Title: Stupid Cupid

Author: Flora Fairfield

E-mail: florafairfield@yahoo.com

Genre: Romance/Humor

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Ginny Weasley is tired of having her heart broken, but cupid himself is not willing to leave her alone... D/G One-shot Fluffy and pointless

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot (if you can find one... ;o)). All Harry Potter's characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm just burrowing them for I bit.

A/N: This songfic is not a very serious one, so don't be surprised by the light tone. The main goal here is to make you laugh a little, nothing more. That's also why you'll find Draco and Ginny a bit OOC. As I said, don't take it serious. There's a very very very light spoiler of OotP on the fic, but it's really almost unnoticeable. Oh, by the way, if you can't recognize the song, that's because it's a Brazilian song. The translation is actually not mine. The song was recorded in English, probably a long time ago, so you're not likely to remember it.

A/N2: For those of you who read my fanfictions in Portuguese: I wrote this one when I was supposed to be working on "Todos os nossos ontens". Please, don't be mad... ;o) I only intended to publish it after TNO was done, but I just couldn't resist...

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Stupid Cupid

The night was cold and dark: just the opposite of all Hogwarts students' spirits on that rainy Halloween. That particular year, in order to celebrate Lord Voldemort's final defeat, the Headmaster had organized a costume party instead of the traditional feast and everyone — from Hagrid, with his monstrous bunny fantasy, to Mr. Filch, who had actually dressed Mrs. Norris up as a bat — was thrilled about joining in. Everyone — except a young redheaded sixth year Gryffindor.

Ginny Weasley sat alone on her bed sulking. She was all dressed up and ready, but absolutely reluctant to go down to the Great Hall. She knew for sure that he was going to be there. And she desperately wanted to avoid him.

— Come on, Ginny! It's time — she heard Hermione calling from the door.

— Do I have to?

— Oh, please, everyone's going to the party!

— Yes, Mione, and that's precisely the problem!

— Don't be silly. We all want you to be there! We're celebrating, remember?!

— I know! But I can't... I think I'm just gonna...

— Stay here? Well, okay then. I'll be downstairs explaining to that thick brother of yours that his little sister can't go to the dance because she was out late lat night snogging...

— Please, don't remind me!

— ... senseless and now she wants to avoid him! — Hermione smiled sweetly — How do you reckon he'll react?

— You're really evil, did you know that? — Ginny answered, standing up — Truly evil. Wonder why you're not in Slytherin.

—  Yes, well, you sure seem to be getting along just fine with them lately...

— Oh, shut it!

— Ginny, wait — Hermione stopped the other girl before they could leave the room — Serious now: do you have any idea of how big this mess is going to be? I mean...  when Ron finds out...

— He won't! Besides, there's nothing to find out! It was a one time thing that's  just bound to be forever forgotten...

— Sure... And you want to avoid him because...?

— Because he's a git! A prat! Conceited and arrogant... a fool, a...

— Okay, fine. I'm convinced. The question is: are you?

Ah-ha cupid, see if you can leave alone
My heart that can no longer love
I loved a very long time ago
I got tired of so much sobbing

Ginny simply refused to answer Hermione's question. She just couldn't. Couldn't feel that way again... Not after what happened during her fifth year and certainly not with someone so... so... so plain annoying! She had already made up her mind: she was not going to fall in love again. Not with anyone, not ever. She was so tired of it! First, there had been Harry Potter, the childhood crush she had such a hard time getting over with. Then, there was Michael, and then Dean... And after that: Seamus. Seamus bloody Finnigan. God, how she hated him! Of course, that was now. Before, she was completely in love with him. For most of her last year she had just pinned over that guy. And he wasn't even that handsome! He had seemed really interested though, but after a while, ended up concluding she wasn't... how did he put it?... "girly" enough.

