Disclaimer: I do not own CSI:NY. I only own this particular idea, the execution thereof and a set of DVDs.

Knowledge

As she watched Danny disappear from sight Lindsay thought about why she was acting this way. Why she hadn't called out to him, taken the chance to say goodbye to him in person, as she had to everyone else.

Mac always told them to "follow the science", but she knew there were exceptions to that rule – and now was one of them. She already knew why, just as she knew why she had chosen a note from the beginning.

Danny was different. He wasn't just a member of the team, wasn't just a friend. She knew this without following anything but her heart. She also knew why she'd tried to pretend otherwise. Her choice to leave a note had nothing to do with being bad at goodbyes – although she really, really was – and everything to with the knowledge that should she talk to Danny in person the words coming out of her mouth would be nothing like the ones she'd used with the others.

They would have nothing to do with "goodbye". Instead they would be "I need you", "I think I love you" and "Please, don't let me go through this alone". That last set of words was why she'd chosen not to do this face to face.

Lindsay wasn't looking for a big, strong man to take care of her. She could take care of herself, thank you very much. She wanted a partner, an equal, and Danny could be that guy, she knew. But, not if she used him as a crutch now. That would unbalance them, and in the end break them.

Also, there was the team to consider. Her absence would leave them shorthanded she knew, just as she knew that they would manage – one way or the other. However, they wouldn't be able to spare both her and Danny. And if she was to let herself be that weak, to ask him to go with her only for it to be impossible... That would be bad. It wouldn't be Danny's fault, of course, but she'd still end up blaming him, resenting him – this too she just knew. This too would break them.

So she'd gone with the note. Yes, it had been short and hadn't really said much of anything, but Danny was good with puzzles. He'd get the real message.

She'd be back. He'd be there. They'd work out.

There was no science to prove that belief, no tangible evidence to back it up. She just knew.

~The End ~