Title: not what you expected
Pairing: Ray/Robbie
Rating: R
Notes: Umm, this is my fic-a-thon assignment. It's unbelievably late and all I can say is that I suck. Really, Really badly. Um yeah anyways.
Notes2: So I believe it was Poeticquality that I was talking to when I decided that Robbie didn't have a dad (at least not in the 'lives with them or really has much contact period' sense). I'm basing this on the ep My Pal Pronto when Robbie say's "I'm going to a movie with my mom" when Ray asks if he wants to do something with him (that could have been PORN man). I don't think this is something a lot of teenaged boys do with their mother's if their father's are around. If however, it's always been just Robbie and his mommy, then it makes sense for them to be close. (this is my interpretation of canon, consider it Katarin fanon from here on out)
Notes3: Takes place in an offshoot universe from Summer Lovin'. Disregards the entire last arc of season 2 and probably even more. Just use your imagination and if something clashes with canon, assume I've changed it.
Robbie wasn't entirely sure who would be pounding on his door this late at night. He began to have an idea of who it might be when the pounding turned into semi- frantic doorbell ringing. By the time the doorbell was being rung to the tune of 'Mary had a Little Lamb', Robbie was pretty damn certain he knew who it was.
Which didn't explain why he was so surprised once he'd thrown open the door.
"You are so damn lucky my mom's working tonight man. She'd have a..." Robbie's anger trails off, "Ray?"
Ray looks like hell, his clothes rumpled, his hair tousled and a mostly empty bottle of what appeared to Robbie to be vodka clutched in his left hand. Ray just looked up at him with those big brown eyes of his, red rimmed and slightly bloodshot; he'd been crying recently.
"Why don't you come inside man?" Robbie asked, opening the door so Ray could come inside. Ray wasn't moving very steadily, weaving and tripping over everything so Robbie puts one hand at the small of his back and begins to guide him upstairs.
Ray trips on almost every stair (or at least it feels that way to Robbie) and Robbie has to keep him from falling. Eventually though Robbie's half dragging, half carrying Ray up the stairs. He pauses at the top, Ray leaning against him, arm draped over Robbie's shoulders and trying like mad to stand up. Robbie considers just setting him down on his bed and letting him sleep it off but well... Ray's clothes reek. His mother won't be home until tomorrow morning but... even she would have to notice the smell.
"Bathroom it is," Robbie thinks to himself and begins to shuffle-drag Ray in the correct direction.
It isn't hard to get Ray to sit down on the toilet (although honestly it's more of a slump) and once Robbie knows Ray isn't in any immediate danger of falling flat on his face he gets Ray some water.
He doesn't drink it though, just sits there, clutching the little Dixie cup and staring at the small seashell pattern on it. Robbie gets a washrag from under the sink and starts to soak it with cold water.
"Drink that," he tells Ray, wringing out most of the excess water from the rag. Ray does as he asks and once he's finished the tiny cup of water Robbie hands him the rag. "I think you spilled some on yourself man, clean up a little and I'll get you some more water." Robbie leaves the bathroom and jogs downstairs to get Ray water from a real cup, when he gets back, Ray hasn't moved. He's just sitting there with the rag in one hand, dripping water onto his jeans.
"Ray? C'mon man, you have to help me out here," Robbie tells him, grabbing the cloth and placing it on the counter. He reaches out and grabs the hem of Ray's shirt, pulling it up, Ray's arms go up in compliance and Robbie's able to pull it off. He picks up the cloth and begins to swipe at Ray's chest. He isn't sure if it's helping, it smells like Ray might have bathed in alcohol but at the very least Ray seems to be waking up a little. Robbie helps him stand up when he feels Ray's as clean as he's going to get.
"You can use my toothbrush man," he tells Ray and Ray just nods. When Robbie returns from downstairs to retrieve extra blankets and pillows he half expects Ray to be staring at the small globule of toothpaste on the brush while slumping against the counter. He isn't though and Robbie finds himself inordinately pleased to see Ray with a mouth full of toothpaste foam. He hums to himself as he unfolds the bedding and turns towards the door when he hears the bathroom light click off. He can hear Ray shuffling down the hallway towards his room and it's kind of funny, because the walk shouldn't take him this long.