Girly enough! She had six older brothers! How the hell was she supposed to be 'girly enough'? She didn't even know what that meant. He should have been happy enough she was a girl, but no. Apparently, he wanted a 'girly girl' and not a pretty and smart one. Maybe that was it. She was just too smart. Or too pretty. Probably both. "Oh, fuck him", she decided after too much crying, "If he cannot take me, then he doesn't deserve me!"

And ever since that decision, just about four months ago, Ginny had started stating that all men are terrible and that she didn't want anything to do with them — and their insecure egos — ever again.

Needless to say, Ron had never been happier.

Hey hey! That's the end
Ah-ha cupid, go away from me

Still sulking and after much arguing with her brother about her 'inappropriate costume' — in his opinion, of course — Ginny finally reached the Great Hall and immediately wished she had just stayed at her dorm. It took her just a quick look around the place to spot him, standing there, in plain view as if he owned the damned school: the cupid himself! She couldn't help gaping. That was unbelievable.

— Oh, my god! — Hermione exclaimed hopelessly.

— I know — Ginny replied in a weak voice — Can you believe it?

— Ginny... do you reckon that... that he's trying to tell you something?

— Tell her what? — Harry interrupted — Is someone trying to tell Ginny something already? But we just got here!

— WHO? WHAT? — Ron asked as soon as he heard the conversation — I told you! You should never have come wearing this... this thing you call a costume! Now the guys are going to droll all over you and I'll have to scare them away and...

— Oh, shut it! Just leave me alone, will you? It's none of your business — she said, half-heartedly, quickly turning around to confirm her worst fear: the cupid was definitely coming her way — Oh, no!

— Oh, no what? — Harry asked, oblivious to her predicament.

— Er... I just... humm... gotta dash! — Ginny almost screamed before turning on her heels to run.

The situation had just become desperate.


I gave my heart to a pretty boy
That promised to love me and make me happy
But he left me far behind
Refused my kiss and didn't want my love

Ginny looked over her shoulder and realized that a sea of heads was now between her and the Cupid. Sighing with relief, she swiftly bent down and crawled under a table. She was going to wait until he passed her and then she could escape to the garden and, from there, to Gryffindor Tower, where he couldn't reach her.

— Er... Ginny... could I ask you what you're doing under my table? — she swore under her breath.

— I'm just hiding here, Neville-dear — she replied in a fake light tone.

— Hiding? But why? — Neville's head just appeared beside her — What happened?

— Neville! — she exclaimed angry — Go back up or he'll suspect! — Ginny pushed him away lightly.

— He who?

— The Cupid!

— The cup...? Oh! — he said, understanding dawning on him — The Cupid! But, Ginny, why the hell are you hiding from him? Has he tried anything? Has he...

— No! Oh, Neville, just, please, don't ask!

— Uh-oh — he murmured clearly concerned.

— 'Uh-oh'? What do you mean by 'Uh-oh'?

— I'm mean trouble. He's coming this way.

— Oh, shit! I'll just have to...

— Stay right where you are! If you move, he'll spot you.

— Double shit — Ginny swore under her breath again just before she heard his unmistakable voice:

— Longbottom — he drawled — Have you seen Weasley?

— Yes — Neville answered firmly — He just slipped out to the garden with Hermione. Sure you're looking for them? They don't seem to be needing your services...

— Oh, shut it! I've had enough of this. And besides, I'm looking for the Weasley girl, not for that ass of a brother she's got.

— Ginny? What the hell do you want with her? — Neville pretended to be surprised.

— I have thought it would be fairly obvious, don't you agree? After all, I am the Cupid — and seeing Neville's blank face, he explained with a weary sigh — I have an arrow with her name on it. Have you seen her or not?

— Not!

— Right. Should have known it's useless to ask bloody gryffindors anything anyway — Cupid answered, finally walking away with a last sneer.

— An arrow with your name on it? What the hell's going on here, Ginny?

— Oh, it was just a joke, I guess...

— You guess???

— Don't ask — she groaned crawling discreetly over a chair — Where's he?

— Reckon he went to the garden.

— Really?

— Yes.

