A/N: Couldn't resist m'self. ^^; I was rereading a manga by Mikan (My
HERO!) about Hermione, chocolates, and a certain professor (it's
hilarious!) and I finally snapped and let the inspiration for this
following (freaky) story flow... I'll give you the link for the comic, but
you might want to go to h t t p : / / w w w . f r e e t r a n s l a t I o n
. c o m unless you can read/speak French/Japanese, as the manga is in
French... ^^; so cute! Yeeheehee, I was laughing so hard. *cough* right.
But I digress.
H t t p : / / g r o u p s . m s n . c o m / L a G a l e r I e d A r t d e R e m u s L u p I n / s a I n t v a l e n t I n . m s n w
There's the address. Just take all the spaces out, and you'll be fine. *^_^* that particular website also has some spectacular artwork.........
Summary: Lavender and Parvati (along with every other girl in the school) are ALL over our dearly devoted DADA teacher! Third year. But this can take place during whatever year the reader chooses. It is AU! As in, SO MAJORLY MAJOR AU that it says that AU is AU... y. AUy! HAH! I mean, err, it's AU. Right. Anyway, Hermione's had enough with all them gurlies chasen' him around, and By God she swears she will get them to lay off, even if she has to make him fall head-over-heels for her... teeheehee! This'll probably be my first and ONLY ficlet that doesn't include Sirius-chan. *glares* I hope you buttheads are happy! I'm going through withdrawal already! Okay, right. Back to the summery. Summery!: Hermione gets into a contest with every other girl in the school to see who can win their professor's heart... ALL RIGHT! I ADMIT IT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS ABOUT, BUT YOU GET THE BASIC IDEA! tee hee, couldn't resist myself! Sorry! SORRY! GOMEN NASAI GOZAIMASU! *Runs around in circles laughing like a crazed moron*
And in case you're thinking it, I haven't gone coconuts.
... Not yet, at least.
DISCLAIMER: I own anything that J.K. Rowling doesn't. How's that? No money is being made from this, and anyway, if you try to sue me all you'll get is my copy of the fifth book. *pokes OotP with magical flaming frying pan nervously* I don't know if I want to give it up or not. I dunno. Sell it on the black market.
But I digress. I like that word. Di-gress. DI-GR-ESS.
AU. Whatever year the reader chooses (though there may be references to fifth, as I'm kind of in a denial mood...). Middle of the year (Valentines Day, tee hee!). AU. OOC. AU. Whatever. HG/RL? Slash-friendly. Slash. Yaoi. Whatever! Right. HP/RW. SS/DM. Many others! If you don't like that, then GO AWAY!!!
Flames NOT welcome. *glares*
.
.
.
~
BUT ON WITH THE STORY!!!
~
.
.
.
Valentines Day was in two weeks.
And, being the love-bird-y school that Hogwarts was, every kid was out trying to get a Valentine.
Why?
Because there was going to be a Valentines Dance this year Valentines Day Night from seven to one. Everybody was required to attend unless they were either
A) In the Hospital Wing
B) At home
Or
C) Second year or under.
Every third year plus boy was scrambling unless they had a girlfriend.
Why?
Because every girl had their eyes set on one person.
And that person didn't know it. Neither did anybody else, for that matter. Only one being was aware of the fact that every female in the building was stalking Remus J. Lupin.
Others knew, or were aware of it of course. But only /one/ girl dared roll her eyes at it.
Hermione Granger.
.
~
.
Every girl in the school had a lunar chart of the full moon.
And Valentines Day Night the dance was completely full-moon-less, so Lupin was required to attend.
.
.
.
~
::DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS; THIRTY-FIRST OF JANUARY, THURSDAY; LAST CLASS OF THE DAY::
.
.
.
They ('they' being the classes Gryffindor and Hufflepuff) were supposed to be filling out three inches of parchment on Vampires.
Some of them were, actually.
But all the females (or the largest majority of them) were passing notes, giggling, glancing and blushing at a certain male (who was sitting up at the front grading papers, oblivious as Hell).
This did not go unnoticed by Hermione Granger, though. She gave a (loud) exasperated sigh, thus getting Professor Lupin to glance up at her, which in turn got every feminine head to snap down to their parchment and every mouth to zip shut.