Ray finally comes through his bedroom door though, clutching the walls for balance and generally looking pathetic. He lurches towards Robbie's bed and once he's hunkered down onto it he looks far too grateful for Robbie to push him off. Instead he sits down on the bed also, Indian style against the footboard playing idly with Ray's feet before looking him in the eye.
"What happened man? This..." Robbie gestures to Ray's drunken state, "this isn't you."
Ray laughs at that and it's harsh and bitter sounding and nothing like what Ray's laugh should sound like.
"No, it isn't is it? Because I'm Ray, and Ray is always happy and Ray shouldn't drink and Ray is your best friend, but you don't think of him like that and you thought you could but you were wrong and well, you couldn't anyways because... because... fuck!" Ray screams the last and throws himself face down onto the bed. Robbie thinks he might be crying, but it isn't the sort of things guys talk about with each other (at least, not if you want to be friends the next day, when both parties are sober and the crying is well and truly over).
"So this is about Lily?" Robbie asks dumbly, because Ray is crying, rather hard now and if they can't talk about it then Robbie needs something to talk about and maybe Ray will feel better if he just gets it all out. Ray snorts into the bed covers, but doesn't move or say anything.
Robbie sighs and moves up the bed, he Ray have been friends forever and if Ray can stay quiet about that incident with Robbie and his mother's pink cocktail dress then he's sure Ray will trust him not to say anything about this. He lies down next to him and puts his arms around him. It isn't easy with Ray's face buried in the bedclothes but after a second of laying rigidly in Robbie's arms that changes too. He turns in Robbie's arms and buries his head in his chest. Robbie strokes his back and waits.
"She gave me the 'let's be friends' speech. She sat there and actually said that. She compounded that with the 'it's not you, it's me' kiss off, so I officially feel like the single least attractive person on the planet. I mean, I'm so fucking repulsive, she needs not just one, but a whole army of platitudes. Plus the other thing."
"Other thing?" Robbie asks, hand stoking and Ray can feel his eyebrow arching.
"Yeah umm... Audrey was there, at Lily's house, in Lily's room and she was kind of... they were... umm," Ray trails off and Robbie just looks down at him, eyebrow still arched in question.
"Talking? Knitting? Practicing their ice fishing... what man?" Robbie asks. Voice pitched low, his hands continuing their movement against Ray's back.
"Fucking," Ray tells him, voice flat and an obvious attempt made toward monotone, there's a hitch at the end though, something jagged and painful sounding, "The two of them were on her bed and Audrey's skirt was up around her fucking tits and Lily was... she was... and this would all be fantastic if it had just been a really graphic wet dream but no, it's real and the girl I've spent most of my life being in love with is a lesbian. The kind that absolutely doesn't have sex with guys. Especially guys who she sees as 'more like a brother than anything else'"
Ray tries to pitch his voice higher, mocking Lily's bright chirp, but it catches at the end and before Robbie can even think of something to say to that Ray's face is pressed up against his chest again and he's absolutely sobbing.
Robbie wishes he were the sort of person that could talk trash about Lily and her newly discovered sexuality. Wishes he could call her a dyke or something equally vile, just let hate drip off his tongue, but he isn't. He likes Lily, they're friends and Ray is her friend too (even if he doesn't feel like it right now) and saying things like that won't make him feel anything but dirty. Not to mention how self defeating it would be.
"Is it all of us?" Ray asks and Robbie has no clue what he's trying to ask, "Is Travis gay too? Because really if I'm the only straight guy at RFR we should be making like Pride statements or something, I wouldn't mind and I'm sure you'll earn plenty of points with the queer community.
Robbie has to smile at that because well, if Lily's batting for the other team now, that really does just leave Ray to uphold heterosexuality at the station.
