I miss you. Every moment of everyday I miss you. I can't seem to get by you, get you out of my system. I need to move on. But everyday it's something new. Something else to remind me of you and knock the breath out of me. Why won't you let me go? You're a universe away and you still have me in a strangle hold. I just want peace.
There was a time when I felt empty when you weren't near. Emptiness would be a welcome relief right now. I'm so full of everything you were, everything you are, that there's no room for anything else. I need there to be room. I need to be happy. I need to go to mom's for dinner and feel love for my sister, or notice a cute server at the café and not feel guilty. I don't want to infect the people around me with my depression, like some sort of cancer that comes in and spreads everywhere. But I think that's what I am.
The thing is, I need closure. I need you to be able to tell me that everything is going to be okay. But you can't because there is a great big void between us. So how am I supposed to know that I can survive?