Past Tense for Us
FUINN – Glee Fanfic
The hallway is empty. No one is around, no one but Quinn and Finn. She stands in front of the lockers on one side, and he stands on the other side. She's dressed in her gray cardigan with her brown and white dress under it. Her necklace circles her neck. A headband around her head, a cream-colored headband with brown diagonal stripes. He is wearing his varsity jacket. He stands tall. Confused after the conversation he just had, he stares emptily. She knows where she stands but at the same time, she doesn't.
She looks at him and she feels what she felt earlier that year. Or maybe that feeling hasn't really left her. Maybe it has never left. But on the other hand, she doesn't know what to do.
He stares at her and deep inside, he knows that he's madly in love with her. He, also, feels that feeling he had for her. He starts thinking that she's the only girl he had truly loved. Or love. He starts thinking that she's the only girl he has ever loved.
They're struggling with their own minds. They're fighting against their own thoughts. They're happy, at the same time confused and scared. They're afraid that the feeling they once had for each other will build inside of them again. They're afraid that they'll feel like they need each other again.
He starts the conversation. He starts with a dubious tone, afraid yet unafraid. Doesn't matter, he starts talking anyway.
"Hey" he said. So 'Hi' was what he gets in return. Then she continues,
"I never get a chance to thank you. For helping me do the right thing."
"Ah, you would've come to it on your own soon enough." He pauses then continues, "So how does it feel being out of the uniform?"
"Weird" she says. They talk for a while, and at the end of their conversation, she says what she needs to say, "Reminded me of why I loved you." But in her head, she's picturing herself in his arms. Like the old days. She imagines both of them together, facing the best and worst days together. She wishes that she had just say 'love' not 'loved'.
She needs to change all those words into past tense, 'but what is the past tense for us?' she thinks. Are they the past? She reassures herself that they are the past. Her mind believes her, but her heart is battling against her mind.
While he's thinking to himself, 'Are we the past? What if we're not?' Memories start flickering in his mind. How he used to hug her tight when she's having the worst days, how she used to yell at him when he was acting stupid, how they walked down the hallway with their arms wrapped around each other, and how they loved each other.
Silence builds between them. His mind takes him to his own world, while her mind takes her to her own world. Their own separate worlds where they both imagine they are together. Probably it isn't his world and her world, but it is their world. Probably those worlds are the 2 worlds they built together when they were in love.
Something snaps them back to reality. They stare at each other, right into each others' eyes. She takes a step closer to him but hesitates. He can see the smile she fakes but he smiles back. There is a strong feeling inside of him, a feeling that he longs for her. He longs to have her in his arms. But that doesn't happen.
Hesitant, she is. Finally she decides to do what she's about to do. She takes a step forward, cups his face, and plants a lingering kiss on his lips. Then she takes a step back. She opens her eyes and he opens his.
His face looks confused, but a spark of happiness can be seen in his eyes. She is confused, regretting what she just did because it makes her feel her love for him again. But on the other hand, she doesn't regret it. Even so, she is afraid. She's afraid that she's doing the wrong thing. She plays with her hands and leaves. She leaves him standing there. She leaves him standing alone.
He stands tall and confused in the middle of the empty hallway. He still can't believe what just happened. Then someone walks to him and touches his shoulder, she starts talking,
"You guys weren't alone, you know. I… I was there the whole time." Those are the only words she says. Inside, her heart is breaking, wishing that what she just witnessed is just another nightmare. But she chooses not to, she just smiles at him and leaves.