"We could get you a t-shirt man," Robbie tells him, laughing into his ear, "'Straight Guy' on the front and 'I'm just keeping it real' on the back. You'd be the token straight guy, you can provide the superfluous commentary, 'as a straight man, I feel...' It'd be gold man"
"Yeah," Ray says a bit morosely but his eyes don't look like gaping holes of sorrow anymore so Robbie's happy. They lay there for some time, Ray's head on his chest, Robbie stroking his hands over Ray's back.
"I'm really going to miss her, miss it. It's strange to think I won't have my Lily obsession anymore, that it's all over. I... I really did love her," Ray whispers the last, tucking his head against Robbie's neck.
Robbie can remember, vividly, all the times they've done this before. He remembers walking to Ray's house at night, just leaving a note for his mom and walking out the door, knocking on Ray's front door and going straight up to his room. Robbie could feel the pity from Ray's family and he didn't like it, he didn't resent it (it did convince them to let him come over whenever he wanted), but he never really liked it.
He used to walk into rooms and suddenly the conversation would stop completely and he knew they had been talking about him. 'Poor little boy' 'Never thought much of that good for nothing father of his' 'Well sure now that she isn't in the hospital any more she can take care of him' 'What'll happen to him without a father, I heard they grow up to be delinquents' It was always there, he could feel it in the background, like bees buzzing in his head, pity and sadness but always a hint of reproach, like he or his mother had done something wrong, and it drove him towards Ray. His mother had enough to worry about; Ray would take care of him.
And he always had. Even if Robbie had waken him up (which was often the case) Ray would simply lift up his covers and let Robbie slide in. He'd hold onto him and stroke his back and let Robbie bury his head in his chest to muffle the sobs that he occasionally let out. And then he'd talk to him; tell him it wasn't his fault and it wasn't his mother's; that they hadn't asked for this and that they didn't deserve it. Robbie always fell asleep to Ray's soft voice and it drowned out the buzzing for a while.
"Shhh," Robbie says holding Ray close, "it's okay, all right. It's going to be different but it won't be that bad. I know you man, you can totally get through this."
"Déjà vu huh?" Ray asks, looking up at him and smiling a little. Robbie just smiles back and keeps stroking over Ray's back.
"You really will still be friends," Robbie tells him, "and it won't be that different and well, at least you know. At least now you won't keep going after this impossible dream.
It isn't much comfort but Ray quiets and Robbie lays there with him, listening to his breathing. Just when he thinks it's evening out and Ray's headed towards sleep he speaks.
"Do you ever think about it?" he asks and again despite his degree in Ray- ese he has no clue what Ray's asking.
"Think about what," he asks.
"Summer Camp?" he asks and he doesn't actually have to say anything else. They went to summer camp for four years in a row but there's only one memory that he replays over and over again (usually while jerking off). This really isn't something you talk about when your best friend has been severely rejected by the girl of his dreams. Especially when said best friend is still technically drunk
"Go to sleep Ray, if you want to talk about it we will in the morning," Robbie tells him and starts to roll away from him, he has a pile of blankets on the floor and they're practically calling his name.
Ray rolls over onto him though and that cuts off his exit rather quickly.
"I think about it," Ray says, "I think about it a lot. To much really, way to much for a straight guy."
"Ray..." Robbie starts and he can hear the petulance in his voice.
"You think I'm still drunk!" he yells and Robbie is again very thankful for his mother working the night shift. "I'm not!" he asserts and if his eyes weren't so oddly dilated and if Robbie couldn't smell the faint alcohol smell that still wafted off him and if Robbie were in fact retarded... he might believe him. But he doesn't and proves this by pushing Ray off and quickly getting out of bed. He feels Ray grab his hand and he turns to face him.
"Maybe I'm a little drunk right now," he says and Robbie wants to laugh at the understatement, "but I haven't been drunk all the nights I've jerked off thinking about it and I wasn't drunk when it happened so maybe you should pay attention to what I'm saying."
It would be easy to listen to him, easier than Robbie wants to admit, it's a cliché, to be in love with your straight best friend, but it's how Robbie's always felt and it really looks like he might be getting his wish.
