Hey guys this is my first fan fic. So be kind. This is a conversation I had with my friend over msn the other night … we just made it up on the spot, but it actually turned out to be really funny! The words in bold is me talking and the other words are my friend. ENJOY
Hello you dinky-die Sheila
Maybe
Hello
sorry had the urge
Riightio
so, d''ya win?
for sure
do u know 500?
the card game?
Yup
well i won on 2 mezares
Lol
twas a good un
Goodo
ok you know how my mind sort of wonders a bit...
i certainly do
well i was thinking…
omg, did it hurt!?
oi non of that
well its sort of like when i was thinking of why everyone says 'breath in' when it actually makes u bigger
remember when i said that
yes i do
what of it, my lady?
ok well its sort of like that
ok so i was laying awake last night
staring at the ceiling ... ( and thinking of the brilliant tennis game between federer and safin)
(it was a good one did u see it)
Yeah
(ok ill continue)
So
i was thinking -- heres the punch line
where in humpty dumpty does it say his an egg?
where i tell u
Interesting
yes... yes i thought so to
well, he was drawn as an egg in the original poem
-shakes head- i have 2 much time on my hands atm
yes, im a little worried by that
what made you think of such a thing anyway?
I
Don't
Know
and that is the upmost truth
Lol
... AND when did he first fall apart?
hey... hey ANSWER THAT!
humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
and all the kings horses
and all the kings men
couldn't put humpty back together again
what do you mean?
couldn't put humpty back together AGAIN
AGAIN
AGAIN
AGAIN
see what i mean
its saying they couldn't make him a whole egg again, meaning he was a whole egg but isn't now
WAS
past tense
nar man they mean it as in past tense
thats right
he WAS an egg, but NOW isn't
and those guys couldn't make him an egg AGAIN
past tense its happened before
he was an egg but when he fell, he turned into something else
so the question is - when did it happen before
so to become an egg after a fall would need to require an AGAIN in the sentence
no no no man u have it all wrong
no u do
Noooooooooooooo
your complicating the simplest of things
i think u are Incorrect
your avoiding the big picture anyway
ya know that
big picture?
you wanna know the real question of the poem?
what?
Yes
WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING ON A WALL IN THE FIRST PLACE!!
so true
lets explore that topic
... and the plot thickens
Lol
WHY... did he have a great fall?
eggs are fragile and break at any surface height
expect for that one point on an egg that can't be broken for some reason
hey -- you've got me interested now im going 2 go look this topic up now
True
Lol
but still... why did he fall
or was he pushed?
loss of balance?
i say he was pushed
but who pushed him?
ok WHO pushed him
he could have been knocked
OOOOOH I KNOW
... well the queen of hearts had it in on him ...
when Jack and Jill fell down the hill, the rhyme never said how Jack broke his crown. maybe Jack crashed head first into humpty's wall, ineffectively knocking over the poor egg and causing him to break
ahhhh ... now where getting somewhere
... he was always a shifty character that jack
yeah, and y was he getting whater?
i mean why go UP the hill to get the whater
when he could have just build a well at the bottom
did jill HAVE to come along? was she forced to endure the mountain hike?
lol exactly
yessssss yyeesssss
bringing us back to humpty, y could the men ride their horse back to there kingdom and get surgical glue to stick humpty back together?
i ask you that
yess true ... but i was liking the topic of jack...
lol sorry
u know his everywhere that jack
he built a house
really?
ah yeah, the house that Jack built
(The House That Jack Built) and jumped over candle sticks
"all work, no play, makes Jack a sad boy"
then there was jack sprat
yes yes
y couldn't he walk around the candle?
hmmm thats the question
maybe he just did it for the thrills
was he paid?
YES! thats it
who paid him...
Hmmmm
or
he may had been trying to impress someone
Yes
cough bo peep cough
that may be why she lost all her sheep
Yes
everything is connected!
coz he made the candle fall over wile he was jumping over it... then it burnt all the sheep and bo peep got worried and said that she conveniently "lost them"
wow, good point
just to gain insurance
that might have been the fire that was involved with the cruel cooking of 27 blackbirds that were incased in a pie and were ordered to be cooked
Yeah
yes YES YES!!
I TELL YOU EVery thing is connected
So
lets get the facts right
6 degrees of separation i tell ya
what are the facts?
bo peep got a heap of money ... jack just got his but burnt ...
27 birds were ordered to be slaughtered via death of pie
humpty ... well he fell of a wall and died
Yeah
jack's crown...was that even mended?
and jill had 2 take a hike
yes the crown
yeah, poor jill
hmmm that seems 2 be the startings of this problem
the crown started it all
yeah, the butterfly effect
? ... but did it?
what made jack and jill fall?
did they simply slip on some whater
JACK PLANTING HIS RIDICULOUSLY BIG BEANSTALK!!
YES
the rumbling of the ground must of thrown off everyones balance
and it grew out of his pocket
so he lost balance
yes yes yes
YES
tis the one
and where did he get the beanstalk... that giant
and yet another jack
( yes i relised that)
yeah...no, from that poor guy
so the giant
Lol
NO WAIT
I HAVE IT WRONG
what?
he didnt get the beanstalk from the giant... it was from that old lady
at the market
yes yes yes
Yeah
so who is this old lady? where did SHE come from?
but where'd she get em...i mean, you normally dont find those beans just lying around
OMG
I GOT IT
BY GEORGE I'VE GOT IT
she's mother goose
WHO WHO
Noooooooooooo
Oh
u dont say
?
i did say
BY JOVE I THINK U MAY BE RIGHT MELADDY
YES!
mother goose
that bitch
she was the starting of all this
yeah, her and that goose
that evil little bird
grrr...makes me wanna eat it
so is this case closed, mr. holmes?
no this is not...
far from it im afraid doctor
oh really?
where did mother goose come from? like i mean where is she in any nursery rhyme?
she's just the storyteller, i suppose
Yeeeeeeeees
i still have my suspicions
oh really?
so your telling me she made this whole mess and she gets NAMED after it!
they are probably stories to cover up her own misdeeds
yeeess
ok ... im out of ideas ... would u like 2 say it or shall i?
she was the one who stole the cookies from the cookie jar
that may just be true
case closed
thats right buddy
offers hand for shaking well done, mr.Holmes
well i must say Dr. whatson we did good – shakes hand-
we certainly did
Well
now we have nothing to talk about
so what will you be doing now?
i dont know
well there you have it ... hope you enjoyed it ... plz plz PLZ leave me a review (remembering this is my first fan fic.) i would really love to hear from you theone