"I'm sorry."
Riku had expected to hear those words. Years ago, after they had returned home from their journey to other worlds, he had realized that his feelings for Sora had changed. How could they not, when he saw how much more caring and strong Sora had become throughout their journeys? Yet at that time, he was still too disoriented from the constant battles to admit them. All he had wanted was peace.
But the feelings didn't go away. They merely grew as Sora reached his own growth spurt and become a handsome young man. A good deal of the baby fat was gone from his face. Not only did his height shoot up, but he gained more muscle. Of course part of it was the fact that Sora continued to train daily, and though Riku certainly didn't slack off, he wasn't quite as dedicated as Sora. Riku figured that the idea of another battle was always somewhere in the back of his mind. He was the key blade master, after all. But for Riku, it was a reminder of what had happened.
With the changes in his looks, Sora began dating, and Riku realized he was jealous of those girls. It was during one of the times that Kairi was not dating Sora (because for some reason, they would break up, date someone else, then start seeing each other again) that Riku admitted his feelings to her. Kairi had told him that he should at least tell Sora, because the worst that could happen would be Sora saying he didn't feel the same way.
Riku felt that the worst that could happen would be Sora hating him. Instead, he just continued to stay friends, and though Kairi knew, she kept quiet herself.
And then came college. Riku had waited for his friends to graduate so that they could go together. It was a surprise when Sora had stated his interest in attending Twilight Town's college, an option available thanks to the new Gummi Ships available for such flights from Radiant Garden. The minute that news had become available to them via King Mickey, they had made several trips to Twilight Town to visit Sora's friends during vacation.
So with the trip to a different world and the added excitement of going to a new school, Riku had felt brave. It was like starting a new adventure, and it was time to finally admit to Sora.
Yes, he had expected to hear a rejection from Sora, but that did not mean that he had been hopeful. Sora hadn't dated for a while and Riku…well, he had never really been interested in dating at all, not with his focus on Sora.
He wanted to laugh at how stupid he felt, to yell at Sora to give him a chance at least, and to cry. Riku cursed the tears that formed in his eyes. He hadn't cried in forever! The results could have been worse after all. Sora could have been completely disgusted with him. Instead of slamming the door in his friends face, he was trying to reach out to Riku, which Riku could not allow. Touching him at this point would only make him more upset, so he jerked away.
"Riku, I'm sorry. I didn't…I mean, I just can't…"
"It's okay. I kinda figured," said Riku, mentally cursing the waver in his voice. "I just need some time, okay? I…I'll see ya."
"Wait!" Sora called out as he started to walk quickly away.
He paused for a second, then said, "I promise I'll be back. I just need to be alone."
He didn't wait for Sora to say another word, merely making his way out of the dorms and out into the night.
Alone was relative, Riku thought as he entered the dance club. Truth of the matter was, Riku hadn't been certain where he was going to go. He didn't want to go to his single, cramped dorm room, and he didn't want to talk to Kairi since Sora was probably going to be there anyway. Eventually he'd face them. They had gone through too much to break away like this. Anyway, at least he knew that neither Sora nor Kairi would abandon him, even if he was gay.
When the three of them had traveled to Twilight Town in order to see the college, they had passed the club. 'Ocean,' he had heard, was a pretty popular dance club for students, and not too far away from the college itself.
To his surprise, it was actually quite a nice place. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but the image in his head was more like that of a dingy bar. However, the tables around the dance floor were all covered in dark table clothes with a single candle on each table so people could sit and drink nearby if they wanted. The walls were painted to purposely look like the waves in an ocean, not that it was something one paid too much attention to with the alternating colored lights changing to the beat of the music. Through some glass doors was another part of the establishment that people playfully called 'land,' though that was not an official title. There, people were able to order drinks as well as to smoke if they wanted to. It was rather a good idea, Riku thought, so people could dance without the smoke, but also could sit, chat and smoke in the quieter part of the building. It was still odd, because only thick glass separated the two parts, so anyone could watch the dancers if they wanted. Riku nearly laughed, wondering how many drunkards had accidentally hit the glass trying to get to 'land.'
He walked onto the dance floor, mindful of those around him, and let the music dictate his motions. All he wanted was to forget his embarrassment for tonight. Tomorrow he'd worry about his actions and go back to being merely a friend to Sora. Some people tried to dance with him, but he would shift just a little, letting them know that he wanted to be alone. He noticed that some of the couples were of the same gender, and he wondered how it would feel if things had been different. Would Sora feel comfortable dancing so intimately in a club? He knew that the establishment had rules on what was and wasn't appropriate, so he knew that though people were willing to grind to a certain extent, he wouldn't have to worry about being molested in front of everyone.
And why he was thinking about such things was really beyond him. The point was to forget for one night, and here he was thinking about how much a person could get away with a significant other without getting thrown out!
He almost laughed, except that an arm sliding around his waist prevented the sound from emerging. His whole body stopped moving, and he nearly would have hit the person had a voice not stopped his arm.
"Why'd you stop, kitten?"
Oh, he knew that voice. He could not forget the time he had spent watching Twilight Town as Sora had slept to regain his memories. He knew Seifer and his band, as well as of Hayner, Pence and Olette. During the few times vacations, they had run across Seifer's gang too. To Riku's chagrin, the first words directed at him from Seifer were, "Who's the kitten?"
"What are you doing?" he said, trying to turn around, but stopped by Seifer's hands moving to his waist.
"Dancing, stupid," came the reply. He tried to say something witty, but the fact that Seifer was pressed up against him, forcing his body to sway with the music, and that the man was also aroused made it very difficult for him.
He shivered as Seifer licked his ear.
"You're crazy," he managed.
He knew that Seifer was smirking even without looking. "Why? You're dancing here all alone and expect people not to want to touch you?" Seifer ran a hand along Riku's naked abdomen. He jerked backwards in response, or tried to. Instead, he just ended up leaning back. Seifer took the opportunity to lick his neck.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he said a bit breathlessly. He should be panicking. He should move away. Seifer was probably just playing with him. But he so desperately wanted to be touched like this.
"I found a lemon, so I'm making lemonade," came the reply.
"You're drunk!"
Seifer snorted. "One drink doesn't make me drunk, kitten."
"You…"
"Shut up and dance already!"
Angry and confused with the situation, Riku finally managed to move with enough force to turn around. Seifer was undoubtedly handsome. He too had become taller, so now they stood nearly the same height. He had opted to keep his hair short, and no longer wore anything to cover it. Tonight, he had worn simple black slacks, boots and a sleeveless turtle neck shirt underneath his usual jacket.
Perhaps turning around was a mistake, because Seifer merely moved with him, pulling him once more against him. One of Seifer's hands moved downward to cup his ass while the other one moved to the back of his head. What he was given wasn't exactly a kiss, because it felt like he was being devoured. His momentary gasp left his mouth open, and Seifer took the opportunity to prove that his tongue was skilled in more things than sharp comments.
It was the type of contact that he craved. It was the feeling of someone finding him attractive. But it was not Sora.
Riku abruptly pulled away, and without a word, nearly ran out of the club. Seifer didn't try to stop him.
What had he been thinking? He cared for Sora, maybe even loved him, but instead he was making out with people he hardly knew just because they were attractive and Sora had rejected him?
He didn't pay attention to where he was going, and after berating himself for several good minutes, finally stopped to look at where he was.
"Well, what have we got here?" said the man approaching him. "You're pretty nice to look at. Wanna play?"
Riku took a step back, frowning. There was no way he was going to go with some random and creepy stranger. He heard footsteps behind him, and looked. There were more men approaching him.
It was right then that he realized he was in trouble.