"Please Robbie," Ray asks him, pulling him back down onto the bed. Robbie lets him and doesn't really think of anything until he feels Ray's mouth against his.
It isn't their first kiss, they kissed a lot at camp, but it feels different, Ray feels different. It probably has something to do with how much Ray has grown up since the last time they did this but Ray feels more solid against him and Robbie has to admit to liking that. He tastes different too, minty fresh from the toothpaste and oddly familiar, but whether that's because it's his toothpaste or because he remembers exactly what Ray tastes like is anyone's guess.
"Ray," Robbie gasps out, pulling away because it's to much, to much to be handed this and have it all taken away when Ray's sober in the morning.
"Shhh," Ray whispers against his throat, his shoulders, kissing and biting at everything. Robbie can feel Ray's hand snaking down towards his erection, the erection that's been steadily growing since Ray brought up summer camp.
He wants to tell Ray to stop, wants to make Ray sleep it off and save both of them a little embarrassment in the morning. But Ray's hands feel amazing against him and before he knows it he's arching up into Ray's touch and begging for Ray to go faster. Ray kisses him, deep and hot with lots of tongue and Robbie wants to cry when he pulls away.
He doesn't just stop the kiss he stops everything, pulling his hand away as he sits up.
"Wha?" Robbie gasps out, displeasure evident in his nonsensical murmur. Ray isn't paying attention though, he's shifting on the bed, moving his body down, and he's swaying a little, unsteady but he looks determined. Robbie doesn't think he'll do it, until Ray's pulling his shorts down and his cock out.
Robbie thinks he might pass out from the feel of Ray's tongue on him, tentative but not shy. It's obvious Ray wants to do this, Robbie can feel it in the way his tongue snakes over the head of his cock just before Ray takes him into his mouth. It's wet and warm and Robbie can feel Ray's tongue moving so slowly and the beginnings of light suction and...
"Umm Ray?" Robbie asks when all the movement stops. When Ray doesn't answer he leans himself up onto his elbows and looks down.
"Fucker!" he yells (and once again thanks god his mother is working tonight) and pushes Ray off of him. He pulls up his shorts and arranges Ray into a more comfortable sleeping position.
"You wake up Brenan and I'm gonna kick your ass," Robbie tells him before turning out the lights.
Ray is surprisingly not vomiting when Robbie shakes him awake in the morning. He isn't much of anything but non responsiveness is par for the course when it comes to Ray in the morning.
"Robbie?" he asks once he's awake enough to turn over, 'Robbie why are you in my room?"
"Try again man," Robbie tells him, getting up to brush his teeth. He's rinsing his toothbrush when he hears Ray scream.
"Fuck!," he hears as he walks back towards his room. He isn't sure if that was 'fuck' meaning 'I'm having my heterosexual freak out about having a guy's dick in my mouth' or just a 'fuck' of the general 'almost blowing my best friend variety' so he doesn't panic. If hanging out with Travis has taught him anything it's how to remain calm in bizarre situations.
"Hurray for Buddha," Robbie thinks to himself as he crosses the threshold into his room. Ray's staring at the door with a stricken look on his face and Robbie can feel his second hand pseudo Zen crumbling.
"I am so sorry man," Ray says before Robbie can think of some way to diffuse the situation, "That was probably the single worst thing that could ever happen to a guy. If you want to kick my ass or something for the cock tease then um, go ahead because man, that was the worst." He puts his face in his hands and Robbie releases the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Ray isn't pissed about the almost-sex; Ray isn't going to throw things or anything, thank god.
"So, you not like freaked out right?" Robbie asks, sitting on the bed next to him.
"Oh I'm plenty freaked out Robbie," Ray answers his voice a bit scratchy from all the crying he did last night, "this is me doing my Travis impression, on the inside I'm jumping up and down and screeching like a girl but I'm not going to show you that. Bad enough you've seen me cry and be shitfaced before this relationship has even gotten off the ground, you see me screech like a girl and I have to throw in the towel and move to Tibet. Then I'll really have my Travis impression down."
