Crying Hearts

'Oh, wow. I can't believe it!' cried Hannah, 'Finally, we get to be parents. It feels incredible – in seven months this small bump will become our first ever child. Wow. I feel so blessed.'

Neville nodded in agreement, blue eyes shining with unshed tears of joy. 'I feel so incredibly blessed as well, Han. I have the most beautiful wife in the world, and soon I'll have a baby too.' Hannah looked up at him, and she found herself falling in love with him all over again.

'Can you imagine him or her … I bet they'll have my hair, but your eyes. And soft, young skin. And their little smile – I bet that they'll have a dimple, just like you,' she giggled. She could see the dimple on Neville's chin as he smiled at her right at that moment.

Fingernails the size of a half grain of rice, and eyelids closed to be soon opened wide. And such tiny hands: they'll be able to wrap their fingers round my thumb, and hold me tightly, whilst I whisper nothing but truth.

Hannah smiled at the dreamy, wistful look on the fair-haired man's face. Neville loved to live in his own little fantasies. But this time, it wasn't a fantasy. It was for real. She and Neville were going to have a baby. And she had to keep repeating the fact to herself – she still struggled to believe it, for it was so wonderful, so magical, so unreal.

'Thank you,' she whispered to her husband, and she really meant it. She was thanking him for giving her their beautiful love and wonderful, unborn child.

Three Months Later

'No. No. Please, God, no.' Hannah was weeping into Neville's arms, losing control, unable to keep herself together. This was not what she had planned. She turned her head up to his, and saw the lost look on his round face. She looked away again – she couldn't stand it. This wasn't what they deserved, surely. What had they done wrong?

St. Mungo's, which Hannah normally thought of as the most welcoming, friendly hospital she had ever been to, felt strangely unfriendly and antiseptic. The harsh light that bounced off the whitewashed walls was the exact opposite of what Hannah was feeling inside of her – the unnatural brightness compared to the horrible, empty feeling which crept through her veins, as dark as the night that was beyond the window of the ward.

Hannah could remember everything that had happened over the past few hours as if it was a dream. The truly awful stomach cramps, Neville hurrying from the middle of one of his lessons to find her, the journey to the hospital, and then the news from the doctor.

The baby had died inside of her, when she was already five months pregnant.

She had been worried about it for a long time, but had always been in denial. But looking back, how could she have ignored it? The cramps had not been as bad as they had been that day, but they were still there. Hannah had often worried over the fact that the baby's heartbeat seemed irregular, and how sometimes she could hardly feel it at all. And the blood – only spots of it first, but over the last couple of days it had been a lot worse. And now Hannah had to wait at the hospital whilst the Healers … sorted it out, for the baby was still inside of her. She hated that fact the most – she would have to stay the night and deal with the pain not in the privacy of her own flat above the Leaky Cauldron, but in a horrible hospital full of people asking her questions and taking tests and promising her that everything was going to be fine.

But Hannah knew better. Everything was not going to be fine – losing a baby was not 'fine'. Not after you've spent years dreaming, months waiting, weeks deciding names. No – at that moment, Hannah's life was everything apart from fine. Hannah felt as if she would never be fine again – it didn't seem an emotion that she could handle. The emotions if she could describe her overall experience of the last few hours in one word, it would be 'shit', and Hannah wasn't usually one for profanities. Her heart was crying out, and there was nothing that she could do about it.

The young woman struggled to stop crying throughout the night, but her husband was there to comfort her. Whenever she moaned 'I'll never get to be a mother …', he soothed her with gentle words of comfort, and when she felt the overwhelming pain, he was there to tell her how brave she was. She knew that it was just as hard for him as it was for her, but he stayed so incredibly strong, and it amazed her. It was only then she realised just how lucky she was to have a husband like him. And that thought threatened to tear up her heart even more – it just didn't make sense. In a world so full of love, there was also tragedy.

The night wore on, a night longer than Hannah had ever experienced. A night full of pain and sorrow, but also full of a strange, binding love between her and Neville. She never slept once – she couldn't bring herself to: not after what had happened that day. She felt sick, overtired and utterly lost. She was ill the whole night: still in hospital, bound to the bed, unable to do anything that she really wanted to do.

Dawn broke – a weak, watery light that gently filtered through the papery blinds in front of the window. Hannah was exhausted, and from the look on his face, so was Neville. Healers came and went, promising her that it would soon be over. Hannah believed them – it was the only hope that she could cling onto – the idea that it would, eventually get better. But for now, she was trapped in her awful world. And as fat, salty tears streamed down her cheeks, all she could do was pray that her future could be better.

You were just a small bump unborn for four months, then torn from life. Maybe you were needed up there, but we're still unaware as why.

Wow! That was difficult.

This was done for:

The Pairing One Hour Challenge / Hardest Challenge Ever with NEW Prompt Options (Level M1H) - Pairing: Neville/Hannah, Word: Soft, Phrase: Dark As Night, Title: Crying Hearts, Sentence: Tears streamed down her cheeks, all she could do was pray that her future would be better.

Pairing Diversity Boot Camp Challenge – Pairing: Neville/Hannah, Prompt #29 Denial

Song Fic Boot Camp Challenge – Prompt #22 Mother, Song: Small Bump by Ed Sheeran

Minor Character Boot Camp Challenge – Prompt #42 Brave, Minor Character: Hannah Abbott