Satisfied, Hermione gave her professor a smile, and went back to reading her textbook, as she had already finished the assignment.
He returned her smile (albeit somewhat suspiciously) and went back to grading papers. Pretty soon, the note passing, blushing, staring, and giggling were started up again.
Only this time, Hermione was somewhat included.
A girl scribbled something down and folded the small piece of parchment up until it was *tiny* and then leaned over, tapping Ron Weasly sharply on the arm. He looked up at her and glared.
'Hermione,' the girl mouthed, handing him the note. Rolling his eyes, Ron took the folded piece of parchment and gently nudged Harry (who was sitting next to him). "Give this to Hermione," He whispered when Harry looked up at him.
Harry furrowed his brows slightly, took the parchment, and leaned forward, tapping Hermione lightly on the shoulder (she was sitting just in front of him). When Hermione stopped reading and glanced back at him, he reached out his arm with the note. She reached back and took it, frowned slightly, and opened it after propping her book in her lap and glancing at Lupin (who was still politely ignorantly grading papers, brushing a stray lock of hair behind an ear.)
The note read: 'Granger,
What's up with you and Professor Lupin? Did you just purposefully do that so he would notice /and/ smile at you?
What a rotten player. There are rules in love, you know.
- Lavender.'
Hermione scrunched up her nose, took out a quill, and turned the parchment over. She wrote: 'Screw off - I did that to get the whole lot of you lust- sick hags to shut the hell up. Hermione.' And folded it up. Leaning backwards after checking Lupin again, she gave the note back to Harry, who gave it to Ron, who gave it to Lavender.
There were a few (other than Harry and Ron) watching Lavender expectantly. Hermione looked back at her and smiled almost harshly when Lavender gave her a /very/ nasty look. Harry and Ron looked quite perplexed and interested.
A bell rang, signaling the end of classes for the day. Professor Lupin stood up.
"If you don't have your assignment down, we'll finish it tomorrow and correct it in class. If you /do/ have it done, hand it in up here, please." He said in his usual polite/mild tone of voice and slight smile.
There was a great hustle and bustle (in which Hermione was the only girl who handed in the assignment) then the trio put their things back in their dormitories, and settled with their homework in the common room.
"What was that whole note-passing thing about?" Ron asked, eager to put off his potions essay.
"Oh, all the giggling and such were getting on my nerves, and when I sighed, Lavender got a bit... upset. She thinks I'm after Professor Lupin, and that I'm not playing by the rules of love."
Harry and Ron stared at Hermione, glanced at each other, and then burst out laughing.
"You and Lupin?" Ron asked once he had clamed down somewhat. "I think there's a better chance that Snape will go gaga for Malfoy..."
"Oh, I don't know about that. I think I saw him eyeing Flitwick at lunch time..." Harry said seriously, and all three of them burst out laughing again.
"But no, seriously. What did you write back, 'Mione?"
"I told her to screw off, and said that she among others was a lust-filled hag." Hermione mildly, finishing up the last of her homework. "Would you like help, you two?"
"Yes, please," Ron said exasperatedly, handing over his potions essay. "I can't think of what else to put down. Help, Hermione!"
Hermione laughed a little, reading over what he had written. "Well, you didn't do anything about Monkshood shavings or what would happen if you diced the fly's eyes instead of shred them. That'll help you a whole bunch. What about you, Harry?" she gave Ron his essay back and took Harry's. "Well, I think this is pretty good. Mention something about the moon cycle involved and you won't be failed out..." she gave it back to him.
"Why can't we just copy yours, Hermione?" Ron asked after a moment, leaning back and rereading his parchment.
"That's cheating," Hermione told him.
"Yeah, God forbid we do anything like /that/," Harry put in, and both boys were laughing, slapping high-fives, and going back to work (telling each other the answers). Hermione rolled her eyes heavenward.
"You two," she grumbled, and spotted Crookshanks in front of the fireplace. She got up and sat next to him, scratching behind his ears absent-mindedly.
"Hey, Granger,"
Hermione glanced up as about every girl present converged on her.
"What?" she asked, pulling Crookshanks onto her lap and rolling him over so that she could scratch his tummy, thus making the cat purr loudly.
"We're having a meeting. Every girl in school third year and up. It's about... Professor Lupin. Only /certain/ and /privileged/ ladies are invited to attend." Said a sixth year, narrowing her eyes slightly.