Robbie has to laugh at that and just as he's really getting into the feel of that particular weight being lifted off his chest he feels Ray's hands on his face, cupping his cheek.
"Besides, I didn't say or do anything I haven't wanted to for an obscenely long time," Ray tells him, eyes clear and deep and brown like they've always been and kisses him.
It's better than the night before (despite the slight morning tang in Ray's mouth) because Ray's really into it and Robbie isn't fighting against his better judgment. Ray's kisses are even hotter now that he's sober and Robbie can feel the slick slide of Ray's tongue all the way down to his toes. He can still feel how Ray's tongue felt against his neck, his shoulders, his cock and the all over muscle memory of his causes him to shudder.
Ray pulls away a little when he feels it and he smiles down at Robbie. And just the smile alone has more heat than every porn movie Robbie's ever seen and it's a no brainer to thrust up against Ray. Thrust against the hot, hard resistance of Ray's body over his. He clutches at Ray's back and pushes himself up and into Ray, trying to pull Ray's mouth down to his. Ray comes down, but he doesn't move back in to kiss him. Instead he moves his mouth over Robbie's throat and up towards his ear.
"If I remember correctly, I left something unfinished last night," he breaths out and it isn't as seductive as Ray's obviously trying for it to be but when some one's offering to suck your cock, it isn't a very good idea to criticize their seduction technique.
Ray's hand reaches between them and his fingers fumble a little at the button and zipper of Robbie's jeans. They both hold their breath when Ray starts to lower the zipper and don't let them out until it's down. They both look at each other and laugh when they realize what they're doing.
"You don't have to you know," Robbie tells him, fingers caressing down Ray's still exposed back.
"I want to," Ray tells him and leans in to kiss him. He starts jacking Robbie slowly, keeping up a gentle rhythm while he assaults Robbie's mouth with his. It's still wet and hot but there's an urgency that wasn't there a minute ago. An urgency he can taste in the air seconds later when Ray pulls his mouth away from Robbie's, brown eyes twinkling lasciviously down at him.
He feels Ray shift down between his legs, pulling his shorts off completely before lying on his stomach, face inches away from Robbie's steadily leaking cock. Ray's mouth on him isn't a surprise this time, but it's no less intense. He can feel Ray's tongue moving against him, slowly but establishing a rhythm of a sort. His fingers are wrapped around the base and they move up and down in time with Ray's tongue. It isn't long before Ray is sucking him in and out, bobbing his head slightly and it's one of the hottest things he's ever seen, his cock disappearing in and out of Ray's open mouth.
When Ray begins to move faster, mouth sucking on the up stroke and tongue swirling on the down stroke, Robbie sees Ray's thighs begin to move him against the sheets. He feels Ray moan around him, hips picking up speed as he rubs himself off against the sheets and Ray's mouth speeds up to keep the same pace. Then Ray's other hand disappears and Robbie knows he's jacking himself off with it. His fingers curl into fists against Ray's back as he squeezes at the base of Robbie's cock a little harder with his hand and swirls his tongue against the head more often.
Robbie takes a second to think about how Ray must look, fingers wrapped around his own cock and pumping furiously and his lips stretched around Robbie, lips spit shiny and red. Robbie can feel the way Ray's body freezes slightly before he shudders into orgasm and he knows he's about to follow him.
"Ray, I'm gonna," he warns but it's to late. He cums into Ray's mouth and Ray chokes a little, pulling off and spitting onto the floor next to Robbie's bed. Robbie takes a second to hope he had a shirt or something there before deciding he doesn't care. He much to sated and happy to let anything bother him. This has been a favorite jerk off fantasy of his for over a year now and it's finally happened. He closes his eyes, hoping Ray will lie down next to him and sleep for a little while with him, when he hears keys in the front door.
"Robbie honey," his mother's voice calls upstairs a few seconds later, tired and weary and Robbie practically jumps out of bed, looking around frantically for his shorts. He spots them on the other side of his bed and... of course Ray spit the cum onto them, why wouldn't he, it isn't like Robbie was going to need those boxers anytime soon.
