Setting Sun (1/1)
Dedication : the usual suspects, especially to KC, tame slash but I'm working on it
Distribution: want, ask, take, have.
Disclaimer: not mine, I'm not exactly sure who they do belong to but it's not me. No copyright infringement is intended.
A.N: I love Trieze, I really do, but for this to work he had to die *sniffles*
Setting Sun (1/1) by lirpa
*Zech's POV*
I've never really thought about life, never had the need to I guess. It was always there, just there, and I never questioned it. I should have, I shouldn't have let it slip through my fingers like sand. But you can't hold sand. You try to hold one grain and a million others slip through your fingers. You try to hold a handful and the sharp corners cut your hands and you have to let go anyway. It's the way of life. So I thought I'd just let it all go and hold onto the memories. Memories don't make good companions though. They don't talk or laugh or smile, they just are. A cold stark reminder of what you've lost and that you'll never see it again. it's even worse if that person meant something to you, if that person completed you. Trieze is dead.
It happened quickly enough I suppose. I can even believe he wanted to die, that his conscience wouldn't let him rest. he knew all the names of the people who died for him, every single last name. they haunted, faceless beings with names, dead in a war that should have never been started. All Trieze wanted to do was end the war. he thought he knew the way yo end it. Turns out he did, but it ended him first.
We had such fun, him and I. In the Academy then the Alliance and finally OZ. and then everything from Sanq came back to me and I went a little crazy. I left my lover, and started the Whitefang, created the Libra, decided to blow Earth up. Never thought about how many people that would kill, just knew that it would end the war. If there was no earth the colonies would have no one to fight. I see now that the logic behind that was faulty, the colonies would have simply fought each other, and the destruction of Earth would have never ended the war, only killed millions of innocent people who had never touched a gun in their lives. I know it now, I just wanted to end it then. The Trieze appeared, so intent on stopping me, and the Gundams at the same time. We were all fighting against everyone, really. It was Trieze against the world, and he wanted the world to win. The war had taken so much out of him that, at 24, he was an old man, one who'd seen, and lived, too much of life.
I know that it was the pilot of Shenlong that killed him. And I know that the boy didn't mean to, because just like me he loves Trieze with all he had. Just like I did. he and I both invested all we had into a man that I abandoned and he killed. I suppose Trieze was already dead. I've heard that he was never the same after I formed the Whitefang Alliance and left him, and his promise of everlasting love, crushed beneath my heel.
That's about the time he began seeing the dragon, I believe. The little Chinese pilot made him happy again. It's good to know that he was happy in his final days, even with all the stress I heaped on him.
I imagine he died exactly how he wanted to, in the end he always got what he wanted. He wanted me and he got me, for a time. he even had his enemy for a time. I think if he had truly wanted to he could have had the world, and the colonies, he could have had it all. He didn't want it though, not any of it at the end. All he wanted was peace and he has it now, for the world, ann for himself. Rest in Peace, Trieze Kushrenada, the world misses you.
*Wufei's POV* I can't believe it, not really. I keep expecting to turn around and see him smiling at me. Quatre says that this is completely natural, that I'm just not ready to let go and I'll come to terms with it eventually. At least that's what he tells the others, non of them tell me anything. In fact, Zechs is the only person that really talks to me about Trieze and he's just as lost as I am without Trieze's guidance.
Everyone around me treats me like glass, like I'm so fragile that I can't do anything without help and the watchful presence of someone else, like I'd try to kill myself or something equally foolish. What they don't understand, that only Trieze understood, is that there is not honour in suicide. I will not sully my clan's name like that, I am the last of the Dragon Clan, and I will never forget that I live for everyone now, not just myself.
I'm so tired though, so tired. All the people who fought are tired. Old before their time, people like Quatre, with so much life in them before the war are now like bitter old men, aged before their time. Cynical and worldly, the world has lost it's wonder for them. There are some who make me wonder if they ever saw the sparkle, the wonder, in the first place. Duo, so cynical, Shinigami, the God of Death. Fifteen years old and the God of Death. It makes one wonder if he ever was innocent in the first place. Heero, more machine then man. No emotions what-so-ever. How can someone who refuses to feel be human? Trowa, quiet and reserved. No past, no history, no family. All alone in the universe without even a name to call his own. I can't think of a worse fate.
Zechs. Zechs is difficult to describe. It's like everything he was, and is, was invested in Trieze. He may have severed the relationship, but in his heart I don't think he ever really did. I don't think he even ever really wanted to.
He's the one that understands the best, but he can't understand what it's like to wake up in the morning with the knowledge you're the reason you're waking up alone, and you'll be waking up alone for the rest of your life because you killed your lover. he doesn't know what it's like to live with that knowledge every second of every day, to be haunted by the fact that it's all my fault. Zechs will never understand. None of them will ever understand. Only Trieze could ever understand, but Trieze is dead. I killed him.
