Anchor
By Jackie Almasy
She didn't know how long she had been there. Hanging inside a steel horned cage like a scared animal, she had no choice but to listen to the howling of Oblivion around her. The screams of the fellow caged warriors, thieves, and fools alike filled her every waking thought. With what little exhaustion she was allowed, her dreams were not spared any exception.
Her heavily bruised eyes opened weakly, shuddering from the pain shooting through her head. Somewhere within the large room, the mechanical clicking of the lift reverberated against the large steel walls. The low light of red pierced the darkness that had once been her brief sanctuary behind her eyelids. The Imperial's short brown hair clung to her face is clumps, stuck together with what seemed like days of sweat and dried blood.
A large cut along her lower lip ached as she ran her dry tongue along it. Groaning, the warrior pushed herself up from her makeshift sleeping place. The harsh snake like voices of the approaching Daedra torturers were nearly impossible to ignore. She couldn't help but smirk at the approaching tall Daedra. His ebony black face was riddled with red scars and cuts.
Her parched voice broke the silence between them.
"Back for more? And here I thought you'd at least bring me dinner first."
A soft cackle followed her words. The deadra torturer began circling his prey, watching how her muscles tensed and were caught on guard.
"Brave words for a mortal fool. Our Lord Dagon told us of your foolish hopes and beliefs." He stopped in front of her as he brought his face to the bars. It took her almost all her strength to not hurl from the stench from his mouth. It reeked of death and rotting flesh. In the moments of him flapping his gums, she could have sworn to see bits and pieces of flesh swaying in between his teeth.
"Your Gods cannot help you now Imperial. Nothing can. You are in Oblivion. The realm that will soon take over yours."
Before she could keep her anger in check, she brought her leg up and kicked the daedra in the nose. Watching the large creature fall back onto the ground howling in anger, she panted and leaned foreword.
A large armor glove suddenly reached in, grabbing her black hair. She screamed out in agony. His grip felt tight and strong enough to rip out her hair with a flick of his wrist. Still despite the pain, her determined blue eyes glared back into the red orbs as deep as Oblivion itself.
Bright red blood fell down his chin and neck in what seemed like streams. Gritting his pointed teeth tightly together, she vaguely heard the other daedra make his way to the nearby switch. Though she didn't show it on her face, her fears suddenly flared to life. This was it. He was finally going to kill her.
"Not even Akatosh will be able to save you from the fires of my torture cell." Suddenly spitting blood right into her bruised face, he grinned at her recoil of anger and disgust. "Say your goodbyes whore."
Throwing her back into the cage, the torturer shouted commands to the lower commanding soldier. The cage jolted her around. Managing to catch herself on the bar, she defiantly found the courage to scream at her soon to be killers.
"Remember my name you daedra filth! I am Alexina, Hero of Kvatch! By my sword, I swear I shall kill you all for the murders you have committed!"
As she watched the mechanical floor open before her, she couldn't help but close her eyes in the approaching heat. A giant pool of lava lay beneath her, burning her skin in the approaching heat.
It was then that a familiarly haunting roar filled the air around her in the tower. Her eyes dilated as she dared to look up in hope. Thoughts raced through her head as the cage suddenly stopped a few strides from the lava.
"N-No… It can't be." Alexina's hands grabbed the hot bars in front of her, the layers of dirt apparent on her skin. Against the metal, she couldn't hide her trembling grasp.
Another roar filled the air and this time it was much closer. Before she could stop herself from yelling, the single word she had been yearning to shout for what seemed like years left her. It was filled with years of sadness, pain, and sudden yearning.
"MARTIN!"
The walls around her suddenly seemed to melt away and the endless weeks of pain fluttered away. Alexina's eyes felt heavy and exhausted. Despite her best efforts to keep them open, they closed against her will.
How long had she been out? She wasn't sure but her body suddenly felt so calm, comfortable, and warm. So blissfully warm.
A gentle rumble reverberated around her followed by a soft push of her body. Finally, Alexina opened her eyes to see a new scenery around her. The walls of hellish torture had been replaced by a field of soft grass and flowers. A gentle breeze blew through the area and it was then that she saw the grass only extended out about five long strides before a sea of mist surrounded her.
Appearing suddenly beside her, the large glowing form of the dragon Akatosh towered over her. Laying on its mighty stomach, the large reptile slowly flexed its front claws along the mist. As another breeze blew through Alexina moved her gaze to over her form. The large blazing colors of fire and life seemed to pulse through the body of the mighty avatar.
"M-Martin…?"
The striking eyes of the dragon gazed down at her. It was then that somewhere deep in her mind, Alexina heard the voice of the man she thought she would never hear again.
"Alexina."
"How is this possible?"
"Anything is possible in your subconscious."