"Up here mom, just a second," he calls back so she won't come looking for him and continues his search for sleepwear. A pair of boxers hit him in the face and Robbie looks up, stunned, at Ray's grinning face.
"Calm down," he whispers, "you go down there this antsy she's liable to call the psychiatric ward on you."
And it's unlikely but Ray has a point. Robbie takes a deep breath, centering himself "This is my Travis face," he thinks to himself as he pulls the boxers on. He has to loan a shirt to Ray (seeing as his own is in the bathroom and reeks of alcohol) but by the time they're downstairs Robbie isn't freaking out any more.
Robbie's mother isn't upset that Ray had slept over and just nods tiredly at whatever excuse Ray conjures up, Robbie has to remember to ask Ray what he told her. Robbie's making her breakfast when Ray brushes by him to get to the refrigerator.
"Promise me something," Robbie asks him in a hushed tone, his hand resting on Ray's hip, at Ray's nod he squeezes slightly, "Promise me sex with you will end with something as low key as sleep or like a snuggle at some point in our relationship."
"I'm not making any promises McGrath," Ray replies laughing, but I'll try."
Pairing: Ray/Robbie
Rating: R
Notes: Umm, this is my fic-a-thon assignment. It's unbelievably late and all I can say is that I suck. Really, Really badly. Um yeah anyways.
Notes2: So I believe it was Poeticquality that I was talking to when I decided that Robbie didn't have a dad (at least not in the 'lives with them or really has much contact period' sense). I'm basing this on the ep My Pal Pronto when Robbie say's "I'm going to a movie with my mom" when Ray asks if he wants to do something with him (that could have been PORN man). I don't think this is something a lot of teenaged boys do with their mother's if their father's are around. If however, it's always been just Robbie and his mommy, then it makes sense for them to be close. (this is my interpretation of canon, consider it Katarin fanon from here on out)
Notes3: Takes place in an offshoot universe from Summer Lovin'. Disregards the entire last arc of season 2 and probably even more. Just use your imagination and if something clashes with canon, assume I've changed it.
Robbie wasn't entirely sure who would be pounding on his door this late at night. He began to have an idea of who it might be when the pounding turned into semi- frantic doorbell ringing. By the time the doorbell was being rung to the tune of 'Mary had a Little Lamb', Robbie was pretty damn certain he knew who it was.
Which didn't explain why he was so surprised once he'd thrown open the door.
"You are so damn lucky my mom's working tonight man. She'd have a..." Robbie's anger trails off, "Ray?"
Ray looks like hell, his clothes rumpled, his hair tousled and a mostly empty bottle of what appeared to Robbie to be vodka clutched in his left hand. Ray just looked up at him with those big brown eyes of his, red rimmed and slightly bloodshot; he'd been crying recently.
"Why don't you come inside man?" Robbie asked, opening the door so Ray could come inside. Ray wasn't moving very steadily, weaving and tripping over everything so Robbie puts one hand at the small of his back and begins to guide him upstairs.
Ray trips on almost every stair (or at least it feels that way to Robbie) and Robbie has to keep him from falling. Eventually though Robbie's half dragging, half carrying Ray up the stairs. He pauses at the top, Ray leaning against him, arm draped over Robbie's shoulders and trying like mad to stand up. Robbie considers just setting him down on his bed and letting him sleep it off but well... Ray's clothes reek. His mother won't be home until tomorrow morning but... even she would have to notice the smell.
"Bathroom it is," Robbie thinks to himself and begins to shuffle-drag Ray in the correct direction.
It isn't hard to get Ray to sit down on the toilet (although honestly it's more of a slump) and once Robbie knows Ray isn't in any immediate danger of falling flat on his face he gets Ray some water.
He doesn't drink it though, just sits there, clutching the little Dixie cup and staring at the small seashell pattern on it. Robbie gets a washrag from under the sink and starts to soak it with cold water.
"Drink that," he tells Ray, wringing out most of the excess water from the rag. Ray does as he asks and once he's finished the tiny cup of water Robbie hands him the rag. "I think you spilled some on yourself man, clean up a little and I'll get you some more water." Robbie leaves the bathroom and jogs downstairs to get Ray water from a real cup, when he gets back, Ray hasn't moved. He's just sitting there with the rag in one hand, dripping water onto his jeans.
