These are completely random FMA stories that have no plot and, sometimes, make no sense. Ok, I lie: They will NEVER make sense. Some of them are based off actual events, and others are whatever pops into my head.

This particular story is based off something that really happened at my college during dinner one night. I said what Ed says.

Disclaimer- I highly doubt that I own anything.

Daddy

It was a normal day at Central Headquarters. Mustang and his team, plus Edward, were eating lunch and chatting with each other in the cafeteria. Out of nowhere Fuery said, "Our group seems like a family."

Everyone looked at him.

"Ah, um, sorry for the sudden statement!" He blushed a bit and looked flustered. "But…with everyone talking and eating together it made me think of a family dinner. Havoc looked around the table. "You know, thinking about it, I agree with you Fuery. We do look like a family. Look," He pointed to Riza. "There's the mom," He pointed to Roy. "There's the dad," He pointed to Ed. "There's the son," He motioned to the rest of them team. "And we're the relatives."

Riza smacked his hand. "It's not polite to point."

Havoc pouted. "Ow! Hey, I'm not the child!"

"Yet you act like one." She replied.

Havoc pouted again while Fuery tried to conceal his snickering.

"Oi oi, hold on!" Edward shouted. "Mustang is my father? I don't think so!"

"What about Riza as your mom?" Breda asked.

Ed looked at her, considering the matter. "…yeah sure. She could be my new mom. But Colonel God-Complex is NOT my new dad!"

"Yes he is!"

"I think we're taking this too seriously…" Falman said.

"But we have to make Ed confess his true feelings!" Said Fuery.

"True, that is a serious matter."

"What the hell are you all talking about?" Ed practically growled.

"Admit it, you secretly see Roy as a father figure." Jean said, a small smirk on his face.

Ed frowned, folded his arms and looked away. "I do not! I don't see him as my dad! Not at all!"

"Oh, I see…" Havoc said, looking at the others, still smirking.

"Denial." They all said in unison. (1)

"I am not denying anything!"

"Your face is turning red." Breda pointed out.

"With anger!"

"Liar!"

The team began speaking all at once.

"The look in your eyes says you want him to care!"

"You say you hate him yet you've never asked for a transfer for another superior officer."

"He's been your mentor all these years so you must have some attachment."

"Just admit the truth!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Would you all stop?" Roy finally gave his input to the whole ordeal. "Look, this is just pretend, go with it Ed."

He responded by folding his arms and slumping in his chair. "Hmpf."

"Aww, come on," Roy, who was sitting next to him, leaned over and hugged him. "Son." He smiled.

Ed blinked. "…." He slowly put his arms around him, smiling a little and looking like he was about to cry. "D…Daddy…"

Roy smiled back at him, patted his back, the let go and continued eating. He was about to eat his pudding. "Ah, I forgot a spoon." He got up from his seat.

"No! Don't leave me daddy!" The small alchemist said in a panicky voice, reaching his hands toward him.

The Flame Colonel looked at him, one eyebrow raised. "I'll be right back, I'm just leaving for a moment."

"THAT'S WHAT MY OTHER DADDY SAID!" Ed cried out.

"….." The Colonel stood still for a moment before he sat back down at the table. "Could someone go get me a spoon please?"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Did I go too far? Did I hit too close to home? It was funny between my friends and me…

(1) Guess the movie!