Disclaimer: I do NOT own MKR! If I did, why would I be writing fan
fiction?
A note: Umi's thoughts are in normal writing. Her diary is in between |,
like this: |diary|. Asmi forever! Anyway-Umi seems a little crazy here in
the beginning-ahh well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Umi's POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sit in my room. Writing in my diary always helps when I feel lonely. Let's read over what I just wrote, shall we?
|Saturday|
|I honestly don't know why I stayed in Cephiro.| Oh, but I do. The first sentence, and the first lie. |I have nothing here for me. Hikaru has Lantis and Eagle-though she can't see that yet, they do love her. Fuu has Ferio. Friends only provide so much comfort, no matter how close.| There's a lot of truth in those words. |Well, I do know what someone would have to provide for me. Ever since I read this quote, I know what my true love would have to be. Ahh, here it is!|
|*It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
The Invitation - Oriah Mountain Dreamer*|
That always has mesmerized me. |Well, I don't think I even know anyone that perfect.| Yes I do. |Yes I do.| I agree with myself. That's good. |HIM. He's that perfect. Always has been, always will be. I do love him. I'm just a coward, scared of rejection. His jade, no, emerald, no jade-Oh, I can't even describe them!| Why didn't I just scratch that part out? |His wonderful, magical, beautiful, sparkling green eyes. Too bad he hides them. He looks so cute, so innocent.| I am so pathetic. |I'm ass over teakettle in love with him.| Why, exactly, did I just quote my grandmother? |Ascot-I'm SUCH a coward. Why can't I tell you I love you?|
I shut the book. I'm making my self sick, and that's saying something. I feel like going swimming, so I change to my suit, and grab my diary-my 6th sense tells me to bring it. Maybe he's going to come looking for me, and read it if I leave it? Making my self sick again-I need something to wake me up like only the shock of cold water can. I race down to the garden with my diary wrapped up in my towel. Damn, it's cold out here. As soon as I reach the lake, I set my book on top of my carefully folded towel, and jump right in to the cold, crystal clear lake.
I almost scream-the water can't be higher than 40 degrees! Still-it feels so GOOD! As I'm out in the middle of the lake, I don't notice the tall, lean shadow separate itself from the wall and walk to where my towel is. The figure flips to the page where I wrote tonight's entry, but this escapes my vision. Their eyes go wide-but I can't see their eyes from here! However, I DO notice when the figure topples off the railing they were sitting on with a crash.
I shoot towards the shallow end of the lake. I'd say it was Ascot, but he's not wearing his hat-Oh SHIT, it IS Ascot. The page he was reading in my diary it open. I see a blank page on the other side, even at this distance-It must be tonight's entry! The one where I all but confessed my love to him-the ONLY one where that happened-the one that I cared the most whether he read it or not. Why THAT one? WHY?
He is just staring at me as I get out of the water. He looks so shocked-but also so HAPPY. He's starting to sort of smile, not like ha-ha- funny smile, but shock-and-awe-warm smile. I get out. My whole face is red. It's not the cold-my face is anything but. "Is this true, Umi?" he whispered. I just looked down as I dried my self off. "Well? Is it?" he repeated.
I sigh, bury my face in my towel, and nod once. "Sorry," I mutter. He doesn't say anything. What's he thinking?!? I suddenly feel warm, masculine arms around me. I look up. Why did he put his arms around me?
"Umi-I-I-I love you," he whispers into my ear. I stop myself from starting just in time-I would've broken his jaw. I can't believe it! He loves me! I want to sing, dance, shout with joy and jubilee-oh wait-I haven't said anything yet.
"I love you too, Ascot, I love you too," I say. Anybody who's read at least one romance novel can guess what happens next. We slowly lean towards each other. We get passionate. I saw the most beautiful fireworks display I'd ever seen in my entire life. It's the world's best feeling. I suddenly remember that I was supposed to have 'The Talk' with Hikaru tonight-I lost the coin toss-and just as suddenly, I don't care in the slightest, because I love Ascot, and he loves me, and all is right with the world! At least until Fuu-chan finds out I blew her off.