"Ray? C'mon man, you have to help me out here," Robbie tells him, grabbing the cloth and placing it on the counter. He reaches out and grabs the hem of Ray's shirt, pulling it up, Ray's arms go up in compliance and Robbie's able to pull it off. He picks up the cloth and begins to swipe at Ray's chest. He isn't sure if it's helping, it smells like Ray might have bathed in alcohol but at the very least Ray seems to be waking up a little. Robbie helps him stand up when he feels Ray's as clean as he's going to get.
"You can use my toothbrush man," he tells Ray and Ray just nods. When Robbie returns from downstairs to retrieve extra blankets and pillows he half expects Ray to be staring at the small globule of toothpaste on the brush while slumping against the counter. He isn't though and Robbie finds himself inordinately pleased to see Ray with a mouth full of toothpaste foam. He hums to himself as he unfolds the bedding and turns towards the door when he hears the bathroom light click off. He can hear Ray shuffling down the hallway towards his room and it's kind of funny, because the walk shouldn't take him this long.
Ray finally comes through his bedroom door though, clutching the walls for balance and generally looking pathetic. He lurches towards Robbie's bed and once he's hunkered down onto it he looks far too grateful for Robbie to push him off. Instead he sits down on the bed also, Indian style against the footboard playing idly with Ray's feet before looking him in the eye.
"What happened man? This..." Robbie gestures to Ray's drunken state, "this isn't you."
Ray laughs at that and it's harsh and bitter sounding and nothing like what Ray's laugh should sound like.
"No, it isn't is it? Because I'm Ray, and Ray is always happy and Ray shouldn't drink and Ray is your best friend, but you don't think of him like that and you thought you could but you were wrong and well, you couldn't anyways because... because... fuck!" Ray screams the last and throws himself face down onto the bed. Robbie thinks he might be crying, but it isn't the sort of things guys talk about with each other (at least, not if you want to be friends the next day, when both parties are sober and the crying is well and truly over).
"So this is about Lily?" Robbie asks dumbly, because Ray is crying, rather hard now and if they can't talk about it then Robbie needs something to talk about and maybe Ray will feel better if he just gets it all out. Ray snorts into the bed covers, but doesn't move or say anything.
Robbie sighs and moves up the bed, he Ray have been friends forever and if Ray can stay quiet about that incident with Robbie and his mother's pink cocktail dress then he's sure Ray will trust him not to say anything about this. He lies down next to him and puts his arms around him. It isn't easy with Ray's face buried in the bedclothes but after a second of laying rigidly in Robbie's arms that changes too. He turns in Robbie's arms and buries his head in his chest. Robbie strokes his back and waits.
"She gave me the 'let's be friends' speech. She sat there and actually said that. She compounded that with the 'it's not you, it's me' kiss off, so I officially feel like the single least attractive person on the planet. I mean, I'm so fucking repulsive, she needs not just one, but a whole army of platitudes. Plus the other thing."
"Other thing?" Robbie asks, hand stoking and Ray can feel his eyebrow arching.
"Yeah umm... Audrey was there, at Lily's house, in Lily's room and she was kind of... they were... umm," Ray trails off and Robbie just looks down at him, eyebrow still arched in question.
"Talking? Knitting? Practicing their ice fishing... what man?" Robbie asks. Voice pitched low, his hands continuing their movement against Ray's back.
"Fucking," Ray tells him, voice flat and an obvious attempt made toward monotone, there's a hitch at the end though, something jagged and painful sounding, "The two of them were on her bed and Audrey's skirt was up around her fucking tits and Lily was... she was... and this would all be fantastic if it had just been a really graphic wet dream but no, it's real and the girl I've spent most of my life being in love with is a lesbian. The kind that absolutely doesn't have sex with guys. Especially guys who she sees as 'more like a brother than anything else'"
Ray tries to pitch his voice higher, mocking Lily's bright chirp, but it catches at the end and before Robbie can even think of something to say to that Ray's face is pressed up against his chest again and he's absolutely sobbing.
