This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction. I know most people dont like reading WIPs but this story is pretty much already written so I promise to update at least once a week...most times I'll update more often if I get feedback...

CHAPTER ONE

Kurt was sitting behind his desk, rubbing his tired eyes with the heels of his hands. It had been a long day and while he felt like he had accomplished much, he knew there was still a lot of work ahead of him. Of course he loved his job and the direction his future was heading. He had been working for Rosaline Spencer, one of the top fashion houses in NYC for the past three years after graduating from the New York Academy of Fashion at the top of his class. He had been working hours upon hours just trying to get his work recognized and it seemed like the time had finally arrived. After being given the golden opportunity of working with Rosaline Spencer's top designer, he was finally getting the chance to build his portfolio up and at the end of this season Kurt would get the chance to present it to Ms. Rosaline Spencer herself. If she liked what she saw, he could get his very own line! Three years after graduation and Kurt Hummel could have his very own fashion line. He knew first hand that not all dreams come true but if this one did, he might consider all of the sacrifices worth it.

"Kurt!" Rachel practically yelled into his phone. "When are you leaving your office? I thought we were meeting for dinner."

"I'm sorry Rachel. I lost track of the time. Ten more minutes and I'm on my way." Kurt promised.

Ah Rachel. Kurt really did love her and he was eternally grateful that they had managed to maintain their friendship through all of the drama since they left McKinley High and Lima behind eight years ago. While disappointed Kurt did not get into NYADA like Rachel did, it really did turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Rachel struggled at first, being faced with thousands of other Rachel Berrys out there. She was now starring in an off Broadway play and even though she was disappointed that it was not technically Broadway, she was the star of the show and she has gotten rave reviews. She knew it was only a matter of time before she was starring on Broadway for real.

Rachel and Finn had broken up after a year of trying to do the long distance relationship thing. It was for the best. Finn was helping out Kurt's dad at the tire shop back home. New York wasn't really the place for Finn. He is more of a small town guy. Rachel was now dating a wonderful guy, Marc, and they had been together for two years. Kurt was glad to no longer be in the middle of his best friend and step brother.

Kurt on the other hand was newly single. All of this work he was putting into his maybe-fashion line finally took its toll on his last relationship. He understood why Caleb felt like he had to move on. They had been together for less than a year and honestly, Kurt wasn't too upset when that relationship ended. Although he would never admit it to anyone, including Rachel, Kurt really hadn't put his entire heart into any of his relationships since Blaine broke it. More like pulled it out of his chest, stomped on it and then shattered it into pieces. Besides, being in love was too distracting. That's why he never dated anyone for longer than a year. He worked too hard and he was too afraid of feeling that same devastating feeling of heartbreak again. He promised himself that he would never experience that again. Being on top of the fashion world would be plenty satisfying enough.

"Sorry Rachel. I really didn't mean to lose track of time and forget our dinner date. It's just that the season is coming to a close and I really need to make sure that my portfolio is perfect for Ms. Spencer. You do realize that in the past three years, I've only had four conversations with her. This is HUGE!" Kurt said.

"Yes, Kurt. I realize what an opportunity this is for you. I'm sending you nothing but good thoughts, but you can't forget about our Monday night dinners. I know how important your Friday night dinners with your family were when you were back home. This is the perfect way for us to keep our friendship from failing. Aside from the occasional phone call from Mercedes, we don't have contact with anyone from high school anymore and I really treasure the length our friendship has endured." Rachel was lecturing him.

"How quickly you forget about Finn" Kurt said under his breath.

"I did not forget about Finn!" Damn, Rachel had heard that after all. "Finn and I broke up years ago and though I don't regret my high school sweetheart and I cherish those memories, Marc and I are the real deal. Besides, despite everything, I doubt you regret your high school sweetheart."

"Rachel, we are NOT talking about Blaine. You and Finn had a mature breakup after realizing that you two were heading in different directions. Plus, Finn was miserable here. Blaine and I had the same dreams until he…did what he did. Can we talk about something else? You and Marc have been together for two years now. So, when is he gonna pop the question? And, as your best friend, you might want to tell him to come to me for advice when looking for engagement rings."

Rachel was scowling. "Kurt, I know what Blaine did was horrendous, but you are going to have to let your heart open up to someone. Fashion will not keep you warm at night." Seeing as Kurt was dangerously close to getting up and walking out on their dinner, Rachel quickly changed the subject. "Ok Kurt! I'll drop it. Yes, I'll make sure to strongly hint to Marc to see you before looking for engagement rings but honestly, I don't think that will be happening anytime soon. We haven't even discussed marriage or anything. So, how much longer before your meeting with THE Ms. Rosaline Spencer?"

"Three months. I know that might sound like that's a long way off but Rachel, this is my chance to possibly have my own fashion line. MY OWN FASHION LINE! At the House of Rosaline Spencer. Nothing, and I mean nothing is going to get in the way of making sure my portfolio is perfect and my meeting with her is even more perfect."

