masters never knew of the black market in the temple. Didn't know of the drugs that numbed everyone to everything. They didn't know of the faked deaths to get away from the war. They didn't realize the resentment the younglings felt at having no say in their future at all.
They didn't realize just how many padawans had mastered the art of lying, of acting alright.
And if they did? They wouldn't understand.
The three years aged the younglings thirty.