Oh, how I wish that Skeeter woman hadn't published that article. It just made things worse between me and Viktor. He hurts me so bad but I just can't bear to break it off.
I don't even know why I was attracted to him in the first place. He's not very good looking. I suppose he's smart but I don't think that's it. Maybe I'm so materialistic that it was he's celebrity that appealed to me. No, I think the thing that makes me fear him also makes me love him. When I'm with Viktor I'm not just a know it all, perfect, brainchild. He's foreign, older, sophisticated, dangerous and I'm a bit dangerous when I'm with him too. I like that.
I reckon Ron had a bit to do with it too. I've loved him for four years and he's yet to notice I'm a girl. He still sees me as just one of the guys . I'm growing up and i want more than friendship. I'm sick of waiting around for him.
With Viktor things got physical right after we started speaking. He was much more experienced than me and I complied to his every wish. Then, after the Yule Ball he wanted to go a whole lot further then I did. I protested and then it happened. Viktor Krum hit me.
Pain radiated across the entire left side of my face. The hit came so quickly, I couldn't have anticipated it. One minute Viktor was my caring boyfriend with the sad, brown, eyes that I love so much and the next those eyes were filled with anger and he hit me. It wasn't like in the movies where the person being hit just stands there and takes it. I recoiled, hitting my head and cutting it on the statue behind me. There was a moment when I don't think I could feel the pain because I was so shocked. Then it was excruciating.
My face burned as I ran back to the castle. Viktor caught me just as I reached the portrait of the fat lady. He kissed me so gently, cupping my face in his hands." Herm-own-ninny, I love you," he said.
He traced my eyebrow where I had taken the brunt of his hit. "Okay?" now he was staring deep into my eyes. It was almost as if he had touched my soul. The way he said okay, it was like he was asking me to promise that I wouldn't tell. The way his accent lilted and those deep brown eyes that made me want to cry every time I saw them made me fall in love with him all over again. In a moment of weakness I murmured, "Okay," kissed him and walked through the Fat Lady to my bed.
Things just have gone down hill from there. If I don't do what he wants, I get hit. If I spend too much time with Ron or Harry, I get hit. Now it's gotten so that he won't even let me be with Parvati and Lavender. If I'm with him Viktor assumes that I am either flirting or talking about him. And after he hits me he always say "Herm-own-ninny, it isn't my fault you know vhat you did," or "I love you," and I fall for it every time.
The beatings never have a pattern. Today Viktor will be so sweet, tomorrow vicious. Once he hits me he feels guilty and I can count on him to be wonderful for a day, but after that he's a loose cannon.
Now I duck into the privy every time I see someone in the red Durmstrang robes coming down the hall. I love Viktor but I'm afraid of him. My grades are slipping and I spend most of my time in Madame Pomfrey's office making up stupid excuses like, "I walked into a door". Now they've put that stupid article about me and Harry in Witch Weekly. I haven't seen Viktor since they published it. I live in constant fear of the one I love. I know that I need help but I'm afraid of the repercussions and I'm afraid of hurting Viktor.
I don't even know why I was attracted to him in the first place. He's not very good looking. I suppose he's smart but I don't think that's it. Maybe I'm so materialistic that it was he's celebrity that appealed to me. No, I think the thing that makes me fear him also makes me love him. When I'm with Viktor I'm not just a know it all, perfect, brainchild. He's foreign, older, sophisticated, dangerous and I'm a bit dangerous when I'm with him too. I like that.
I reckon Ron had a bit to do with it too. I've loved him for four years and he's yet to notice I'm a girl. He still sees me as just one of the guys . I'm growing up and i want more than friendship. I'm sick of waiting around for him.
With Viktor things got physical right after we started speaking. He was much more experienced than me and I complied to his every wish. Then, after the Yule Ball he wanted to go a whole lot further then I did. I protested and then it happened. Viktor Krum hit me.
Pain radiated across the entire left side of my face. The hit came so quickly, I couldn't have anticipated it. One minute Viktor was my caring boyfriend with the sad, brown, eyes that I love so much and the next those eyes were filled with anger and he hit me. It wasn't like in the movies where the person being hit just stands there and takes it. I recoiled, hitting my head and cutting it on the statue behind me. There was a moment when I don't think I could feel the pain because I was so shocked. Then it was excruciating.
My face burned as I ran back to the castle. Viktor caught me just as I reached the portrait of the fat lady. He kissed me so gently, cupping my face in his hands." Herm-own-ninny, I love you," he said.
He traced my eyebrow where I had taken the brunt of his hit. "Okay?" now he was staring deep into my eyes. It was almost as if he had touched my soul. The way he said okay, it was like he was asking me to promise that I wouldn't tell. The way his accent lilted and those deep brown eyes that made me want to cry every time I saw them made me fall in love with him all over again. In a moment of weakness I murmured, "Okay," kissed him and walked through the Fat Lady to my bed.
Things just have gone down hill from there. If I don't do what he wants, I get hit. If I spend too much time with Ron or Harry, I get hit. Now it's gotten so that he won't even let me be with Parvati and Lavender. If I'm with him Viktor assumes that I am either flirting or talking about him. And after he hits me he always say "Herm-own-ninny, it isn't my fault you know vhat you did," or "I love you," and I fall for it every time.
The beatings never have a pattern. Today Viktor will be so sweet, tomorrow vicious. Once he hits me he feels guilty and I can count on him to be wonderful for a day, but after that he's a loose cannon.
Now I duck into the privy every time I see someone in the red Durmstrang robes coming down the hall. I love Viktor but I'm afraid of him. My grades are slipping and I spend most of my time in Madame Pomfrey's office making up stupid excuses like, "I walked into a door". Now they've put that stupid article about me and Harry in Witch Weekly. I haven't seen Viktor since they published it. I live in constant fear of the one I love. I know that I need help but I'm afraid of the repercussions and I'm afraid of hurting Viktor.