OH! What's this? An update? Wow it's been a while. A year almost? Let me just say it has been a busy life for me since graduation. And I kinda went on a "I really hate social media in any form" spree for a while. And I KNOW I have TTTC that's still not finished. And my only reason for that is, well I adore Tenzin. So Zutara has been hard... I know... you can hate me. But in my absence, I've been dealing with the zombie apocalypse, chilling with a few bronies, seeing the universe with The Doctor, and learning physics from Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Seriously. SOMANYFANDOMS.
Anywho. This is my first TWD fanfic and I really hope that you guys love it. Don't get me wrong; I'm a Dixon girl since the start. Love me some Daryl ;) I just don't see many Carl fics.
This one is dedicated to Fantasy fan XD for his birthday today.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead...
It's late and everyone else is tucked away in their makeshift beds. The guys have made sure that the windows are blocked so they aren't seen, but that doesn't stop moonlight from peeking through anyway. Carl rolls over on his sheet and tries to ignore how he can still feel how cold the tiled floor is. He thinks his dad is on watch but it's possible that it's Daryl, and he still feels a little hurt at how it's been two months since they left the farm and he still hasn't been allowed on night watch yet.
He sighs quietly and stares at his breath in the air before it disappears. Across from him is his mom. She is on her side facing him and her face is peaceful. He can make out her jaw working though; grinding her teeth has always been a habit. His eyes rest on her belly. It's not nearly as big as he was expecting, but Beth says that at this point a doctor wouldn't even know the gender and he can't help but find that weird. Still, there is a bump there and he feels excitement in his toes when he thinks about it.
He starts to wonder if his parents were planning on this before the world changed. He knows it's a lost thought, but he imagines the world still normal and their house still their house with his room and comics and he wonders if they would've thought about making him a big brother when it was safe. The guest room would have been painted like he's seen on tv and they would unpack his crib from the attic. And his mom would still be happy with his dad and he wouldn't feel like he was betraying the other when he talked to one.
He stops there and swallows the whimper that almost escapes. No more kid stuff, echoes in his mind like he just heard it and he looks around for any sign that he may have made a noise. Maggie and Glenn are on his other side, their feet facing him, and he kinda likes how their legs are all tangled up. Sitting up quietly, he looks around the store they found yesterday and he thinks it's weird how most of the shelves are pushed up against the front windows. It's like being in a school at night.
Standing, he quickly folds the sheets back over each other, hoping maybe the warmth will stay there and he steps over Carol's feet as he makes his way towards the back. There are a couple of shelves left by the soda freezers, but they're empty and he looks at the prices that are written there. Reese's Buttercups - $.98, Hershey Bar - $1.00, Rolo - $.98, Kitka… He immediately thinks of Sophia and doesn't expect the pain from that to be so harsh in his stomach.
"I would do anything for a Kitkat," she said once while they were playing. Sophia wasn't one to complain and hardly said things wistfully. But she had and it was the last thing he can really remember about her. He traces his hand over the shelf where the candy would be and tries to push that sadness away. It's not that he doesn't want to remember her. He just tries to avoid the memories when she would say things that made him realize just how spoiled he may have been.
Deciding that it's too cold to not be under some type of cover, he turns back for his sheets, only to catch a glimpse of something on the floor. There, under the shelf, he can see the corner of something by his foot and he carefully scoots it out with his sock covered toes. To his surprise, it's a completely intact Hershey Bar. Scooping it up, he checks the date and is filled with happiness at the fact that it's still got another year on it. He peels it open, careful not to break any of the blocks (a childhood habit), and stares at the pieces. It looks as if it may have melted on the corners just a little, but it's still the best thing he's seen in months.
Someone stirs in the room and he panics a little as he ducks behind the shelf. Once the movement has stopped, he peeks around and finds everything the same. He suddenly feels silly about hiding a candy bar, but he's completely giddy from the smell of chocolate alone. He knows that he has to portion it. He has to make it last. As he reaches to break off the first piece, he hesitates and thinks about how his mom was saying just two days ago how much she missed sweets. And he knows there's a thing about pregnant women having special cravings or something. And then he thinks of his dad and how he used to sneak them both Kisses before dinner. And now his mind is on everyone and how difficult and unfair that the world is like it is now and how Sophia may have been on to something about doing anything for a sweet.
He feels like a child that's gotten in trouble and slowly starts pulling the wrapper up when his mind stops him again. He scowls at the candy in his hand and then breaks off the piece. He doesn't even hesitate popping it into his mouth and he has to stifle a moan as the taste sinks onto his tongue. He never knew he could forget what chocolate tastes like. He chews slowly, letting the warmth fill his mouth as it dissolves. He immediately feels the need to drink something, but he ignores it. There's no way he's letting this taste go away so easily.
He quickly covers the rest of the candy and then moves quickly to his pack, hiding it in the inside pocket meant for pencils. When he settles into his sheets, the warmth has most definitely left, but he doesn't care. The taste of chocolate is still in his mouth as he drifts off.
The morning seems to take its time, and brings with it fresh snow on the ground. They are all gathered around the fire in a tiny grill they picked up one day and no one minds how the smoke collects in the store before escaping through the cracked door. It's the warmest they've been in weeks and it's wonderful. Rick feels a bit sluggish as he leans against the door and wonders why he insists on all-nighters. While everyone is busy passing out breakfast and chatting, he notices Carl approaching him with a worried look. Rick runs a hand over his face and gives him a small smile. Instead of smiling back, Carl reaches into his pocket and hands a candy bar over to him.
"It's opened," he says almost in a question and Carl looks a little ashamed.
"I had to take the first bite." Somehow, he understands what his son means and he nods slowly. He can tell something's shifted and he's not sure how it makes him feel. It's like his child has just said goodbye to his childhood. Like Carl has moved forward and is ready to forget his toys and games. Sneaking the chocolate was his last childish act for the world.
"Was it good?" Rick asks and Carl instantly lights up. He's smiling down at him good naturedly and Carl laughs a little.
"It was delicious," he says finally and Rick lets a chuckle out as well. "But I want to share a piece with everyone else."
"I think that's a great idea," he replies and he hands the chocolate back to Carl who then proceeds to take a piece to each person.
The room falls quiet as everyone takes in a little piece of Heaven and Carl brings the last two over to Rick. They each take one and smile fondly as they watch the group happily embrace the change in taste. Rick can't help but feel a little sad when the warm feeling dies away in his mouth, but it was a luxury none the less. The chatter has started up again, and this time it seems lighter.
"Don't tell Mom," Carl whispers as he walks away and Rick knows exactly what he means. She already doesn't like Carl being on watch during the day. This transition in her son's mind would only make her depressed and worried.
Rick silently promises though. He also promises that he won't let Carl know he saw him give Lori two pieces instead of one.