Entry for the "Essie Nail Polish Names Challenge" - Formal Affairs
Entry for the "Pairing Diversity Bootcamp" - 17. There is nothing like a good dose of another (wo)man to make a (wo)man appreciate his / her wife / husband.
I hope you enjoy this one! It is slightly random and I don´t know if I made everything out of it that I could have... Leave me your opinion anyways :)
"Oh, minister, may I come in?"
Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic, looked up from the paperwork on his desk to face the door as he heard the high, girlish voice of his Senior Undersecretary Dolores Umbridge and made a invitational waving with his hand while he signed the letter he had been working on and put his quill aside. The pink-wearing woman closed the door behind herself as she entered and approached his desk.
"What can I do for you, Dolores?", Fudge asked and let his gaze wander over her face that was occupied by her signature smile – sweet and far to wide. He shuddered inwardly as the smile became even wider and Umbridge stood directly in front of the desk instead of sitting down in the visitors chair.
"Oh, Cornelius! I thought you would perhaps need my help... these formal affairs are making me feel a bit tensed and if I feel like that, it must be even worse for you!", she chirruped, her hands supporting herself on the polished wood of the table as she leaned forward a little bit, leaving them on eye to eye level. Cornelius felt a little bit nervous and urged himself to be warily – this woman was kind of imponderable and therefore he had never felt comfortable when she was around, but Umbridge was a hard worker and he could hardly run his office without her work dedication.
"Uhm... yeah, I have to admit that the work is pretty exhausting, but when is it not? This is the Ministry of Magic!"
"But even in the ministry it can be to much, Cornelius", Dolores purred, now walking around the table to stand right in front of him as he slowly rose, more out of carefulness then out of response. He did not liked this!
"Let me help you relax, minister!", Dolores smiled, running her fingers over his arm in a, how she thought, seductively manner and Cornelius shuddered.
"W-what?", he stuttered, making a step backwards – such a large step that he felt the wall in his back. Dolores blocked his only remaining escape way and Cornelius asked himself what had gotten into his right hand, why she was behaving so unlikely!
"Oh, you know exactly what I am talking about! You are a man, I am a woman..."
His eyes were widening and he gulped hard – was she insane? Surely she had to be!
"Dolores, about what you are suggesting..."
"Yes?", she whispered, rising to her toes, her fingers gripping his cloak.
Hell, why was it so difficult to form a normal sentence? This woman was scaring him so much that his brain was shutting down to the primeval instincts – run! But he could not move – he was like the rabbit in front of the snake. And then, then she suddenly kissed him. Cornelius immediately froze, not moving a single finger in shock. The woman seemed to be serious! He had to stop her, this was definitely nothing he wanted!
He pushed her away, finally finding the right sentences:"What is wrong with you, Dolores?!"
"Cornelius! I like it when you are so authoritative and rough!", Dolores breathed, pushing her horrible pink cardigan off her shoulders. "And how you hold yourself back all the time! But I cannot wait anymore and I am sure you can´t too!"
"Are you mad? I am sorry if you interpreted signs wrong, but I definitely am not romantically interested into you!", Cornelius squeaked, watching in horror how Dolores opened the first few buttons of her blouse.
"Ah, we are playing this game", Dolores winked and Cornelius started to believe that this had to be a bad hoax.
"N-no! This is not a game!"
"I know", Dolores grinned and forced him into another kiss. Cornelius needed a few seconds to move over the repeated shock, but then he was able to react and pushed her away even more forcefully, screaming:"What has gotten into you?! Stop doing that, I am not interested into you, I am married and I am your boss!"
Umbridge looked surprised and slightly disappointed, but Cornelius was relieved – this reaction indicated that she finally understood that he was not interested in her... whatever.
"Cornelius, I thought we had..."
"What, woman?!"
"...a deep connection", she said, looking slightly offended. "I can´t believe you are acting as if..."
"For the second time: I am your BOSS and I appreciate the effort you are putting in your work!", Cornelius snarled, shooting her a dark look while deciding that he definitely had to get her out of her office! "I insist that you go now, Dolores! We might forget this incident, it may not influence or working relationship."
He regretted saying something like 'relationship' in her presence immediately – Dolores backed up to the door, but she smiled at him with her ugly sweet gaze and winked at him before she left. Cornelius sat down at his desk and gulped, then he conjured a bottle of scotch. He needed a drink over this shock. Still he wasn´t sure that this had not been a weird hallucination caused by working to much, but it had felt far too real! Umbridge had always been... special, to say mildly, but this had gone way to far and he did not know how he was ever supposed to feel comfortable around her again.
After downing the bronze coloured liquid a idea slowly grew in his head. He had not only to get her out of his office, no, maybe it would be even better to get her out of the ministry! Cornelius poured himself another glass of scotch before pulling a piece of parchment over and grabbing his quill, writing down the words that had already formed in his mind.
One hour later, the minister released a letter sending Dolores Umbridge to Hogwarts. Shortly after, Cornelius Fudge left his office, heading home before 1 am for the first time in a few weeks. As horrible as his experience with Umbridge may have been, there was nothing like a good (or rather bad) dose of another woman (or likely a pink, insane toad) to make a man appreciate his wife.