Disclaimer: I don't own JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
So my friend wrote a podcast-like fic and told me (or rather blackmailed me) to upload it.
Help me.
Jonathan: Is... Is this thing on..?
Will: Yes, Jonathan now get back here and let's start the podcast.
Jonathan: Yes, Baron!
Jonathan takes a seat.
Will: Lad, you don't have to call me that.
Jonathan: My bad.
Will: Anyways let's start discussing the topic.
clears his fucking throat*
"What is up with Jonathan and blonde people?"
Jonathan: H-Huh?
Will: Allow me to read more of this crap. It says "During Phantom Blood I can't help but notice 3 blonde people playing a huge role on Jonathan's life." sheesh care to clear up what is this person is talking about?
Jonathan: Oh, I think he or she is referring about my relationships with Erina, Dio and Speedwagon.
Will: Wow, you have three lovers? Way to go, las.
Jonathan: N-NO. I... Can I please have it?
Will gave him the paper*
Let's see, reading it further, it says that "the three played their each role as Jonathan's love interest, rival and bestfriend. But why does all of them admire him in their own ways? Dio stole his body, Erina fornicated with his body, Speedwagon died a bachelor because he dedicated his life being the Joestar family stand."
Will chuckles*
Will: I told you the ripple won't be relevant in the next 100 years.
Jonathan: Well to clear up your question... I guess I never really noticed it before. Maybe it's a coincidence?
Will: Coincidence my arse lad, blonde people love you so much that you are blonde in an alternate universe. Hold on, let me call that kid.
ring*
Jonathan: Mr. Zeppeli, maybe Johnny is busy.
Will: Nonsense.
ring*
ring*
ring*
Will: Any moment now...
ring*
Johnny: Hello?
Will: Hey it's William, why are you blonde?
Johnny: Really. This is so important that I have to dismount my wheelchair and carefully descend the stairs just so you could ask why I'm blonde.
Will: Yes.
Johnny: I don't know, I'm born this way.
Will: You hear that, Jonathan? It's a conspiracy!
Jonathan: Good day, Johnny!
Johnny ends phone call*
Will: Basically, I'm trying to come up with an explanation about this. But I want to bring up the fact that your grandson also had blonde people friends.
Jonathan: Pardon, but... Are you discriminating blonde people?
Will: What? No! My grandson is blonde too, why the fuck would I?!
Will clears his throat*
Will: Now let me continue. You see, Joseph is friends with a German cyborg, my grandson and an italian maid. All of them are blonde!
Jonathan: ... Your point?
Will: The Joestar family is adored by blonde people!
Jonathan: I never thought of it that way. Say, Mr. Zeppeli, why is Caesar blonde yet his siblings are brunette?
Will: How the fuck would I know? I died even before Mario got a son!
Jonathan: Maybe he dyed his hair?
Will: Or maybe he was adopted.
Jonathan: *gasps* Baron! How could you?
Will: Think about it lad, he is blonde! He didn't have the handsome moustache me and my son have, why at his age, I almost grew a beard!
Jonathan: M-Maybe he shaved it? Come on, mister, I think you are being irrational.
Will: No way. Italianos love their moustache, we rock it!
Jonathan: Well... *shows a picture of Giorno and his friends*
Will: Oh don't give me those pretty boy band fellas.
Jonathan: But still, Caesar being blonde does not mean he is adopted...
Will: Well how do you explain THOSE... Whatever those pink una shifezza on his cheeks below the eyes?
Jonathan: I... Well...
Will: I rest my case.
END
una shifezza means crap according to her anyways. Just wanna clear that out.