"So?" Hermione asked, suddenly feeling very deeply sorry for Remus Lupin.
"So, we understand you got a bit jealous in your last class."
"E- excuse me?" Hermione sputtered angrily.
"Oh, don't worry or bother to deny it," another girl said, smirking slightly. "We understand that you couldn't openly say you like him due to your record, Granger, but it's quite all right to have an infatuation with one of your professors."
"B- but I don't, I'd never, I'm, that's just wrong, I mean-"
"Back on subject," a third year girl interrupted. "Thing is, every girl that likes Professor Lupin is required to attend. This Saturday is Hogsmeade weekend, and after breakfast we'll all be meeting as the Shrieking Shack. If you know anybody third year up that would be interested in making a move on him, then invite her."
"But I don't," Hermione started, however, she was again cut off.
"It's rather important. If you don't attend, we'll /make/ you attend." And with that, the girls all disappeared off to dinner (along with the rest of the common room).
"What was that all about?" Harry asked, coming over to Hermione with Ron. They'd finished their homework. Hermione pushed Crookshanks off her lap and stood up.
"There's this big girl-only meeting at the Shrieking Shack this Saturday," Hermione said, perplexed.
"About what?" Ron asked curiously.
Hermione shook her head. "Never in my life have I felt more sorry for a teacher, but Professor Lupin certainly wins the grand prize."
Harry and Ron laughed again.
"Poor guy. Does he even know that every girl in the school is stalking him?" Harry asked.
"I don't think so," Ron murmured. "Maybe we should tell him?"
"Tell him what?"
"You know, that he's admired...?"
"I know," Hermione put in. "I'll go to the meeting, and if it involves Professor Lupin and something dangerous or against the rules or something, we'll tell him." She smiled. "Now, let's go down to dinner, shall we?"
"Erm, you go ahead, Harry and I are going to, err, finish up some more work." Ron said quickly, glancing at Harry.
"Yeah, see, erm, to check each other's spelling mistakes and such," Harry added quickly.
Hermione laughed. "Sure," she said, "I won't tell anyone you're up here snogging, and I'll keep people away as long as I can."
Both boys went very red.
"Okay, thank you..."
Hermione waved a dismissive hand. "Don't mention it. Now, I'm off to dinner, now... I'll bring you two back some treacle tart!"
She grabbed her wand and left.
H t t p : / / g r o u p s . m s n . c o m / L a G a l e r I e d A r t d e R e m u s L u p I n / s a I n t v a l e n t I n . m s n w
There's the address. Just take all the spaces out, and you'll be fine. *^_^* that particular website also has some spectacular artwork.........
Summary: Lavender and Parvati (along with every other girl in the school) are ALL over our dearly devoted DADA teacher! Third year. But this can take place during whatever year the reader chooses. It is AU! As in, SO MAJORLY MAJOR AU that it says that AU is AU... y. AUy! HAH! I mean, err, it's AU. Right. Anyway, Hermione's had enough with all them gurlies chasen' him around, and By God she swears she will get them to lay off, even if she has to make him fall head-over-heels for her... teeheehee! This'll probably be my first and ONLY ficlet that doesn't include Sirius-chan. *glares* I hope you buttheads are happy! I'm going through withdrawal already! Okay, right. Back to the summery. Summery!: Hermione gets into a contest with every other girl in the school to see who can win their professor's heart... ALL RIGHT! I ADMIT IT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS ABOUT, BUT YOU GET THE BASIC IDEA! tee hee, couldn't resist myself! Sorry! SORRY! GOMEN NASAI GOZAIMASU! *Runs around in circles laughing like a crazed moron*
And in case you're thinking it, I haven't gone coconuts.
... Not yet, at least.
DISCLAIMER: I own anything that J.K. Rowling doesn't. How's that? No money is being made from this, and anyway, if you try to sue me all you'll get is my copy of the fifth book. *pokes OotP with magical flaming frying pan nervously* I don't know if I want to give it up or not. I dunno. Sell it on the black market.
But I digress. I like that word. Di-gress. DI-GR-ESS.
