Humans are always born to be alone no matter what. For some period of time we don't feel lonely and for some time I was happy. But it soon ended when my dear mother died. Dad started to ignore me more, with every day he grew colder and colder. When, one day he just didn't care anymore.
Father remarried and spends all his time with his new "family" forgetting me his late wife's daughter. Time doesn't stop, with time I stopped caring and moved out from that ice cold place you suppose to call "home".
I moved from place to place searching for a home that I could call my oven. Feeling like nobody needs me, lonely all the time. But I learned to live with it or so I thought.
Natsu and Happy came in my life. They brought laughter, happiness and friendships that I thought will stay forever. He and everyone gave me a place that I can call my home, it was so warm. We trained, we fought and we traveled together. There were hardships and happiness, with time I forgot that lonely feeling that my father left.
I don't know if being naïve is a bad thing, but in my case it was…
My home disappeared, my dearest friends left me and Natsu left me all alone, he didn't forget to take my happiness away with him. I never knew that this will hurt me even more than I ever felt before in my life.
The light that he brought with him turned into darkness and the loss of Aquarius didn't help. After my world came crashing down I don't remember a single day without sobbing. There were days when the only thing I doing was choking on sobs.
It didn't take long for depression to swallow me whole. My days became filled with sorrow, loneliness. Sitting in my apartment with my eyes wide opened I could only see darkness. No more light only darkness.
Silence was driving me insane; I couldn't stand that death silence. Music didn't help. Maybe, because it was so thick that even a knife would brake if someone tried to cut through it.
Depression was killing me so much that the thought of taking my oven life didn't seem that bad at the moment. I just wanted to end it. But the friends that I still had tried to help me. The best thing for me at the moment was to move out.
It's scary to see darkness with your eyes opened all the time. But it's so funny when you finally brake down and everything starts to look funny. You just don't care anymore and feel emotionally drained.
Time doesn't stop and a year passed now. Depression made me a mess out of me. But I tried not to break no matter what was thrown at me. These made me learn how to fake a smile and fool myself in to not feeling lonely. Yet I know that it is a lie.
Feeling lonely it's like having a big hole inside of yourself, no matter what you do you don't know if it will ever be filled. It doesn't help that old wounds were opened; when Natsu came back.
I don't know what will happen to me now, if I can ever again fully believe in happiness. But only time will tell so we have to wait and see…
.
.
.
Hope you enjoyed my first one-shot Lucy's p.o.v. fanfic. I said it may suck, so sorry.