Note: just a little silly thing. Don't look at me, this was all Tony's doing :
First published on AO3 with the tags: Humor, Crack, Warning: Loki, Intersex!Loki, Tony's Brand of Diplomacy, Kings & Queens, Future Fic, Established Relationship, Flash Fic, Wordcount: 100-500, Translation, Pregnancy, Pregnant Loki, Mpreg, Pseudo-Incest, Thunderfrost. (Un-betaed for now.)
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Ways of walking
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After two years of infrequent contact, a thing which may or may not have been a blessing, Asgard's new royal couple comes to visit old friends (and foes). Tony's first reaction is to deny the obvious; then horror shifts to fascination and, finally, to uncontrollable laughter. Bruce elbows him hard, trying not to draw attention.
"What has gotten into you?" he asks between his teeth. Neither Thor nor Loki seem too impressed by their welcome. "Try and behave yourself, if you don't mind. Officially, this is a diplomatic mission."
But all Tony manages to do is to double over and point an arm in Loki's general direction, propping himself against his own knee with the other.
"Ohh god... oh god, now everything's clear–that gait! That's why!"
"What gait?" says Steve, keeping aside, while Natasha arches an eyebrow with the attitude of one who knows something.
"Come on, you know, that feline, swaying stride." Tony recovers enough to straighten himself and dry his eyes. He gestures toward the royal consort's pregnant belly, choking on a hysterical giggle. "He kept on swaying all over the place and I thought–but it wasn't the sceptre's fault. Oh, god. Now it all becomes clear: he walks like that because he's got a woman's hips!"
Loki's eyes turn to slits. "Correct or not, I feel I should take offense, Tin Man."
"Hey–"
"Let's stay calm" Bruce begs.
"I only told the truth!" Tony protests with veemence. "Fuck, I'm not the one with a bun in the oven!"
From there onwards, it's normal damage control.
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End notes. Moment of doubt: is "pregnant belly" an expression commonly used? Is it correct? In Italian there's a word which indicates a pregnancy-rounded belly and only that, but translating it literally to "big belly" didn't shove the problem right in the reader's and Tony's face, in my opinion. Lol. I googled and looked up the dictionary, but couldn't find a definite answer. Help? :)
Oh, and feedback is always welcome!