DISCLAIMER: I own nothing for D.Gray-man. Just borrowing the characters
'Why can't Komui ever just do these things himself?' Rabi wondered as he made his way down the hallway.
Things were relatively calm in the Black Order's headquarters today but it seemed their commander had a task or two in store. Not for the Bookman, of course, but for Allen, who was currently taking a nap in his room.
As he passed by the other Exorcists, he nodded his head as they greeted him. They considered him their ally and Rabi desperately wished that he could return the favour. There was only one that made it difficult to not do that. This led him to wonder exactly why that was. Of course, this meant that he had to accept the fact that Allen simply didn't prescribe to the same drumbeat as everyone else. Allen was like him.
He quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind when he found the door to Allen's room, not bothering to knock as he opened the door. The mid-afternoon sun filtered through the window, giving the room a serene glow. How the young Exorcist could sleep like this eluded the redheaded Bookman.
Silently crossing the floor to the edge of Allen's bed, he looked down at the quietly sleeping form that hadn't moved an inch since he'd come in. Using that to his advantage, the Bookman sat on the edge of the bed. Only a moment later, he wondered what had possessed him to do that, considering it could have woken the sleeper up. But, turning around and seeing that he still hadn't moved, Rabi relaxed.
Just as he reached a hand out to shake Allen awake, the heavy sleeper rolled over, revealing a troubled expression on his face. It was clear that he was having a nightmare. Shocked for a moment, his hand still outstretched, Rabi relaxed once more, sighing ever so lightly.
It wasn't the first time he'd seen Allen having nightmares. Being a Bookman, it was his duty to know why. He had read the files on Allen Walker, even before he had met him, on the train to the rewinding town. Unbeknown to the young Exorcist, he'd already captured Rabi's attention long before they'd met face-to-face.
Silently chastising himself for letting his mind wander yet again, Rabi looked down at Allen, who was still trapped in whatever nightmare had entered his mind. The Bookman frowned slightly, finally moving his outstretched hand, gently placing it on Allen's forehead. Rabi felt a little awkward for doing it, the reminder of who he was and who Allen was gnawing at the back of his mind.
None of that really mattered in this moment, he reminded himself. 'Just a little moment of indulgence never hurt anyone.' he thought to himself as his thumb traced a path over the pentacle on Allen's forehead. Rabi couldn't help but smile as the young Exorcist's face relaxed. If anyone were around - or awake - to see the Bookman's smile however, they would have noticed that it was a bitter one, mixed with a tint of regret.
"Dammit," Rabi whispered lightly, still not wishing to wake his friend up. "How is it I can love you and hate you?"
Upon voicing this, the redhead removed his hand from Allen's forehead and cursed under his breath. No matter what he did, he knew he could never truly be with him. But it was so easy to forget what his true duties were and focus on them when Allen was around. It was for that reason that led to his conflicted feelings and made his life much more difficult than it had to be. In some respects, he wished he'd never met the Exorcist to begin with.
With some difficulty, Rabi pushed down his frustration and put his hand on Allen's shoulder, shaking him a little roughly. "Rise and shine, beansprout."
Allen made a little noise of protest before his eyes fluttered open. "Rabi...?" he muttered before he yawned and stretched a bit.
"Come on, Sleeping Beauty. Komui needs to see you. I think you've had enough beauty rest, yeah?" With the message delivered and not being in the mood to stick around at the moment, Rabi got up from the bed and made his way to the door.
"So it was real," the white-haired Exorcist whispered, causing the Bookman to stop in his tracks. Allen seemed to realize what he'd said and looked at his friend, a mix of sadness and something else Rabi couldn't identify on his features. "It's nothing," he finally uttered quietly after a few moments of silence, getting up from his resting place.
Rabi stood there for a moment longer before giving a short, mirthless laugh. "Yeah. It's nothing."
"But it could be if we wanted it to be."
Hearing that, the Bookman merely smiled lightly and shook his head. "You know we couldn't. Just leave it at that, beansprout."
Before he could hear any protest, Rabi left the room. Instead of going down the hall again however, he leaned against the door, putting his hand to his forehead, Bookman's voice echoing in his ears.
"A Bookman has no need for a heart."
"Easier said than done, gramps," he muttered quietly to himself with a smile. "As long as he's here, that's easier said than done."