I've gone to see his grave, his body isn't there, but it's symbolic Zechs says. A place for the living to talk to the dead, and find comfort in their memories. Sometimes I think Zechs has gone a little crazy.
I suppose there is comfort to be found there, if you know where to look for it. I don't like the cold comfort the cemetery offers though. I don' like to think of all those graves without bodies in them, marking the end of so many lives. I hate the fact that Trieze is one of them.
I know Zechs goes there often because Noin talks to Quatre about his mental health. She doesn't think that it's healthy he sit there and talk to Trieze. She's a fool if she thinks she can ever replace Trieze in his affections. Hell, I've probably got a better chance than she does.
They all want us to forget about him, move on, put the past int he past, where they think it belongs. They will never be able to understand that Zechs and I live in the past because there is not present for us to live in.
When we talk, Zechs and I, it seems like he have a comradery, a bonding from all the terribleness. They don't want us near each other though, I haven't been able to ascertain the reason. When we talk, Zechs and I, late at night, we often speculate as to why they try so hard to keep us apart.
We're going to meet at the cemetery tomorrow. Duo won't come in with me because he doesn't like to be reminded of what he too has lost. Noin will just drop Zechs off because she's insanely jealous of the love he still has for Trieze.
It's really the only place we can talk without the ver watchful gazes and ears finely tuned to my words.
*The next day*
"I think he would have wanted us to heal, to move on."
"I think so too, Zechs, but you can't possibly mean to..." I break off.
"I can't possibly mean to what?" he questions.
"Take up with that witch," I rush out, in case he is planning on taking up with that witch.
"Noin? Dear God no."
"It's what she wants, you know."
"I really could care less about what she wants."
"Then who?" I question.
"I don't know if he likes me." Aah, I should have known it would be a he.
"Well you could always just ask him," I suggest.
"Do you really think that would work.
"Sure. Or kiss him, that's what Trieze did with me."
"I can't see you ever giving him the opportunity," he comments drolly.
"It was after I lost a duel," I explain laughingly. God, how long has it been since I laughed? Not since he died.
"Okay," I'll try it," he responds And he pulls me close and kisses me hard. When I pull back I'm breathless.
"Do you think...?" he starts to ask.
"I think it's what Trieze would have wanted," I respond.
And somewhere, up in Heaven somewhere, I can feel Trieze smiling down on us, happy and at peace at last.
The End.
Dedication : the usual suspects, especially to KC, tame slash but I'm working on it
Distribution: want, ask, take, have.
Disclaimer: not mine, I'm not exactly sure who they do belong to but it's not me. No copyright infringement is intended.
A.N: I love Trieze, I really do, but for this to work he had to die *sniffles*
Setting Sun (1/1) by lirpa
*Zech's POV*
I've never really thought about life, never had the need to I guess. It was always there, just there, and I never questioned it. I should have, I shouldn't have let it slip through my fingers like sand. But you can't hold sand. You try to hold one grain and a million others slip through your fingers. You try to hold a handful and the sharp corners cut your hands and you have to let go anyway. It's the way of life. So I thought I'd just let it all go and hold onto the memories. Memories don't make good companions though. They don't talk or laugh or smile, they just are. A cold stark reminder of what you've lost and that you'll never see it again. it's even worse if that person meant something to you, if that person completed you. Trieze is dead.
It happened quickly enough I suppose. I can even believe he wanted to die, that his conscience wouldn't let him rest. he knew all the names of the people who died for him, every single last name. they haunted, faceless beings with names, dead in a war that should have never been started. All Trieze wanted to do was end the war. he thought he knew the way yo end it. Turns out he did, but it ended him first.
We had such fun, him and I. In the Academy then the Alliance and finally OZ. and then everything from Sanq came back to me and I went a little crazy. I left my lover, and started the Whitefang, created the Libra, decided to blow Earth up. Never thought about how many people that would kill, just knew that it would end the war. If there was no earth the colonies would have no one to fight. I see now that the logic behind that was faulty, the colonies would have simply fought each other, and the destruction of Earth would have never ended the war, only killed millions of innocent people who had never touched a gun in their lives. I know it now, I just wanted to end it then. The Trieze appeared, so intent on stopping me, and the Gundams at the same time. We were all fighting against everyone, really. It was Trieze against the world, and he wanted the world to win. The war had taken so much out of him that, at 24, he was an old man, one who'd seen, and lived, too much of life.
I know that it was the pilot of Shenlong that killed him. And I know that the boy didn't mean to, because just like me he loves Trieze with all he had. Just like I did. he and I both invested all we had into a man that I abandoned and he killed. I suppose Trieze was already dead. I've heard that he was never the same after I formed the Whitefang Alliance and left him, and his promise of everlasting love, crushed beneath my heel.
