DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, the song lyrics (in bold italics) belong to AFI, and all your base are belong to us.

A/N: This was my first stab at getting inside Bellatrix's head and it was written before I had read Deathly Hallows. It started out as a drabble about Bella's love/hate relationship with torture (inspired by the song), but it turned into this. Judge harshly if you must.


~ This Time Imperfect ~

I cannot leave here, I cannot stay
Forever haunted more than afraid

My hands are chained above my head. I kneel on the cold stone floor of my cell and take my punishment as it is given to me.

Asphyxiate on words I would say

Harder. More. My jaw is clamped tightly shut to keep these thoughts from being voiced. I'm not supposed to be enjoying this. I should be angry about it, seeing as how I haven't actually made any mistakes myself. I wonder if he's figured out yet that I only begged mercy for my stupid husband and my equally stupid brother-in-law for their failure in the hope that I would bring down punishment on myself for my insolence.

I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue

Oh, the pain... I feel like I'm going to pass out. Desperately, I hang on to the last threads of consciousness as darkness clouds my vision.

And suddenly the pain stops. A different, sharper pain hits me suddenly, causing me to gasp. It takes me a moment to realize that I've just been punched in the stomach. Apparently, he also wants me to be awake for the rest of my punishment.

There are no flowers, no, not this time
There'll be no angels gracing the lines
Just these stark words I find

"Crucio!"

The curse hits me and a scream rips from my throat unbidden. I can usually keep myself quiet, but he's caught me off-guard this time. Once I start screaming, I can't stop. I cry out wordlessly until my voice is gone and still my punishment continues...

I'd show a smile but I'm too weak
I'd share with you, could I only speak
Just how much this hurts me

Finally, the night is over and I am released from my chains. My body aches all over and I want to collapse, but I stand up by sheer force of will and make my way to my room, where my husband and brother-in-law are waiting for me.

I must look absolutely terrible, because they both make a fuss, asking over and over if I'm alright. I tell them that I'm fine, that I'm tough and they're overreacting.

Or, I try to, anyway. My mouth moves but no sound comes out. I touch my fingers to my throat and shrug apologetically. Sorry, can't talk right now, boys...

They both stare at me in horror. My brother-in-law manages to find his voice and babbles about how they heard me screaming last night and assumed that when my screams stopped, it meant that my punishment had ended, not that I'd lost my voice...

(I think I'm gonna crash)

A wave of dizziness comes over me suddenly and I stumble. My husband steps forward and catches me before I can fall. I cling to him tiredly. He surprises me by scooping me up into his arms and carrying me into our room, where he sets me down gently on the bed.

My brother-in-law hovers nervously in the doorway for a moment, then tells me he owes me one and hastens to depart.

My husband sits beside me and asks me if I'd like a bath or if I just want to sleep. He hasn't fussed over me like this in a long time, ever since the time when we were first married and I made it perfectly clear to him that I could take care of myself. But it does feel nice to have someone take care of you sometimes. For example, after you've spent all night being tortured... I really should take a bath before I sleep and the bruises have a chance to stiffen, but I don't have the energy for even that much right now. I take his hand in mine and tug gently. He gets the message and lays down beside me, wrapping his arms around me as I snuggle close to him. It's almost like he actually cares about me.

Realizing I can use this situation to my advantage, I resolve to stand up for my husband more often in the future. And it doesn't hurt having my brother-in-law owe me a favor either...

~end~

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