I've started a series unlike anything I've ever read on . What I've tackled is every stupid Mary Sue story I read in POTC stories. My story series will be called "AntiSue" and I will cover everything from girls running away from arranged marriages to opposing female pirate captains. But my characters will be real. They will have flaws. And they will not mess with canon.

Here you will meet Mary Goldwell, a true upper class snob. This is how an original character would deal with 18th century society.

Chapter 1

The Setup

Mary Goldwell was a brat.

Every morning Mary awoke to glorious Caribbean sunlight when her maid opened her floral print curtains.

"Good morning, Miss Goldwell," one of them would greet. Mary refused to memorize names. It would mean that she had to acknowledge some level of equality with women who were clearly inferior. She simply called them "maid".

"Maid, I expect breakfast in ten minutes. Send someone up to dress me." The servant girl, Sophia, nodded sheepishly and scampered out of the room.

"Honestly," Mary sighed, "You would think my father could afford a better staff."

Mary gazed out her window at the open water. She hated the sea; it was nasty and made her hair turn to crust. How would she ever find a suitor if she ruined her hair? No, that would not due. Maid, a different one, came in and pulled a long silk dress from Mary's closet. "Will you be attending the ceremony today, Miss?"

"Of course, maid," Mary sneered, "Are you dense? I have to find suitors." Not that I will have to find them. I am quite stunning in a corset. Maid tightened the laces of the corset a bit more than necessary. The fabric pinched Mary's back.

"Is this too difficult for you?" Mary snapped, grabbing the laces herself. The stupidity she put up with every day. She believed it a miracle that Maid could even obtain a job. A small bell rang next to her door. Breakfast was ready.

She practiced gliding down the stairs, as every noblewoman should. The smell of eggs wafted from the kitchen and made her mouth water. She found Sophia arranging eggs and soldiers on a plate of fine china.

"I hate eggs."

Sophia looked as if she was going to cry. It was her second week on the job. According to her mistress, she could not do a thing correctly.

"I-I'm terribly sorry," she stuttered, "What w-would you like?"

Mary frowned. "Stop your stuttering, maid. I never eat breakfast. Why would you even bother?" With a ruffle of fabric, Mary was already across the hall and out the front door. Today was spring festival, being the first week in May. Mary shifted uncomfortably in her carriage seat. Lower class riffraff overtook the streets, waving banners in bright colors and shouting improvised limericks. It was utter madness.

The carriage stopped abruptly in front of a large white mansion. As Mary descended, a peacock strutted in front of her. "Oh how marvelous," she whispered in delight. In careful, calculated steps, she trotted around the house and into the courtyard. Women suffocating in tulle and men with enough brocade to decorate a parade float mingled in the garden. Mary smiled. This was her society.

She tipped her perfectly curled head towards a group of leuitenats. Her main conquest, however, was the Admiral himself. He was a tall, lean man with deep brown eyes and hair to match. Mary shuddered in delight at the prospect of marrying a fine man like him. He was pride of the town, and all she wanted to be the shining trophy on his arm.

Too bad a gaggle of twittering idiots was surrounding him at the moment.

Mary took long graceful strides towards him, maintaining a perfect elegance. She stood on the outskirts of the female admirers and simply said, "Oh my! There appears to be a rat under your dress, Janine."

The women erupted in shrieks and scattered like the cowards they were. The Admiral's gaze fell upon her. Excellent.

"Lovely day, wouldn't you say, Admiral?" The words slid off her tongue like sweet honey.

The Admiral allowed a small smirk. "Now that the rodents have cleared the garden, I would say this day is quite lovely."

"I couldn't agree more, sir," she replied.

"Given the good humor of this weather, would you allow me a walk with you around the mansion? I should fancy to see what Governor Grant has installed since my last visit." The Admiral held out his arm. Mary intertwined hers with his, feeling completely at ease.

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Her walk with the Admiral had been fantastic. She was clever and coy. Any day she should recieve a marriage proposal or at least an invitation to dinner.

Sure enough, the following Tuesday, Miss Goldwell had a sizable rock attached to her finger.

"Pure gold, aquamarine, and diamond," she gloated at her afternoon tea. The ladies visibily leaned towards the sparkling gems greedily.

"How ever did he propose?" Janine asked snidely. She was still upset over the rat incident.

Mary turned her smug gaze towards the slightly hook nosed girl. "The Admiral talked with my father and then approached me with a bouquet of flowers. You probably saw them on your way in."

"Must have missed them," Janine sniffed.

"No matter," Mary continued, "We are to commit ourselves in the coming months. Father wants to wait until October, when the weather is more fair."

"Do you have a dress yet?" someone squeaked.

There was a long suspenseful silence. Everyone watched Mary pick her nails. "Missus Johnson is designing it."

The room burst into excited whispers. "Betty Johnson. The Betty Johnson."

"Is there any other?" Mary smiled slowly. She couldn't have exuded any more arrogance if she tried. This was the peak of upperclass society and she intended to claim the top of the mountain for herself. Well, maybe she would share it with the Queen of England. Maybe.

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As always, I love reviews.