Author's note: This idea came to me after rewatching the first episodes of season two and realizing Desmond had a huge amount of drugs that haven't been mentioned much on the show. I wrote most of it before the most recent episode aired, and as such, Charlie and Claire are still distant, and there's no mention of what Charlie found.
By way of disclaimer: I don't own these characters, and mean no infringement.
This is my first Lost fic. Feedback is so very, very much appreciated.
Test Subject
Claire's cry of pain was loud, anguished, difficult to listen to.
Kate cringed visibly and turned her head away.
"Okay," Jack told his patient gently, "Okay, worst is over, all right? Claire, you hear me? Now that the bone is set, it all gets easier from here on in, I promise."
Claire barely heard him, and Kate wandered a few steps away, shaken.
It shouldn't be like this. They lived in too dangerous a place to not have some form of pain control.
"How bad is it?" A tentative voice from just behind her startled Kate, and she turned to find a hooded Charlie, looking weary.
"She's gonna be okay," Kate told him, forcing a small smile. "She's gonna be fine."
"But she's in pain," Charlie pointed out, sounding pained himself, and Kate nodded reluctantly.
"Yeah. Yeah, Charlie, she's in pain."
Charlie glanced down at his hands, and seemed about to ask something, then changed his mind and wandered away.
Kate stared out at the water for a long moment, far enough away from the crowd that only vague murmurs reached her ears.
She wondered about an idea that had come to her weeks ago.
It seemed more than a little bit risky.
Maybe it was crazy.
But maybe it was necessary, too.
Kate took a deep breath and started making her way toward the hatch.
Jack would return there as soon as he had Claire settled for the night, and when he did, she'd be waiting, and she wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.
…
It was almost an hour later that Jack finally walked tiredly into the central living area of the hatch.
He found Kate dozing on the couch and smiled softly despite himself. He let himself watch her for a moment, calmed by the gentle rise and fall of her chest.
At least someone was resting comfortably. He couldn't say the same for Claire.
He tried to move quietly as he set about preparing a meal for himself. When Sayid had come running up to him earlier in the day, shouting that Claire was hurt, he had immediately jumped into doctor mode, forgetting about himself and setting to work taking care of her.
Calm now, he couldn't ignore his empty stomach.
A few minutes passed in near silence as the oven heated up, and it was a comfortable quiet, the only sound that of Kate's faint, even breathing.
Jack nearly cursed out loud when his elbow bumped an empty water bottle, and it fell to the floor and bounced a few times, hollow plastic bangs and bumps echoing in the room.
Jack watched as Kate's brow furrowed and her eyes opened and she glanced around, disoriented for just a moment.
"Hey," she said casually, and he returned the greeting as she stood and yawned and stretched. "Comfortable couch," she added, by way of explanation, and then grew more serious. "How's Claire?"
"Left her with Locke and Sayid. I tried to talk her into coming here, resting in the bedroom, but she doesn't want to move. Doesn't think it would be good for Aaron, either, with the alarm."
"Where is Aaron?" Kate questioned curiously, realizing she hadn't heard or seen him all night.
"Sun," Jack said simply, and Kate nodded.
Jack stuck a Dharma dinner in the oven, and when he stood up and caught Kate's gaze, he stared at her for a moment.
"What?" he asked, genuinely confused.
Kate looked nervous, hopeful, a little scared and, more than anything, determined.
"Don't say no until you hear me out, okay? I have an idea."
Jack sighed and rubbed his face tiredly.
"Kate, it's really, really late in the day for 'I have an idea'," he said good-naturedly, shooting her a gentle smile. "Can it wait?"
"We don't have to act on it tonight, but I think we should talk it through."
Sighing heavily again, Jack sat down on the couch.
"Okay. I'm listening. But if this is about Rousseau and her traps, I'm way ahead of you. She's caught four of us now – five, actually, since we were both in that net – and one of the others. The traps need to go. I'm going to talk to her as soon as --"
"Great, Jack, but that's not where I was going with this."
He looked up at her expectantly.
Kate took a moment to collect her thoughts, then slowly began her practiced approach.
"We need drugs."
Jack gave her a 'no kidding' look.
"Yeah, we do," he agreed.
"Desmond had drugs."
Jack nodded again.
"Desmond had enough drugs for an army," Jack said amiably, in total agreement. "And I've still got them. But they're unrecognizable, Kate. We've talked about this. I have no idea what they are or what they'll do."
Kate nodded, biting her lip anxiously, but with an almost excited gleam in her eyes. She knew he was about to catch on to her point.
"Don't you think it's time we found out?" she asked quietly but pointedly, her eyes locked on his.
A look of understanding lit in his eyes, and he stared up at her, a little surprised even as it occurred to him that he should have expected this from her.
"I'm not going to like this, am I?" He asked.
"I hereby volunteer to be your test subject, Jack."
She was smiling, and he looked at her incredulously.
"No." He was firm.
"Why?"
"You want the long list or the short one?" he asked emphatically, standing up and starting to pace. "It's insane."
Kate fixed a stubborn gaze on him.
"We were both there tonight, watching Claire suffer."
"And I feel bad about that," he said, nodding, "But that's no reason to… to…"
"Experiment?" she filled in.
"This isn't a joke, Kate!"
"I've thought it through. I have no allergies. I'm young, healthy. I'm the perfect candidate." She stood firm, speaking matter-of-factly, tossing the ball back into his court.
"I am not going to pump you full of foreign drugs just to see what happens."
"We need the drugs."
"We've got the heroin…"
"You said yourself that it's a last resort for the already dying."
Jack shook his head and sat down again, his dinner forgotten.
This was crazy.
"What if they're not all even drugs? What if he's got poison in there somewhere?"
"Come on, Jack!"
"Is it that out of the question in this place?"
"You think he'd store poison among his own meds?"
He hesitated.
Before he could respond, she pushed on.
"We can do this. You examine me, see what you can figure out, drug by drug. We get Hurley to take notes. Keep Sayid around to help out in case we need him --"
"In case of emergency, you mean," Jack filled in, and Kate quieted for just long enough for him to spot a hint of real fear in her eyes. "Why do you have to do this?" he asked her gently. "Why are you so gung ho about risking yourself? It's like with the dynamite, Kate…" he paused, then added thoughtfully, "You act like you owe the world."
A sadness came over her at that, and she stood awkwardly for a moment before sitting down next to him, apparently suddenly fascinated by her hands.
After a few moments of silence, he realized she wasn't going to answer him.
"Kate…"
"If I don't do this, Jack, every time someone gets hurt – and you know they will, over and over again – I'm going to feel responsible, listening to them suffer. We can do this! And if we don't…"
She let him fill in the rest for himself, and stood up to check on his dinner, letting him think.
When she'd pulled what looked like a poor excuse for pasta out of the oven and set in on top of the stove to cool, she stood silently, waiting.
She knew Jack well enough to know that he needed to think things through for himself and convince himself that he was in control.
Sure enough, a few minutes later he started speaking with resolve, his eyes locked on hers.
"We start small."
She nodded, a little bit more afraid now that he'd finally agreed to it.
"Pills first. We'll talk about injections later," he added, and she nodded again.
He let a few moments pass in silence, then stood up and took a few steps toward her.
"When do you want to do this, Kate?"
Kate swallowed. Hard.
"Tomorrow."
…