Prologue

September 1st, 2007

The tiny bundle asleep on the bed had no clue that she wouldn't be coming home with me. She would probably hate me for that when she grew up but that would only be because she wouldn't know what I'd saved her from by separating us. She'd hate me worse if I made her suffer through my life.

"There's nothing they can do now, she's here, you don't have to do this and forget about it." A soft voice said from across the room.

I didn't look up. "I won't forget." I whispered. The smell of tears began in my nose before they'd even welled in my eyes yet; I inhaled deeply and wiped my fingers over my eyelids. "I do have to do this, for more reasons than there are not to."

Her tiny features jumped as she twitched in her dreams; eyelids dancing around. It wasn't all that hard to look away. Although I'd spent the past hour staring at her in near silence, I'd never really looked or allowed the bond to cement as most people do the first time they see their children. They let it happen without a fight. I held it off with everything I had left in me.

"Take her," I whispered. "They said she's fine and can go home, take her."

A long moment passed in silence then Edward stood up and slowly moved towards the bed. He sat on the end at an angle facing me; his hand reached for mine and I absently gave it to him.

"I'll see you in a couple of days, 'kay? I'll come and get you from the park." He squeezed my hand firmly as he spoke. I nodded in response. "Don't watch." He advised as he let go of my hand and started turning the baby towards him.

I knew he meant don't watch him leave and I had no intention to. I closed my eyes and waited, listening as he quietly walked from the room. The air in the automatic door shutter whooshed then it clicked into the latch and I opened my eyes.

The room was empty. Just the ugly light green of hospital furniture. Edward had already had all the baby stuff removed—vaguely informing the nurses of the situation, so they knew why we wouldn't be here more than a couple of hours post-birth.

They didn't approve. Clearly. But couldn't do anything about it.

I slipped off the bed and went into the bathroom, showering until all traces and smells of hospital and birth were off me. I had to go home now and pretend I had just gotten my period. Not that my family had even noticed the lack of one for the past eight months.

Naturally, I'd made sure of that. Throwing tampon after tampon down the toilet for one week a month and making sure my mother took notice of the fact I needed more and therefore must have my period.

It's not like trips to the bathroom weren't necessary anyway with a constantly growing baby pressed against my bladder.

Right now they thought I was at school. The school thought I was jigging. I was jigging to have a baby while my parents are at work.

God knows how many lies I've told now. My entire life practically is one.

I dressed in the clothes I'd worn here today and signed myself out just two hours after having a child.

The nurse behind the counter gave me a judgmental look that I almost completely ignored. Almost. I did roll my eyes at her so on some level I noticed the quirked eyebrow.

Being outside made it easier to put on a normal expression. Out here I was insignificant and no one knew what my problem was. I probably looked stoned to be honest, red eyes, distant face like I was looking straight through everything rather than at it.

Being out here was easier.

Any and all questions will be answered to the best of my ability - without giving away future plot points - so ask away.