Miguel could feel skin on his face. His sight was too blurry when he opened his eyes to see who was there.
"Carlotta?" he whispered. But it couldn't have been her. The fingers trailing his jaw were too thick, the body was too broad. Miguel thought for a moment it was a doctor, but he wasn't in white.
"No, no, I'm afraid I'm not Ms. Senillosa," said a smooth friendly voice as the fingers were pulled away.
Miguel's sight started to adjust and he took a deep breath. "Don Carlos?"
"Please, just Carlos… I hope I'm not the one that sent you here."
"What?" asked Miguel.
"The one that… pushed you over the edge…" replied Carlos.
Miguel breathed out a small tired laugh. "Firing me? No… no my life is more complicated than losing my job at the telephone company… no offence."
"None taken. I know what you mean. My life is not so simple either."
"Forgive me, Don Carlos," said Miguel, straightening the sheets of his hospital bed, "But with such a complicated life… why waste your time here?"
"Eh… Do not take insult, Miguel, but I was here for another matter. But I heard people yelling your name and I asked what was wrong… Ms. Senillosa has been here many hours. I offered to spare a little time so she and Ms. Millán could have a meal, since they won't let me in to see Lidia anyway."
"Lidia? She's injured?"
"Hopefully not too badly."
"I'm sorry, Don Carlos."
"I told you, just Carlos," he said gripping Miguel's hand. Carlos looked tired, but Miguel guessed he looked far worse for wear.
Miguel squeezed Carlos's hand to keep him from letting go. "I'm grateful that you'd come, even if it was just convenience." He started to try to sit up. "I have to apologize for my behavior─"
"No, no, no, Miguel," Carlos put a hand on Miguel's chest to keep him down. "You had an episode of convulsions just hours ago. Your heart is week. You need your rest if you're going to heal. We can't lose our best engineer."
"What? But I was fire─"
"Forget about that. I was angry. I didn't know what was going on. But I have made some terrible decisions because of love and hurt, so if your life is half as strange as mine─"
"A female friend of mine wants to be a man… Says she's not the person she's supposed to be."
"That's horrible… I could only imagine… to not feel comfortable in one's own skin."
"That's not the reaction I was expecting."
"I won't claim to be so open. She's not my friend. But I hope I'm not over stepping to say that a woman wishing she was a man, makes you know less of one."
"I didn't say it did."
"You didn't have to."
"Yeah, well," Miguel looked away from Carlos, "I dislike this insinuation that anyone actually feels comfortable in their own skin."
"Touché."
"You don't have to hire me back just because I'm having a stint in the hospital," Miguel said without looking at Carlos.
"Miguel." Miguel didn't look. "Miguel," Carlos said again taking his chin gently to guide Miguel to face him. "We were great together. I'm sorry I forgot that. Before my father died we… we were a team. I've been doing a good job of ruining all my relationships lately. But no more."
There was a serious look in Carlos's eyes that was stirring. Miguel had always liked the short moments he'd spent with Carlos. He by no mean deluded himself into thinking he was a particularly important part of Carlos's life. He was no Francisco. But he couldn't deny that Carlos made him feel so. Like he was important. He suddenly found himself picturing Carlota and Sara. The way they kissed. The way they didn't care. If they could do that, could he do such a thing? If it went badly, he could blame it on the drugs.
He reached up and pulled at Carlos's tie. Carlos moved down with the touch easily, but wasn't expecting the pull to never stop. He was plunged into Miguel's lips: a kiss, soft and chaste, yet deep and undeniable. Carlos's eyes fluttered closed for a moment, but then he pulled away.
With his jaw slack, he stared at Miguel. Miguel stared back, silent, letting the thickness of the air linger before he could bring himself to say, "I'm sorry."
"It's okay─"
"I've just been through a lot lately, I didn't mean to─"
"It's okay, Miguel, I just… I can't do this right now… I… Lidia is pregnant with my baby. At least I hope she is. She fell off the side of the building and she's fighting for her life right now. I should go. I should go see if they'll let me see her." Carlos went for the door.
"Carlos," said Miguel. "I'm not… I'm sick, I'm probably not in my right mind… what with my friend… and all her ideas…"
"Miguel, your being a man doesn't concern me if that's what you're worried about. I just can't make things more complicated right now."
"Right. Of course. Me neither. I hope Lidia is alright, and I hope the baby's alright. And I hope everything works out for you both. But um… if it doesn't… perhaps… maybe come see what I'm up to?"
"You have to get well for me to do that, Miguel. All the way well."
"I know."
"Promise me you will."
"I promise. Good luck."