— Oh, thank the gods! I'll just make it to the door, then. Thanks, Neville — she said getting up.

— Anytime. And Ginny...

— What?

— Be careful. Whatever it is, he's not in for a joke.


Hey hey! That's the end
Ah-ha cupid, go away from me

"Safe at last", Ginny let out a relieved sigh as soon as she was out of the Great Hall. Resting for a moment against the huge wooden doors, she couldn't help feeling a little sad, though. She didn't want him to find her — of course not! — but in a way — a kind of wicked and twisted way — she actually hoped he would.

Pulling away, she started down the corridor to the stairs that would take her back to Gryffindor Tower. That was it. She was going to lie on her bed, happy and content because all men are terrible and she didn't want anything to do with them ever again. No cupid, no arrow, no love. No. Not for her.

"If he had really found me", she tried hard to convince herself, "it would have been horrible!". Okay, so maybe not at first, but then there'd arguing and fighting and sobbing... She was so sick of it! "But on the other hand", the bolder part of her brain screamed, "he might have done to me a few more times all those wonderful little things he did with his tongue last night..."

— Oh, fuck! — she exclaimed out loud — I am so lost!

— Oh, really? — asked a light and lazy voice just near her ear, making her jump with surprise — Funny. I thought you were just on the right path to Gryffindor Tower.

— What... What are you doing here? — she said, backing away from him right into the wall. "Oh, that was smart, Ginny. Truly smart!", she thought to herself.

— Nothing big. Just waiting for an unsuspecting girl.

— Oh, really? — she pretended she didn't understand him — I guess I'll just be off then... I don't mean to intrude or get in the way...

— No so fast, Ginny — he trapped her, putting each of his hands on either side of her head — Going away from the party this early? Can I ask why?

— Yes, well... you know... I'm a bit tired...

— Yes, I do know. You should be tired, shouldn't you? — he asked hoarsely, making her blush — Are you trying to avoid me?

— No! 'Course not! Wouldn't dream of it! — she answered, a little too fast — Who would want to avoid the Cupid anyway?

— Really? You think that? Funny thing... I was under the impression you would.

— What would give you such an absurd idea?

— I don't know. Maybe you seeing me and then turning away to run... Ah, and of course: the whole 'hiding under Longbottom's table' thing...

— Oh, that was just for fun, you silly! — she answered trying hard to keep a straight face — You know? Playing hide and seek...

— I don't think so — and his voice suddenly changed from light and ironic to dangerous and lethal — Did you honestly think I'd let you get away with it — he gave a  quick glance to her costume before finishing: — Little Devil?

— Get away with what? — she was still playing "I have no idea of what you're talking about".

— With snogging someone that badly and then just walking away as if nothing had happened?

— I... well... you know... I mean... Is there a right answer to that question?

— No, not really. But don't worry, Little Devil, I'm here to fix it — he said just before his lips came crashing on hers, taking advantage of her mouth that was wide with surprise.

Very soon, Ginny Weasley could barely breathe.


I saw a heart
Tired of crying
The arrow of love
Only brings affliction and pain

"Oh, God", she groaned to herself. That was just as good as she remembered. He had lifted her a few centimeters above the ground so their mouths were at the same level and was now pushing her ever more firmly against the wall. All the while, his lips never left hers, and his tongue kept slowly making its way on every little part of her mouth. That was just heaven.

"But no!", she tried to remind herself, "Men are all terrible! All they ever do is to cause pain and confusion. This can't — just can't — be happening!", Ginny thought while she brought her arms up to wrap them around his neck and pulled him even closer. She couldn't help moaning and purring slightly and all those little noises only seemed to encourage him to move even further. Soon, she was clanging hard on his shoulders for support. He didn't seem to mind though, and just held her even tightly.

Ginny's brain was screaming 'Stop!', but there was little she could do against the stronger will of her body. She had already melted into the kiss the instant their lips met as if they were meant to be that way. Strange enough, she had felt exactly the same thing last night: she felt as if she had just found a long lost part of her own being.

