Title: Why she needs medication
Pairing: LM/SS, LM/TR,AD/TR
Genre: humor....slash
Raiting: pg-13
Summary: Minerwa was walking through the Diagon Alley one day when Severus/Lucius/Voldi/Albus happened to her.
A/N: This is the final part of the nutterclub serier. Read the 4 previous one's if you have time.
I know you didn't expect to see me here like this… lipstick all over my face and my hair all ruined…
But here I am so listen up little missy…
I need to tell this to someone… or else I will lose it…
About twenty minutes ago I was walking along the Diagon Alley…
It was a nice sunny afternoon… no Dark Lords disturbing my peace…
I took left, right, left, left and then…
Guess what I saw!
Severus Snape, the sexy potion master of Hogwarts, (or so I hear the Hufflepuff say,) snogging roughly a girl with long blond hair…
But wait!
The part where he was actually kissing someone is already shocking, of course…
But, the girl who was now moaning turned out to be none other than Lucius Malfoy, Voldie's right hand in bed and on battlefield… (disturbing… poor Narcissa…)
Greasy hair flying in the wind… long white fingers grabbing the other's ass…
And then Voldemort skipping towards them...
What should I do?
Save Severus and make him pay back dearly… or let Voldie kill him for touching his property?
What did I do?
Oh, sit down, dammit! … I did what I thought was the best thing to do…
Like a good old Gryffindor I dived into the rescue before thinking ahead…
And guess where I ended up!
When Sev saw Voldie he grabbed me into a slobbery kiss to save his ass from certain death…
Lucius almost started to cry… poor boy… it's hard to be a closed case…
I know how he feels… Severus does it every day…
"Aah… Young love… isn't that cute Lucius?" Voldie chirped when he finally arrived with his purple purse (MANpurse he told it was)…
"Yes my Lord… It is nice to see real lovers showing their love in public," Lucius said and went to find a bar…
Severus finally let me go… I gathered myself and scampered away along the street…
But then… who else should I collide with than Albus Dumbledore… coming from Knockturn Alley…
"What on earth were you doing in there Albus?!" I asked and pointed atthe street
"Well… Minerva, you see… um… Now that we are in a war and everything… and Harry needs all the help he can get concerning the prophecy", he faltered with an unsure voice (like he should around me if we were talking about Harry)…
"Dark Lord stuff, Albus?! Masks, fashionable Death Eater cloaks! For what?!" I screamed…
And just when I was going to spank his ass off Voldemort ran towards us yelling something along the lines "…prophecy? Tell me, tell me, tell me! Albuuuss! I will give you my new Harry Potter snitch socks if you tell me!"
I looked Albus sturdily… told him to stay hard and not to tell Voldemort anything…
But of course Voldie had to say: "Albus can be as bending as a snake if he just wants to."
Why did they ever have to be like that?
So, now you see why I need medication and a couple of spells to get rid of the mental image where Severus is kissing me… and where Voldie is seducing Albus…
Hours after Minerva had left the office one Hermione Granger-Weasley was still sitting behind her desk… pondering her life…
All these people… Voldemort, Snape, Harry, Draco, the headmaster, Lucius Malfoy, Minerva, her own husband… all these people were really messed up to the core…
"Well, now I really think I never should have stolen these magical powers from that old lady. I should have thought it over… I wanna go home. Maybe Mr. Filchwould like to have these…" Hermione Granger-Weasley thought before she disappeared for good…