AU. Whatever year the reader chooses (though there may be references to fifth, as I'm kind of in a denial mood...). Middle of the year (Valentines Day, tee hee!). AU. OOC. AU. Whatever. HG/RL? Slash-friendly. Slash. Yaoi. Whatever! Right. HP/RW. SS/DM. Many others! If you don't like that, then GO AWAY!!!
Flames NOT welcome. *glares*
.
.
.
~
BUT ON WITH THE STORY!!!
~
.
.
.
Valentines Day was in two weeks.
And, being the love-bird-y school that Hogwarts was, every kid was out trying to get a Valentine.
Why?
Because there was going to be a Valentines Dance this year Valentines Day Night from seven to one. Everybody was required to attend unless they were either
A) In the Hospital Wing
B) At home
Or
C) Second year or under.
Every third year plus boy was scrambling unless they had a girlfriend.
Why?
Because every girl had their eyes set on one person.
And that person didn't know it. Neither did anybody else, for that matter. Only one being was aware of the fact that every female in the building was stalking Remus J. Lupin.
Others knew, or were aware of it of course. But only /one/ girl dared roll her eyes at it.
Hermione Granger.
.
~
.
Every girl in the school had a lunar chart of the full moon.
And Valentines Day Night the dance was completely full-moon-less, so Lupin was required to attend.
.
.
.
~
::DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS; THIRTY-FIRST OF JANUARY, THURSDAY; LAST CLASS OF THE DAY::
.
.
.
They ('they' being the classes Gryffindor and Hufflepuff) were supposed to be filling out three inches of parchment on Vampires.
Some of them were, actually.
But all the females (or the largest majority of them) were passing notes, giggling, glancing and blushing at a certain male (who was sitting up at the front grading papers, oblivious as Hell).
This did not go unnoticed by Hermione Granger, though. She gave a (loud) exasperated sigh, thus getting Professor Lupin to glance up at her, which in turn got every feminine head to snap down to their parchment and every mouth to zip shut.
Satisfied, Hermione gave her professor a smile, and went back to reading her textbook, as she had already finished the assignment.
He returned her smile (albeit somewhat suspiciously) and went back to grading papers. Pretty soon, the note passing, blushing, staring, and giggling were started up again.
Only this time, Hermione was somewhat included.
A girl scribbled something down and folded the small piece of parchment up until it was *tiny* and then leaned over, tapping Ron Weasly sharply on the arm. He looked up at her and glared.
'Hermione,' the girl mouthed, handing him the note. Rolling his eyes, Ron took the folded piece of parchment and gently nudged Harry (who was sitting next to him). "Give this to Hermione," He whispered when Harry looked up at him.
Harry furrowed his brows slightly, took the parchment, and leaned forward, tapping Hermione lightly on the shoulder (she was sitting just in front of him). When Hermione stopped reading and glanced back at him, he reached out his arm with the note. She reached back and took it, frowned slightly, and opened it after propping her book in her lap and glancing at Lupin (who was still politely ignorantly grading papers, brushing a stray lock of hair behind an ear.)
The note read: 'Granger,
What's up with you and Professor Lupin? Did you just purposefully do that so he would notice /and/ smile at you?
What a rotten player. There are rules in love, you know.
- Lavender.'
Hermione scrunched up her nose, took out a quill, and turned the parchment over. She wrote: 'Screw off - I did that to get the whole lot of you lust- sick hags to shut the hell up. Hermione.' And folded it up. Leaning backwards after checking Lupin again, she gave the note back to Harry, who gave it to Ron, who gave it to Lavender.
There were a few (other than Harry and Ron) watching Lavender expectantly. Hermione looked back at her and smiled almost harshly when Lavender gave her a /very/ nasty look. Harry and Ron looked quite perplexed and interested.
A bell rang, signaling the end of classes for the day. Professor Lupin stood up.
"If you don't have your assignment down, we'll finish it tomorrow and correct it in class. If you /do/ have it done, hand it in up here, please." He said in his usual polite/mild tone of voice and slight smile.
There was a great hustle and bustle (in which Hermione was the only girl who handed in the assignment) then the trio put their things back in their dormitories, and settled with their homework in the common room.
"What was that whole note-passing thing about?" Ron asked, eager to put off his potions essay.
"Oh, all the giggling and such were getting on my nerves, and when I sighed, Lavender got a bit... upset. She thinks I'm after Professor Lupin, and that I'm not playing by the rules of love."
