'Aunt May is coming to stay.'

Brendan Brady dropped his bacon sandwich in shock. It was six simple words that never failed to put the fear of god into him.

'What do you mean Aunt May is coming to stay?'

Cheryl Brady shot him a sheepish grin. 'I invited her; she'll be here at five o clock tonight.'

Brendan clutched the plate he was holding like it was some kind of lifeline.

'I've cleared your schedule,' said Cheryl cheerfully 'and I've hired agency staff for the week. So it will pretty much be family time.'

He slammed the plate down, forcing any violent thoughts of throwing the plate at his sister head out of his mind. 'Chez,' he growled dangerously.

'Don't you dare to try and wriggle your way out of this Brendan Seamus Brady. You have managed to find excuse after excuse every time she visits, not this time.' Her face was set in a no nonsense expression.

'That woman is the devil.'

Cheryl's face flushed with anger. 'She is an eighty year old woman, I don't know why you have such an irrational fear of her.'

Brendan scowled darkly, shoving his bacon sandwich into his mouth almost whole. Everything had been going so well lately and it was strange how a few words had managed to put an end to it all. He was having a run of luck that most men could only dream of. A few years he'd won big during a poker game and had decided to use the money to join his sister in Hollyoaks. Three months later he'd brought a local club and succeeded in making it one of the most popular venues in Chester. Now he lived quite a happy but solitary life which consisted in spending his days in bed and his nights at the club. Perhaps not everyone's dream but it made him perfectly happy. Now it seemed Cheryl was intent on ruining his life.

'Come on Bren, you've got to see why I've done this. She's won't be around for much longer.'

Brendan's eyebrows shot up. 'Won't be around for much longer? That woman is going to out live the both of us. She's your blood relative, not mine.' he tried to ignore how he sounded like a sulky child.

'She treats us the same, blood relative or not.'

'The last time I saw the woman I ended up married to Eileen. We all know how well that turned out.' Brendan tried not to pull his hair out in frustration; Aunt May was a serial match maker who even seemed to be able to make the great Brendan Brady do her bidding. Even all these years later he still couldn't figure out how she did it. 'You haven't told her I'm single have you?'

Cheryl's cheeks flushed. 'It might have slipped out in conversation.'

'Slipped out? Jesus Cheryl, I'll be down the aisle with some woman before her bus even pulls up.'

Cheryl open and closed her mouth. 'It may also have slipped out that you were gay.'

Brendan found himself gripping onto the table. The fact he was gay was still something people only knew on and need to know basis. Most the people of Hollyoaks hadn't even figured it out yet. Just the other day his barman Rhys had said that he wished he had Brendan's skills with the ladies. His friend and work colleague Anne only knew because she'd made an ill timed and awkward pass at him. He wasn't ashamed of the fact; it was more that he preferred his private life to be private.

'Why did you do that?' He asked through clenched teeth. 'You might as well have placed a rainbow banner in the village with my name and face on it, would have saved Aunt May the time.'

Cheryl looked awkward for a second and took the chance to twist a blonde curl round her finger. 'I just worry about you Bren, that's all. It seems all you ever do lately is work and I just worry that when I move in with Nate you will be all alone.'

Brendan forced his expression to be blank. Ever since his sister had started her perfect relationship, it seemed that she was the expert on everyone. Now she looked at her older brother with a strange expression of pity in her eyes, instead of the usual admiration and respect. So what if he was becoming a bit of a workaholic? It didn't mean he had no-one, he was quite happy with his one night stands.

'I've done this because I love you.' finished Cheryl.

Brendan had to admit his sister was good, if she was an actress she'd easily win an Oscar. She had managed to make a situation which was all about her mistake and twist it so it looked as if it was an act of love. She was good, but not as good as him. 'Well Cheryl, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm already seeing someone.' The lie was out his mouth before he could stop it.

Cheryl open and closed her mouth. 'You've kept that quiet! Who is it Bren?' her eyes were glinting with curiosity.

Brendan tried not to hide the panic taking place in his head. He wasn't sure why he had even lied; he just couldn't face Aunt May forcing him into yet another marriage with her hysterical powers of persuasion. 'I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.' he said quickly.

'Will you invite him for dinner tonight?'

'Oh he wouldn't miss it for the world.' He let out a laugh that sounded like a deranged mad man's. What the hell had he just done?

A few hours later he found himself in his club drinking whisky, a part of him was hoping that he could get himself too drunk for dinner.

'You alright boss?'

He glanced up and noticed Anne standing over him, her expression set in a pout.

'What do you want Anne?' he asked.

She slipped into the seat next to him and pulled her face at the smell of his whisky. 'I thought you weren't going to be in for the rest of the week. I have big plans for it., but now you're here I think it's time we discussed my maternity pay.'

Brendan scowled darkly at her, hoping she'd get the message he wasn't in the mood for this conversation. This seemed, however, to have the opposite affect, as Anne's smile got even bigger. 'Not now.' he said simply, going back to gazing into the bottom of his glass.