Alexina felt her breath leave her at his words. A small sad smile spread across her face as she let out a small disheartened laugh. Lying back fully against the grass, she covered her scared face with her bare arms.
"So this is all a dream. Everything. This wonderful piece of bliss and you."
The dragon above her remained silent for a second before turning his gaze to the ocean of mist around her.
"Your heart is heavy. Your spirit weakened. Your bravery has dwindled. This is not the woman I know."
Alexina shuddered at his words. As much as it stung her to hear them, she knew he was right. Part of her had given up since that fateful day in the center of the Imperial City. The memories of collapsing onto her knees and unable to stop her growing scream of anguish at Martin sacrificing himself. Even if it had been for the sake of Tamriel, she had even dared to dream of him in her life after all this.
During the months of dungeon delving, long nights, and cold winters, they had talked for hours on end. A friendship had bloomed in her heart and slowly despite her not knowing till days near the very end, she had come to feel affection for the young emperor.
She had never confessed her feelings and it was a black abyss in her heart that seemed to grow and grow by the day.
"Why is it so bad?" Her gentle voice asked. Her eyes were closed, hidden by her arms. "I know it's bad to be selfish. But… is it so wrong to want to stop? I sacrificed so much for Cyrodiil. I've bled, I've been cut, and so much worse..."
Her lips began quivering, trying her absolute best to control her emotions but here in this solace place of privacy and heartache Alexina gave in just this one time.
"Martin I…" She failed to notice the Dragon above her watching her intently and quietly. "I loved you… I still do. Watching you die tore me apart!"
Tears began slipping down her cheeks from underneath her arms.
"I feel so lost!"
Finally, the Hero of Kvatch let the tears and anguish leave her soul and heart.
She gasped softly as she suddenly felt a rough but tender nuzzle against the top of her head. Lowering her arms away gently, she all but whimpered as she felt the form of Akatosh nuzzling her face. Closing her eyes tightly one more time, Alexina suddenly wrapped her arms tightly around the top section of his long snout.
"Alexina… I know of your love for me. I have never left you even in your dreams. I have sensed your anguish and heard your tears. Your nightmares haunt you day and night."
Turning his body into the form of the tiny warrior, the dragon curled his tail around her. Lowering his head and neck further towards the ground, the form of Akatosh formed a physical protective barrier around the woman. It was then that he allowed his own eternal gaze to close as well.
"Cyrodiil still needs you. They need a Champion to look to in these dark and uncertain times. Mehrunes Dagon may be banned from our world but dangers still exist. He knows he can haunt your dreams but I will not let him."
"What if I don't want to anymore? Why can I just give up and go my own way?"
She clung tighter as she turned her form more into his embrace. It was so calm and serene to be near him. She could hear a low rumble from his throat and feel the vibration of its strength soar through her body.
"Because that is not the beautiful and kind woman I fell in love with."
Silence reigned between them as the dragon remained curled around the weeping woman, hiding her from the world. Forever more this moment would belong to them and them alone. Her insecure worries would remain as one of the most beautiful memories to the fallen emperor. The day that she showed a side of herself to him that she never showed anyone. Today on, she would forever be his in this moment.
"How do I find my way again?"
Her innocent question was filled with doubt but deep within Martin could sense the glimmer of hope.
"One day at a time. There are still people to protect and homes to rebuild."
Feeling her nod, Martin lowered his long and elegant right wing over her form to encase her.
"I'm scared Martin. I-I haven't felt this lost in a long long time."
"I will never leave you. Even if you cannot see me, know this."
The mist began spreading more and more over them, beginning to cover the dragon and silent warrior. The last whispers that Alexina heard filled her with a tentative but reignited sense of belonging before the world around her turned to black.
"I will always love you."
Gasping loudly, Alexina awoke from her deep sleep. Looking around erratically at her small camp, the small fire a few feet from her crackled to life with hot embers. Pushing her hair away from her face, the young Imperial woman watched as the dozens of lavender and heather swayed in the gentle morning breeze. The night creatures still howled and chirped as the first morning light began rising over the far off mountain range.
Slowly pushing her simple blanket away from her tiny form, Alexina walked a few steps to see the Imperial City in the distance. Instead of the normal uneasy feeling at the sight of the city, her soft eyes were met with a sight that took her breath away. Seeming to hover just over the top of White Gold Tower, a bright star shimmered more brilliantly than any other.
It was then that Alexina could not help but smile. For the first time in months, she felt not the invasion of agony but the gentle caress of truth in her heart.
Inspirational Playlist:
"Honestly" by Kelly Clarkson
"I Found a Reason" by Cat Power
"Anchor" by Mindy Gledhill
"Near To You" by A Fine Frenzy
Till next time,
Jackie Almasy
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is copyrighted by Bethesda Softworks and Bethesda Game Studios. I own nothing.