Harry and Ron stared at Hermione, glanced at each other, and then burst out laughing.
"You and Lupin?" Ron asked once he had clamed down somewhat. "I think there's a better chance that Snape will go gaga for Malfoy..."
"Oh, I don't know about that. I think I saw him eyeing Flitwick at lunch time..." Harry said seriously, and all three of them burst out laughing again.
"But no, seriously. What did you write back, 'Mione?"
"I told her to screw off, and said that she among others was a lust-filled hag." Hermione mildly, finishing up the last of her homework. "Would you like help, you two?"
"Yes, please," Ron said exasperatedly, handing over his potions essay. "I can't think of what else to put down. Help, Hermione!"
Hermione laughed a little, reading over what he had written. "Well, you didn't do anything about Monkshood shavings or what would happen if you diced the fly's eyes instead of shred them. That'll help you a whole bunch. What about you, Harry?" she gave Ron his essay back and took Harry's. "Well, I think this is pretty good. Mention something about the moon cycle involved and you won't be failed out..." she gave it back to him.
"Why can't we just copy yours, Hermione?" Ron asked after a moment, leaning back and rereading his parchment.
"That's cheating," Hermione told him.
"Yeah, God forbid we do anything like /that/," Harry put in, and both boys were laughing, slapping high-fives, and going back to work (telling each other the answers). Hermione rolled her eyes heavenward.
"You two," she grumbled, and spotted Crookshanks in front of the fireplace. She got up and sat next to him, scratching behind his ears absent-mindedly.
"Hey, Granger,"
Hermione glanced up as about every girl present converged on her.
"What?" she asked, pulling Crookshanks onto her lap and rolling him over so that she could scratch his tummy, thus making the cat purr loudly.
"We're having a meeting. Every girl in school third year and up. It's about... Professor Lupin. Only /certain/ and /privileged/ ladies are invited to attend." Said a sixth year, narrowing her eyes slightly.
"So?" Hermione asked, suddenly feeling very deeply sorry for Remus Lupin.
"So, we understand you got a bit jealous in your last class."
"E- excuse me?" Hermione sputtered angrily.
"Oh, don't worry or bother to deny it," another girl said, smirking slightly. "We understand that you couldn't openly say you like him due to your record, Granger, but it's quite all right to have an infatuation with one of your professors."
"B- but I don't, I'd never, I'm, that's just wrong, I mean-"
"Back on subject," a third year girl interrupted. "Thing is, every girl that likes Professor Lupin is required to attend. This Saturday is Hogsmeade weekend, and after breakfast we'll all be meeting as the Shrieking Shack. If you know anybody third year up that would be interested in making a move on him, then invite her."
"But I don't," Hermione started, however, she was again cut off.
"It's rather important. If you don't attend, we'll /make/ you attend." And with that, the girls all disappeared off to dinner (along with the rest of the common room).
"What was that all about?" Harry asked, coming over to Hermione with Ron. They'd finished their homework. Hermione pushed Crookshanks off her lap and stood up.
"There's this big girl-only meeting at the Shrieking Shack this Saturday," Hermione said, perplexed.
"About what?" Ron asked curiously.
Hermione shook her head. "Never in my life have I felt more sorry for a teacher, but Professor Lupin certainly wins the grand prize."
Harry and Ron laughed again.
"Poor guy. Does he even know that every girl in the school is stalking him?" Harry asked.
"I don't think so," Ron murmured. "Maybe we should tell him?"
"Tell him what?"
"You know, that he's admired...?"
"I know," Hermione put in. "I'll go to the meeting, and if it involves Professor Lupin and something dangerous or against the rules or something, we'll tell him." She smiled. "Now, let's go down to dinner, shall we?"
"Erm, you go ahead, Harry and I are going to, err, finish up some more work." Ron said quickly, glancing at Harry.
"Yeah, see, erm, to check each other's spelling mistakes and such," Harry added quickly.
Hermione laughed. "Sure," she said, "I won't tell anyone you're up here snogging, and I'll keep people away as long as I can."
Both boys went very red.
"Okay, thank you..."
Hermione waved a dismissive hand. "Don't mention it. Now, I'm off to dinner, now... I'll bring you two back some treacle tart!"
She grabbed her wand and left.