Paul's POV
How could she do this to me? I'm not angry or mad at her, because I know that wouldn't do any good, but she broke my heart. I stay in Jamaica for the next week because I can't go back to the house and have all those things of hers and memories hit me and remind me of her. Jamaica was incredibly lonely, but good to be somewhere new without the bloody press. Some men would go find some random bird to sleep with but I couldn't even muster that thought, I don't want that and technically we're on a break.
When I came home it was so overwhelming and I just broke down and stayed in bed all day crying and cuddling with Martha.
"Hey there Macca. How was the holiday with the Mrs? Did you get some sexy time?" John asks me as i walk into the studio being in the same depressed and short tempered mood I've been on since it happened.
"Fuck off, John." I say and walk over to my bass and scratch my cheek.
"What's yer problem?" he asks and George and Ritchie walk away to talk or go up to the control room.
"Jackie left me." i admit as I change my mind and sit down at the piano and he walks over with his guitar in hand and he looks shocked and surprised. I still am and I can't bring my mind to comprehend this, I still want to think I'll see her when I wake up or that she's out at the store.
"What happened?" he asks me as I look down at the piano keys and I play the little thing I came up when I came home yesterday, some tune I've made up and put a few words to.
"I don't even know, John. I really wish I did. It was on the flight there and one minute we're talking about getting married and the next she won't look at me and says she doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore." I say as I keep my eyes on the keys. I remember it all so clearly and it bugs me so much remembering every word that was said.
"I'm sorry, Paul." he says and I nod.
"I, we're on a break I guess. She's not decided what she wants, but I just want her back. It's all my fault, John." I say and I sigh and cover my face with my hands.
"Give her time." he says and I let out a frustrated sigh.
"I have John, I've given her a week and it's already felt like a month." I say and I hear the door upstairs open and our producer comes down interrupting our conversation and I hardly listen as I plunk the keys of the piano while I have these poetic words running though my mind, possible lyrics.
The lads talk while I sit there and finger the piano keys while thinking of this line that I can't forget.
"You want her, you need her, and you don't believe her when she says her love is dead.." I sing softly while playing the little piano part I came up with.
We do the session and afterwards John comes over and we stay up and fiddle with the line I came up with and end up finishing the whole song in a matter of hours with plenty of revisions to it, I wanted it to be perfect. Basically a song about Jackie leaving me like she did, from a second point of view like how somebody would see me suffering from it.
I walk past her things every day for the next two weeks, her clothes, jewelry, her journal, and my pictures of her which catch me off guard each time. Walking back from the studio one night I see a blonde whose a dead ringer for Jackie and I think about inviting her over, what me being the lonely man I am now should do, but I couldn't even bring myself to a thought of having another girl at my house. A girl who isn't my dearest Jackie.
I wake up one morning and decide to call Holly and ask about my love.
"How is Jackie?" I ask Holly after we greet each other.
"Really?" she asks and I tell her yes.
"She's nothing like herself, she's like a zombie and I haven't seen her smile for days or even laugh. The nursing home was reluctant to have her back and she works every day and when she isn't working she's exercising, she's working herself too hard Paul. She's lost weight, she doesn't eat enough and her working so much isn't good for her body." she says what my ears don't want to hear. I want her to be happy and to be okay and she isn't, she's horrible.
"Holls, will you promise me you'll take care of my baby?" I ask.
"Of course I will, I'm doing my best without causing her to leave." she says.
"I know yer doing yer best, Holls. I want her to be happy and to be okay." I tell her.
"She needs you, Paul. I can't see her being happy and okay without you, she'll work her body to being sick sooner or later." Holly says and I nod to myself. I don't understand her, she thinks she's better off without me but now she's unhealthy?
"Keep me updated and if she gets significantly worse, don't hesitate to ring me." I say. Jackie is stubborn and she won't admit some things and one of them is not being okay or sick, but I don't care I'm not gonna let her hurt herself.
"I won't." she says.
"Bye Holls, take care of yourself, love. I hope David is treating you well." I say since I care about Holly, I care about anybody who is close to Jackie or is her family.
"He is, thanks. You take care of yourself too, I hope your doing good." she says.
"Thanks Holls." I say not saying that I'm a wreck and we both hang up and I go to take Martha for a walk, I need out of this house.