Well, do you like? Please review!
Spiffy 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Umi's POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sit in my room. Writing in my diary always helps when I feel lonely. Let's read over what I just wrote, shall we?
|Saturday|
|I honestly don't know why I stayed in Cephiro.| Oh, but I do. The first sentence, and the first lie. |I have nothing here for me. Hikaru has Lantis and Eagle-though she can't see that yet, they do love her. Fuu has Ferio. Friends only provide so much comfort, no matter how close.| There's a lot of truth in those words. |Well, I do know what someone would have to provide for me. Ever since I read this quote, I know what my true love would have to be. Ahh, here it is!|
|*It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
The Invitation - Oriah Mountain Dreamer*|
That always has mesmerized me. |Well, I don't think I even know anyone that perfect.| Yes I do. |Yes I do.| I agree with myself. That's good. |HIM. He's that perfect. Always has been, always will be. I do love him. I'm just a coward, scared of rejection. His jade, no, emerald, no jade-Oh, I can't even describe them!| Why didn't I just scratch that part out? |His wonderful, magical, beautiful, sparkling green eyes. Too bad he hides them. He looks so cute, so innocent.| I am so pathetic. |I'm ass over teakettle in love with him.| Why, exactly, did I just quote my grandmother? |Ascot-I'm SUCH a coward. Why can't I tell you I love you?|
I shut the book. I'm making my self sick, and that's saying something. I feel like going swimming, so I change to my suit, and grab my diary-my 6th sense tells me to bring it. Maybe he's going to come looking for me, and read it if I leave it? Making my self sick again-I need something to wake me up like only the shock of cold water can. I race down to the garden with my diary wrapped up in my towel. Damn, it's cold out here. As soon as I reach the lake, I set my book on top of my carefully folded towel, and jump right in to the cold, crystal clear lake.
I almost scream-the water can't be higher than 40 degrees! Still-it feels so GOOD! As I'm out in the middle of the lake, I don't notice the tall, lean shadow separate itself from the wall and walk to where my towel is. The figure flips to the page where I wrote tonight's entry, but this escapes my vision. Their eyes go wide-but I can't see their eyes from here! However, I DO notice when the figure topples off the railing they were sitting on with a crash.
I shoot towards the shallow end of the lake. I'd say it was Ascot, but he's not wearing his hat-Oh SHIT, it IS Ascot. The page he was reading in my diary it open. I see a blank page on the other side, even at this distance-It must be tonight's entry! The one where I all but confessed my love to him-the ONLY one where that happened-the one that I cared the most whether he read it or not. Why THAT one? WHY?
He is just staring at me as I get out of the water. He looks so shocked-but also so HAPPY. He's starting to sort of smile, not like ha-ha- funny smile, but shock-and-awe-warm smile. I get out. My whole face is red. It's not the cold-my face is anything but. "Is this true, Umi?" he whispered. I just looked down as I dried my self off. "Well? Is it?" he repeated.
I sigh, bury my face in my towel, and nod once. "Sorry," I mutter. He doesn't say anything. What's he thinking?!? I suddenly feel warm, masculine arms around me. I look up. Why did he put his arms around me?
"Umi-I-I-I love you," he whispers into my ear. I stop myself from starting just in time-I would've broken his jaw. I can't believe it! He loves me! I want to sing, dance, shout with joy and jubilee-oh wait-I haven't said anything yet.
"I love you too, Ascot, I love you too," I say. Anybody who's read at least one romance novel can guess what happens next. We slowly lean towards each other. We get passionate. I saw the most beautiful fireworks display I'd ever seen in my entire life. It's the world's best feeling. I suddenly remember that I was supposed to have 'The Talk' with Hikaru tonight-I lost the coin toss-and just as suddenly, I don't care in the slightest, because I love Ascot, and he loves me, and all is right with the world! At least until Fuu-chan finds out I blew her off.
Well, do you like? Please review!
Spiffy 3