Klaus' eyes fill with rage. He looks into my eyes and yells, "Turn it off!"
The power of an original is phenomenal. The urge to turn off my humanity is so great. I could so easily forget about all the pain of the past. All the pain of the present. All the pain I could ever cause Elena. All I have to do is stop resisting.
Why have I kept my humanity this long anyways? Everywhere I go I cause suffering to the people I love. Even when I have the best intentions in mind, everything always goes wrong. My father, Lexie, Elena, countless other innocent people. All brought into harm's way because of me. I can feel all the pain and rage building up inside me, seeking a way out. I could turn it all off. I could make it all go away. Why do I still hold on to the weakest part of my being?
How have I spent so long pushing back the urge to truly become a vampire? It's not in my nature to care. It's not in my nature to love. My natural instincts are to feed off humans, not love them. They are supposed to mean nothing to me. It's only been a few seconds but I can already feel the press of Klaus' compulsion against my emotions. Maybe it's time to give up. Maybe this is for the best.
I look up and just as I'm about to give up, I see Elena screaming at me, telling me to fight it. All of a sudden it hits me. She's the reason I've held on so long. Elena is the reason I have stayed true to what I believe in, even when giving up would have made everything easier. My humanity isn't the weakest part of my being; it's the strongest part. Love is not a weakness, it's a source of power. I focus on Elena and push with all my will against Klaus' compulsion. Elena starts crying and I push even harder. I do this for her. For Elena. For the love of my life. Every day I get to spend with her is a blessing, and I will fight for as many days as I can get. An enteral life needs an eternal love to make it worth living.
I give one final push against the compulsion, using up all the mental energy I have left. I lash out at Klaus and push him away. I lock eye contact with him and yell, "No!" Immediately I can see fear start to fill his eyes. Terror. Emotions I thought I'd never see on Klaus' face. I can feel his control over me starting to loosen. I think I've finally been able to beat him when all of a sudden the fear is replaced with something much worse. Rage. Anger. Violence. He runs at me and pushes me against the wall. He locks eye contact with me and yells, "TURN IT OFF!"
Immediately I feel the push of his compulsion against my emotions, way stronger than the last one. I look at Elena and try to fight it again, but this time it's not enough. I try desperately to hold onto all the memories we've shared, all the obstacles we've overcome. It's not enough. I feel something snap inside me. All of my pain and guilt is gone. I feel nothing. Everything is gone. I've lost. Klaus won.
Elena will never love me now, and I can't love her. I look at her and I don't see the woman I love anymore, I just hear the blood flowing through her veins. Klaus has taken everything away from me. My life here is over. I will kill him. I will take away everything he cares about, just like he's done to me. My desire for revenge burns inside me. I embrace it. It's all I have left.
I will kill Klaus.