They still kept on snogging for a good while. He didn't seem to have any plan or desire of letting her go anytime soon, but when his hands started to wander a little lower from their previous location — her neck and her face — blindly looking for her breasts, Ginny finally found inside herself the strength to pull away.

— No! — that was the only coherent word her mind was able to form at the moment — No no no no. NO.


But Mr. Cupid, my heart
Doesn't want to know about a new crush
Please, see if you can leave me alone
My poor heart can't take it no more

— No? — he asked, his voice still hoarse, looking as if he was trying to understand what had just happened.

— No.

— Are you sure?

— No... I mean, yes!... I mean... maybe? — she sounded completely unsure.

— Oh, shut up, Weasley — he said and again bent down to kiss her senseless.

— NO! — she stopped him.

— Is that the only word you know? Because this is really getting kind of annoying.

— At the moment, yes, that's the only word I know.

— Yes, well, too bad for you, 'cause Malfoys never take 'no' for an answer — he said sharply, finally capturing her lips in another searing kiss. Ginny had just started to lose herself in that kiss once more when she remembered something she just had to tell him:

— No, wait, Malfoy — she pushed him away — Wait!

— What? — he snapped obviously impatient.

— Don't you snap at me!

— You're interrupting me, Weasley, so I'll snap at you all I want!

— But I didn't just interrupt for no reason! There's something I have to tell you!

— Then, please, tell!

— Well... it's just... you know...

— Yes, Weasley, you're a virgin. I already got that — he said in a mechanic tone — Can we resume our previous actions now?

— Wait! That was not what I was going to say! How the hell did you know that?

— You're pretty obvious.

— I do not kiss that badly! — she was indignant.

— I never said you did. In fact, I think you're a marvelous kisser and I'd very much like to start snogging you again soon, so spit whatever the hell you have to say out or shut up for good!

— I'm not girly!

— What?

— I'm not a girly girl. Here, I said it.

— Was that what you needed to tell me? And you felt the need to interrupt the snog for that? What the bloody hell is wrong with you, Weasley?

— I'm just saying that if you want a girly girlfriend, you'd better go find yourself another one before this get too serious. Don't expect me to be girly. I have six older brothers, you know?

— Yes, don't remind me — and narrowing his eyes — Was that why that stupid Irish guy broke up with you?

— No, he got along just fine with Ron and...

— Not that, Weasley! — he was truly impatient now — Did he think you weren't girly enough?

— Yes — she answered weakly.

— Well, it's not my fault he wasn't man enough to take you. I can't say I'm sorry though.

— Oh, right... And you're man enough to take me, Malfoy? — she snorted.

— Of course I am, Weasley! Do you doubt?

— Obviously — she laughed — You're a Malfoy and Malfoys are rats, not men.

— Is that what you think? — Draco asked dangerously, pushing her up against the wall again.

— Yes — she smiled an innocent smile — Guess you're just gonna have to prove it to me then, aren't you?

— Yes, Weasley, that's precisely what I intend to do — he bent down and whispered slowly in her ear, making her shiver — Over and over again... — and once more he leaned and kissed her, this time very softly.


Hey hey! That's the end
Ah-ha cupid, go away from me

— Oh, and, Weasley — this time, Draco was the one to stop and Ginny was the one to make the protesting sounds — if you really didn't want me to notice you, you should never have worn this costume.

— There is nothing wrong with my costume! — she almost screamed — How many times will I have to say that? And besides, yours is not very good either, I mean, a Cupid? Honestly, Malfoy, did you pick it because you thought it matched your bright personality?

— Weasley, I wasn't really going to say that there's something wrong with your choice of costume, did you know that? — he asked amused.

— You weren't? — she said regretfully.

— No, I wasn't. As a matter of fact, Little Devil, I was just going to point out that I think red — and here he paused for a dramatic stop — is definitely your color — at that, Ginny smiled and Malfoy finally kissed her again, but this time, there were no interruptions of any kind.