Blaine was miserable. Then again, he was miserable most of the time. When he was in high school, his dreams did not include following in his dad's footsteps and becoming a lawyer. Yet, here he was, a brand new lawyer at Anderson and Son Law Firm. Blaine knew when his father had added the "and Son" to the title of his law firm that it had been a pretty big deal. It was the first time that Mitchell Anderson had been proud of him. When Blaine came out to his parents at 14 he saw the exact moment his father had begun to distance himself from his youngest son. Blaine's father began to pull away even more when Blaine began expressing his interest in performing. He had trouble understanding that. After all, Blaine's older brother, Cooper, was an actor and while he wasn't a huge TV or movie star, their parents had always supported all of Cooper's crazy adventures. Blaine knew it was because he was gay. He just knew it. Blaine's dad pulled away even more when Blaine began dating Kurt during his sophomore year of high school and when Blaine had announced plans the following year that he wanted to follow Kurt to NYC after graduating high school, he feared he had lost his father forever. So one could imagine Mitchell Anderson's shock when Blaine came to him halfway through his senior year telling him that he might want to become a lawyer after all. Of course his dad was extremely happy and asked several times what changed his mind. The only answer that Blaine would provide was that he and Kurt were no longer together and he wanted the subject dropped permanently and if that meant that Blaine's father did not have to discuss his son's romantic life, the subject was considered dropped.

Blaine deeply regretted what happened with Kurt and he always would. He never wanted to break his heart the way he did. He loved him and he felt like a part of him would always love him. Blaine had a few boyfriends during law school. Trevor was his longest boyfriend. They had dated for three years and Blaine did love him. Not as much as he loved Kurt but he loved Trevor nonetheless. The relationship ended about six months ago when Trevor began expressing interest in marriage and family. Blaine was forced to take a long hard look at his future and try as he might, he could not see marriage and family with Trevor. Surprisingly, Trevor took the news easily. Apparently he had only begun to approach the topic of marriage and children to gauge Blaine's feelings because as fate would have it, Trevor couldn't imagine a family with Blaine either. The easy breakup allowed them to remain friends and Blaine was grateful for that.

It was late when Blaine finally arrived home that night. He turned on the TV as he was walking into the kitchen to grab a beer and the sounds of West Side Story filled his living room. He stopped in his tracks and found himself staring at the TV, memories of his own run as Tony during his junior year of high school flooding his mind, which in turn led to memories opening night and the night he shared with Kurt – their first time. Now his mind was trapped in the horrible memory of their last time and the night he shattered Kurt's heart.

Seven years ago

Kurt and Blaine were laying in bed, cuddled up, post orgasm. Kurt knew something was wrong though. He had felt it the moment he met Blaine at the airport two days earlier. Blaine had insisted that things were fine, he was just tired from finishing first semester exams. Kurt had tried to brush it aside for most of the weekend but here it was, Sunday morning, and Blaine had a flight to catch back to Ohio and Kurt couldn't hold back the questions anymore.

"Blaine, please tell me what's bothering you. I know it's more than just being tired from taking your first semester exams before flying out to see me." Kurt asked.

"Kurt, please can we drop it and just spend the next couple of hours together?"

Kurt had had enough. "Blaine, I've been trying to drop it all weekend. In fact, I've been trying not to notice you pulling way during the past few weekends you've visited. I know that this long distance relationship is hard but we're already halfway through this. We only have six more months and then you're moving here with me. I need to know what's going on."

Kurt was right. Blaine had been pulling away. When Kurt moved to NYC in June, they were both convinced that one year would mean nothing. They would be fine. They both had enough to distract themselves with. Kurt and his first year at fashion school and Blaine trying his best to be the perfect student during his senior year. It turns out that the distractions have been the cause of their collapse.

Sighing Blaine finally opened his mouth. "Kurt, I just don't see this working out. I have been pulling away. I just don't feel like New York is the place for me."

"What?!" Kurt jumped up from the bed they were sharing. He was glad that Rachel had agreed to spend the weekend with one of her girlfriends. "Blaine, you can't be serious! Yes, this has been hard and yes, we haven't had the chance to Skype and visit as often as we wanted to but I still love you and I still really want this. Are you telling me that you don't? That you don't love me anymore?"

Blaine lowered his gaze to the floor. "Kurt, I don't want New York. I don't want this. What I do want is for you to move on, enjoy the New York lifestyle that you were born to live. I don't want to hold you down from achieving your dreams."

"No, Blaine. I don't believe you. You can't even look at me. This isn't want you want."

"Kurt, yes it is. My dreams are no longer about New York or being on stage. I missed the deadline for NYADA auditions and I missed it on purpose. I don't want this. I'm staying in Ohio next year and am going to law school. I'm going to join my father's law firm as soon as I graduate and pass the BAR exam. THAT is what I want."

"NO! That is NOT want you want! You want me. You want us. You've given me no reason to believe that you were doubting a future with me. None. We just made love, Blaine. What was that? A goodbye?"

Blaine was fighting tears and Kurt had let his begin falling a long time ago and Blaine still couldn't look Kurt in the eyes. "Yes, Kurt. It was a goodbye. There will always be a part of me that loves you but this isn't what I want. I'm sorry, I really am but I can't do this anymore."

"Blaine…" Kurt was trying very hard to calm down and try to discuss this on a rational level. It was really hard to do though because he couldn't stop the tears from flowing. "I don't know what has been going on with you the past couple of months but I am not accepting this from you. I'm not. I know you still love me. That…" Kurt pointed at the bed "…was not goodbye sex. That was two people in love expressing their feelings before saying a temporary goodbye. NOT a permanent goodbye. There is nothing you can say to convince me otherwise."

"I cheated on you…with Sebastian"

Yes, Blaine's mind was trapped in that memory. And as often as he tried to push it out of his mind, he was afraid that memory would haunt him for the rest of his days.