Greasers in the Night
Ponyboy Curtis—it really was his name and said so on his birth certificate—walked out of the darkness of the movie house. He did this for two reasons, mainly because it was dark in there and the movie was over and he wanted to leave, but also because he was going to meet Cherry for a drink down at the sock hop. Hoopy doopy doop.
"I wish I was Paul Newman," he muttered to himself for no particular reason at all. "Paul Newman wouldn't go to no darned sock hop."
Ponyboy Curtis—it really was his name and said so on his birth certificate—started off down the highway toward home. He didn't have a car on account of he was poor.
Suddenly, a man in a fancy jacket that was clearly worth more money than Ponyboy Curtis's jacket—which had his name on it because it doubled as his birth certificate—jumped out of the bushes!
"Ho ho ho, mon chere, I am le Soc!" said the Soc.
"Oh, hot damn diggity, it's a Soc!" yelped Ponyboy Curtis—which was really his name and said so on his birth certificate.
The Soc pulled a knife out of his pocket. "I'm going to stab you!"
The Soc stabbed Ponyboy with his knife.
"Shit sickles!" Pony shouted. He fell to the ground holding his gut, which was now bleeding everywhere on account of the knife wound.
The Soc looked very high and mighty, and probably would have said something high and mighty if he were given the chance. But then his head exploded, and he didn't look so high and mighty anymore.
Ponyboy Curtis was very surprised by this. "Damn, that's surprising!" he said.
"I know, right?" said Johnny. He was glowing a lot, kind of like when a Jedi dies and comes back all blue or whatever.
"Holy moley, Johnny!" Ponyboy gasped. "Are you a ghost?"
"Yes."
"Oh, did you kill the Soc?"
"No."
Ponyboy was confused. "Okay, now I'm confused," he said on account of his confusion. "Who killed him, then?"
"I did!" Matt Dillon jumped out of the bushes. He was a ghost, too, but he was a red ghost which meant he was bad. "You can't have no killing Socs without me!"
Ponyboy was elated. "Dally! I'm so happy you're back!"
"Shush up now, lame kid! I hear fast cars and expensive shoes!" Matt Dillon ran off into the sunlight with a gun in his hand. "DO IT FOR JOHNNY!"
Alone with the ghost of his dead karate kid friend, Ponyboy Curtis sighed with relief. "This is so nice."
"Not really," said Johnny. "You're still bleeding to death."
"Oh, poop. Forgot," said Ponyboy.
He died there, and his name was Ponyboy Curtis—it really was his name and says so on his tombstone.