"Now"

Why Now? Why is this happening Now? Ana-Lucia died a few hours ago and Now Libby. She didn't deserve it…they didn't deserve it.

Not that I was friends with Ana but seeing her laid on the sofa made me remember that we're not safe in this island.

But Libby was a friend ever since Sawyer put her and Hurley together. God! That was so not Sawyer.

Why is he so changed Now? Since the con for the guns our relationship…if we can call it a relationship, was never the same.

We stopped talking as we used to and Jack started making his moves to get in a relationship with me. I was really sorry that I kissed him I felt nothing only guilt after doing it. But Jack wasn't. I could profit with that, at least I was back in the "club". I always end up using people for my own good. Just like Sawyer. I couldn't blame him. We are the same.

Now I'm nothing. I'm just crying for everything that happened in these last days. I let my guards down. I'm sobbing like a baby.

I hear his footsteps. He stands there looking at me. I make a movement to hide my face full of tears but it is too late. He sits beside me, puts his arm around my shoulders and pushes me against him. I feel his hand brushing my hair as I give in to his tender embrace. My head is against his chest brushing his neck, "Come here", he had said. I hear his heartbeat racing as mine is.

I'm not upset anymore about crying in front of Sawyer. We are both showing a side of us that isn't normally there. I didn't use to cry. I prefer the part of the fearless girl. He didn't use to embrace people in such a tender way. He liked the part of the emotionless conman.

I cry for a long time in his chest. I hear Sayid coming in the hatch to see what was happening. I see Locke making coffee. I see Jack going out. He says to Sawyer that he is going to the beach to prepare the funeral. I feel Sawyer nodding. Jack looks at us with jealousy printed in his eyes. But I can't let go of Sawyer. Not Now.

When everyone is gone from the hatch I raise my head to look at him. He had made an effort not to cry I can see in his eyes.

"Are you feelin' better," he asks me as he brushes some tears from my face.

"Yeah," I smile.

We stay there in silence. I feel an urge to kiss him. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.

He breaks the silence, "You want some coffee? Locke left some for us."

"Yeah, sure," I smile at him, "I just need to go to the bathroom to wash my face. I look terrible"

"No, you don't," he says with a seductive smile with dimples included. He stands up and goes to the kitchen. I hide my smile.

When I get back he had already sat and two cups of hot coffee are on the table.

Instead of seating opposite him I seat beside him. That surprised Sawyer. I am in need of human contact, especially his.

We drink our coffee.

"Are you ok?" I ask him after realizing he has been worried about me and completely forgot about himself.

"No," he is truly hurt and doesn't want to hide that from me.

I knew that he was upset by our loss but Ana's death is hurting him deeper than I thought. I want to know why but I'm not going to ask Now.

"What's wrong?" I ask looking at him. He is starring at his cup like it is an interesting object.

"I don't understand why everything is happening Now"

Then he looks at me. His eyes are full of an undiscovered pain. I don't understand why.

Another minute of silence passes.

"I'm sorry," why is he saying this, "For conning you. You didn't deserve it."

"No one did," I shot back.

He nods, "But you are my friend"

I understand what he is saying.

Suddenly he crushes one fist against the table to release all the pain. I jump. I wasn't expecting that. He was going to repeat the movement if I hadn't stopped him. He looks at me.

"Don't do that again," I plead him, "You'll hurt yourself"

"I deserve it"

I take his face in my hands, "Don't", I plead again.

I brush my lips against his in a simple but meaningful kiss.

After pulling back I smile shyly at him and stand up.

"Why did you do it?" he asks me confused.

"You needed it," I answer, "And Now was a great moment to repeat something that didn't work out the first time"

He stands up and embraces me again as if thanking me. I forget about the past, the present and the future. It's just Now.

"Yeah…Now", I hear him say.