Had things always been this way? Had she sat in silence for hours on end, thinking of nothing but her friend? Masumi knew this couldn't possibly be true, yet here she was, once again lost in her own world. This world included no knight in shining armor nor a handsome fairy-tale prince on a white steed. Her world was consumed by the mere image, the hope and desire that her beloved friend experienced the same feeling as she did now.
"You're spacing out again, Masu-chan."
The soft, gentle voice drifted through Masumi's ears; the same voice she had selectively heard in her mind for some thirty minutes. Beside her rested the one person she truly loved, the one person she would do anything for. The girl shifted slightly, glancing back toward the orange-tinted river flowing in front of her.
"I am here for you, if you want to talk about what's bothering you."
Right. She was always there for her, Sayuri was always giving Masumi a shoulder to lean on when times where tough. That was undoubtedly the cause for the swell of emotions boiling inside of Masumi at that very moment. She cared for her so much, yet here Masumi was worrying her once again.
How unforgivable, Masumi thought.
"I know, Sayu-chan. I'm fine, really."
"Oh, are you now? I don't recall you zoning out like that unless something was on your mind."
Both girls sat on one of the many grassy banks just under an over-passing bridge. This was their place, a place they visited often after the school day had dragged by. The sun was setting slowly, as it always seemed to do, leaving the water to its strange coloring.
"Heh. My mind's probably blank from all of the work we had to do, today."
"You sure?"
"Positive. 'Sides, if there was something bothering me, you'd be the first to know."
"I...suppose."
Silence had set upon them once again, leaving an air of awkwardness lingering behind. Regardless of her own words, there was something eating away at her thoughts. Something she knew could never escape the confined space in her heart. But, how badly Masumi wanted to confess.
For years she'd been in love with her best friend and too scared to say anything. Little hints had been dropped along the way, little touches, habits that developed that Masumi thought could very well be the signs she was looking for all along. But were those enough to risk her friendship over? Were they?
"S-say...Sayu?"
Her voice was coaxed with a nervous, worried tone as her eyes remained fastened to the lazed current of the river below. Losing Sayuri's friendship was an unbearable thought, but the restraint in her heart was wearing thin. How much longer would she be able to go on like this? How much longer would she be able to keep things well buried and out of sight? Masumi knew time was very well reaching its end.
"Ah, so you've finally decided to talk, hm?"
"I...I th-think I..."
"You think you what?"
Compared to Masumi's shaky voice and hesitant words, Sayuri's sentences flowed without care. This, however, worried Masumi further. She had hoped that her friend might have some how caught on to what she wanted to say before speaking in a similar fashion. Though, had she really expected such a gracious outcome? She gulped, feeling the increased pressure in her stomach as the churning grew faster.
"W-well...you...you see..."
There was a brief pause as Masumi tried searching for the right words frantically. If she didn't say things right, clear everything up, the confusion might make this situation out to be something terrible.
"Yo-you see, I think th-that I...fo-for a while, I..."
"For god's sake, if you want to say something, spit it out."
"...R-right..."
Sayuri had always been right to the point, so why couldn't Masumi just, as her friend stated, spit it out? The fear she believed to have conquered was merely tucked away, waiting for this moment, the moment when it could steal every last thought away from Masumi.
After several minutes passed by with not so much as another spoken word, Sayuri stood. "It's late, and I promised to be home a little earlier tonight. Please don't sit out here too long, you'll catch a cold."
Masumi nodded, too shaken up to glance away from the now darkened river. Even the current had become consumed by the darkness, the soothing flow no longer visible from that distance. Was this it? Had the chance of confessing slipped through the crevices once again?
Though they were soft, and went almost unheard, Sayuri's footsteps resonated loudly within Masumi's head. Each step speeding the beat of her heart, her lips now mouthing the words she so dearly wanted to speak.
"...I l-love you..." She only whispered it at first, curling her fingers through the moist grass as if clinging on to them for dear life.
"I love you!" This time, it was much louder, if not reaching the volume of a yell. The steady and constant steps had come to an abrupt halt, leaving only the howling wind to fend off the sound of nothingness.
This...is it, then? Masumi's thoughts continued racing, her mind already in a panic. I won't be able to see her anymore...
Suddenly, something collided with her own body with enough force to send her, and whoever else, rolling down the side of the bank and toward the river below. There was no time for even the slightest noise to escape Masumi's throat as she quickly tried to stop herself from meeting the water. Slowly, and just barely, the two figures came to a halt right at the water's edge.
Masumi opened her eyes slowly, trying to break through the darkness to find her 'attacker'. However, her frantic searching had ceased when she felt a slight tug from the warm hands she would always recognize.
"You...yo-you re-really mean that?"
The previous calm tone once held in Sayuri's voice had completely vanished, now replaced by the one Masumi had longed to hear. She knew this mixture of emotions all-too-well, her heart skipping a few beats.
She gulped, "I...I do. I really...I really love you, Sayu."
A small but surely cheerful smile spread across the girl's lips as tears began falling from her eyes, landing softly against Masumi's arm. Had she also felt the same? That pain that never ventured too far from one's heart, poking it with every chance it got? Masumi waited, hoping to hear those very words from her beloved friend.
"I-I'm so...so glad!" Sayuri sobbed, "I tho-thought I was the only one wh-who...who felt that way!"
This was enough to set Masumi's stomach into a churning frenzy, as if thousands of butterflies had instantly began searching for a way out at the same time. Those same words hadn't been spoken, but she was content with hearing just that. She wasn't alone with those feelings, after all. Masumi smiled lightly, pulling Sayuri close. Oh, how she had longed to do that for years.
"I'm...I'm glad. But..."
"Bu-but?"
"I'm al-also sorry...for making you suffer for so long. If I would have...If I would have only said something earlier..."
Sayuri shifted between Masumi's arms, hearing the apologetic tone her friend was taking. This wasn't right. She wanted Masumi to be just as happy as she felt, not apologetic for something she couldn't help. Hesitantly, the brown-haired girl pushed her wet face toward Masumi's, her warm lips soon meeting that of the other's.
Masumi was shocked, but non-the-less thankful. She had been comforted once again by Sayuri, and only hesitated for another moment before returning the kiss. It went slow, at first. Lips pressed against each other, nothing more. Soon enough, however, their warm, wet tongues had met, fighting to push the other back as the girls' hold on each other tightened.
As the kiss slowed again, becoming the sweet, light version it had been in the beginning, the pain had lifted from their hearts. The doubt that once clouded their actions was now lifted, and they were free to be happy. Happy with the one they truly loved.
When Masumi pulled away, her brown eyes gazed into the hazel pair of Sayuri's, though nothing was said. Nothing more needed to be spoken, as they both understood each other perfectly now. Love was no longer a curse for them, it was a blessing. And, as they sat there, taking in each other's warmth, neither doubted such a thing existed anymore.