That's about the time he began seeing the dragon, I believe. The little Chinese pilot made him happy again. It's good to know that he was happy in his final days, even with all the stress I heaped on him.
I imagine he died exactly how he wanted to, in the end he always got what he wanted. He wanted me and he got me, for a time. he even had his enemy for a time. I think if he had truly wanted to he could have had the world, and the colonies, he could have had it all. He didn't want it though, not any of it at the end. All he wanted was peace and he has it now, for the world, ann for himself. Rest in Peace, Trieze Kushrenada, the world misses you.
*Wufei's POV* I can't believe it, not really. I keep expecting to turn around and see him smiling at me. Quatre says that this is completely natural, that I'm just not ready to let go and I'll come to terms with it eventually. At least that's what he tells the others, non of them tell me anything. In fact, Zechs is the only person that really talks to me about Trieze and he's just as lost as I am without Trieze's guidance.
Everyone around me treats me like glass, like I'm so fragile that I can't do anything without help and the watchful presence of someone else, like I'd try to kill myself or something equally foolish. What they don't understand, that only Trieze understood, is that there is not honour in suicide. I will not sully my clan's name like that, I am the last of the Dragon Clan, and I will never forget that I live for everyone now, not just myself.
I'm so tired though, so tired. All the people who fought are tired. Old before their time, people like Quatre, with so much life in them before the war are now like bitter old men, aged before their time. Cynical and worldly, the world has lost it's wonder for them. There are some who make me wonder if they ever saw the sparkle, the wonder, in the first place. Duo, so cynical, Shinigami, the God of Death. Fifteen years old and the God of Death. It makes one wonder if he ever was innocent in the first place. Heero, more machine then man. No emotions what-so-ever. How can someone who refuses to feel be human? Trowa, quiet and reserved. No past, no history, no family. All alone in the universe without even a name to call his own. I can't think of a worse fate.
Zechs. Zechs is difficult to describe. It's like everything he was, and is, was invested in Trieze. He may have severed the relationship, but in his heart I don't think he ever really did. I don't think he even ever really wanted to.
He's the one that understands the best, but he can't understand what it's like to wake up in the morning with the knowledge you're the reason you're waking up alone, and you'll be waking up alone for the rest of your life because you killed your lover. he doesn't know what it's like to live with that knowledge every second of every day, to be haunted by the fact that it's all my fault. Zechs will never understand. None of them will ever understand. Only Trieze could ever understand, but Trieze is dead. I killed him.
I've gone to see his grave, his body isn't there, but it's symbolic Zechs says. A place for the living to talk to the dead, and find comfort in their memories. Sometimes I think Zechs has gone a little crazy.
I suppose there is comfort to be found there, if you know where to look for it. I don't like the cold comfort the cemetery offers though. I don' like to think of all those graves without bodies in them, marking the end of so many lives. I hate the fact that Trieze is one of them.
I know Zechs goes there often because Noin talks to Quatre about his mental health. She doesn't think that it's healthy he sit there and talk to Trieze. She's a fool if she thinks she can ever replace Trieze in his affections. Hell, I've probably got a better chance than she does.
They all want us to forget about him, move on, put the past int he past, where they think it belongs. They will never be able to understand that Zechs and I live in the past because there is not present for us to live in.
When we talk, Zechs and I, it seems like he have a comradery, a bonding from all the terribleness. They don't want us near each other though, I haven't been able to ascertain the reason. When we talk, Zechs and I, late at night, we often speculate as to why they try so hard to keep us apart.
We're going to meet at the cemetery tomorrow. Duo won't come in with me because he doesn't like to be reminded of what he too has lost. Noin will just drop Zechs off because she's insanely jealous of the love he still has for Trieze.
It's really the only place we can talk without the ver watchful gazes and ears finely tuned to my words.
*The next day*
"I think he would have wanted us to heal, to move on."
"I think so too, Zechs, but you can't possibly mean to..." I break off.
"I can't possibly mean to what?" he questions.
"Take up with that witch," I rush out, in case he is planning on taking up with that witch.
"Noin? Dear God no."
"It's what she wants, you know."
"I really could care less about what she wants."
"Then who?" I question.
"I don't know if he likes me." Aah, I should have known it would be a he.
"Well you could always just ask him," I suggest.
"Do you really think that would work.
"Sure. Or kiss him, that's what Trieze did with me."
"I can't see you ever giving him the opportunity," he comments drolly.
"It was after I lost a duel," I explain laughingly. God, how long has it been since I laughed? Not since he died.
"Okay," I'll try it," he responds And he pulls me close and kisses me hard. When I pull back I'm breathless.
"Do you think...?" he starts to ask.
"I think it's what Trieze would have wanted," I respond.
And somewhere, up in Heaven somewhere, I can feel Trieze smiling down on us, happy and at peace at last.
The End.