'Is there anything I can help you with? You're not going to solve anything by spending the day drinking away your profits.'

Brendan fixed his blue eyes on her coldly; perhaps there was something she could help him with after all. 'Would your fella be willing to kiss me?'

Anne's expression switched to one of shock and she nearly fell off the stall from the absurdity of the question. 'Brendan, you do realise I'm five months pregnant? The Riley boat sailed a long time ago. I know he's gorgeous, but you missed your chance.'

Brendan laughed at her serious expression. 'I need a boyfriend for the week; I told Cheryl I already had one.'

Anne's eyebrows shot up. 'So you thought you'd borrow mine? Just tell her the truth.'

'I can't.'

'Why'

He let out a long sigh, 'It's complicated.'

'Well it's going to end up a lot more complicated when he fails to materialise.'

Brendan ignored her and took another long swig of his drink.

'What about Myra's son, John something or other?' asked Anne.

He shot her a confused expression. 'Who?'

'The teacher.'

Brendan pulled a face, he knew who she meant but not for the right reasons. The man had asked him to do a talk on the school's careers day; he had hardly let Brendan speak and had spent the whole time lecturing the kids on the dangers of alcohol. 'Oh him, are you going to carry his soap box around for us?'

Anne scowled. 'What about that Doug from the Deli? I hear he's gay.'

Brendan pulled a face. 'Jesus Anne. Are you trying to give me nightmares?'

'What's wrong with Doug?'

'What's right with him?'

Anne threw up her hands in frustration. 'Well I can't think of anyone. What about Rhys?'

Brendan rolled his eyes. 'You think his precious Jacqui would let him any where near me? Besides the poor lad would run a mile.' he stood up and drained the last of the liquid in his glass. 'I'll think of something.'

Anne raised an eyebrow. 'Just tell the truth Brendan and don't forget one of the lads from the Deli will need your signature and approval for the Hanson party food.'

Brendan simply nodded, not hearing a word she had said. He found himself at two minutes to five sitting in his living room with still no solution to his problem. He was distracted by his thoughts by the door opening to reveal Cheryl and his aunt. The little old lady stepped in slowly, clutching her walking stick. To the untrained eye she would seem to be frail and weak, but underneath it all was a woman with a will of iron. Her eyes were a cold blue and her hair was tightly curled close to her head.

'Is that Brendan?' her thin lips was stretching into a smile. 'It's been so long that I'm surprised I recognise you.'

Brendan stood up and forced himself to smile. 'Aunt May, what a pleasure it is to see you.'

She surveyed him with her eagle eyes. 'You look like my nephew, but it seems all your words all muffled because of that moustache of yours.'

Brendan clenched his fists; he would not loose his temper because of this woman. 'You seem like my Aunty May, but you'd think by now she'd be dead.' he flashed his teeth at her.

Instead of looking upset, she actually smiled. 'Where's that wet English man of yours Cheryl? How long does it take to bring a case upstairs?'

Cheryl flushed but then looked relieved as Nate appeared in the doorway clutching two heavy suitcases and a parrot's cage.

Aunt May just frowned at him. 'This is what happens when mothers don't feed their sons properly.'

'Well it's a good job he's marrying an Irish woman then.' said Cheryl.

Brendan tried not to smirk, but an evil part of him was enjoying his sister's squirming. She had brought all of this on herself.

'I swear you must have bricks in here.' said Nate warmly. As he slipped past Brendan he lowered his voice. 'Kill me now.' he muttered under his breath.

Brendan couldn't help but laugh. But his expression soon changed when aunt May sat herself down on the sofa and pointed to the seat next to her.

'Cheryl tells me you've got yourself a boyfriend.' her blue eyes were staring at him unblinking. 'Tell me what is he like and what does he look like?'

'Well he's...' Brendan paused as several words entered his head, such as: invisible, fake, made-up. He was saved by a knock at the door. 'That's him right now.' He practically ran to the door, trying to ignore the voice in his head that was screaming at him.

He opened the door and found himself pleasantly surprised. A young good looking man was standing there with a warm smile on his face. Brendan pinched himself, wondering if he was a figment of his imagination. The two stared at each other smiling, neither saying a word.

The boy suddenly flushed under Brendan's gaze. 'Hi, I've err...brought the menus round for the Hanson party.'

Brendan carried on staring at him, suddenly realising the boy was familiar after all. They often passed each other in the morning, when Brendan was heading home from the club and the boy was walking to the Deli to start work. 'I will pay you five thousand pounds if you spend the next few hours pretending to be my boyfriend.' The words were out his mouth before he could stop them.

The boy stood there for a moment, obviously shocked. In his mind he was processing what he could do with the five thousand and already spending it. 'Okay. But...'

'Brilliant.' said Brendan, pulling the boy through the door before he could say anything else. 'Aunt May this is my boyfriend...' he tried to remember the boy's name from all the invoices he'd signed. He settled on a name and hoped for the best. 'Stephen.'