Robbie wishes he were the sort of person that could talk trash about Lily and her newly discovered sexuality. Wishes he could call her a dyke or something equally vile, just let hate drip off his tongue, but he isn't. He likes Lily, they're friends and Ray is her friend too (even if he doesn't feel like it right now) and saying things like that won't make him feel anything but dirty. Not to mention how self defeating it would be.
"Is it all of us?" Ray asks and Robbie has no clue what he's trying to ask, "Is Travis gay too? Because really if I'm the only straight guy at RFR we should be making like Pride statements or something, I wouldn't mind and I'm sure you'll earn plenty of points with the queer community.
Robbie has to smile at that because well, if Lily's batting for the other team now, that really does just leave Ray to uphold heterosexuality at the station.
"We could get you a t-shirt man," Robbie tells him, laughing into his ear, "'Straight Guy' on the front and 'I'm just keeping it real' on the back. You'd be the token straight guy, you can provide the superfluous commentary, 'as a straight man, I feel...' It'd be gold man"
"Yeah," Ray says a bit morosely but his eyes don't look like gaping holes of sorrow anymore so Robbie's happy. They lay there for some time, Ray's head on his chest, Robbie stroking his hands over Ray's back.
"I'm really going to miss her, miss it. It's strange to think I won't have my Lily obsession anymore, that it's all over. I... I really did love her," Ray whispers the last, tucking his head against Robbie's neck.
Robbie can remember, vividly, all the times they've done this before. He remembers walking to Ray's house at night, just leaving a note for his mom and walking out the door, knocking on Ray's front door and going straight up to his room. Robbie could feel the pity from Ray's family and he didn't like it, he didn't resent it (it did convince them to let him come over whenever he wanted), but he never really liked it.
He used to walk into rooms and suddenly the conversation would stop completely and he knew they had been talking about him. 'Poor little boy' 'Never thought much of that good for nothing father of his' 'Well sure now that she isn't in the hospital any more she can take care of him' 'What'll happen to him without a father, I heard they grow up to be delinquents' It was always there, he could feel it in the background, like bees buzzing in his head, pity and sadness but always a hint of reproach, like he or his mother had done something wrong, and it drove him towards Ray. His mother had enough to worry about; Ray would take care of him.
And he always had. Even if Robbie had waken him up (which was often the case) Ray would simply lift up his covers and let Robbie slide in. He'd hold onto him and stroke his back and let Robbie bury his head in his chest to muffle the sobs that he occasionally let out. And then he'd talk to him; tell him it wasn't his fault and it wasn't his mother's; that they hadn't asked for this and that they didn't deserve it. Robbie always fell asleep to Ray's soft voice and it drowned out the buzzing for a while.
"Shhh," Robbie says holding Ray close, "it's okay, all right. It's going to be different but it won't be that bad. I know you man, you can totally get through this."
"Déjà vu huh?" Ray asks, looking up at him and smiling a little. Robbie just smiles back and keeps stroking over Ray's back.
"You really will still be friends," Robbie tells him, "and it won't be that different and well, at least you know. At least now you won't keep going after this impossible dream.
It isn't much comfort but Ray quiets and Robbie lays there with him, listening to his breathing. Just when he thinks it's evening out and Ray's headed towards sleep he speaks.
"Do you ever think about it?" he asks and again despite his degree in Ray- ese he has no clue what Ray's asking.
"Think about what," he asks.
"Summer Camp?" he asks and he doesn't actually have to say anything else. They went to summer camp for four years in a row but there's only one memory that he replays over and over again (usually while jerking off). This really isn't something you talk about when your best friend has been severely rejected by the girl of his dreams. Especially when said best friend is still technically drunk
"Go to sleep Ray, if you want to talk about it we will in the morning," Robbie tells him and starts to roll away from him, he has a pile of blankets on the floor and they're practically calling his name.
Ray rolls over onto him though and that cuts off his exit rather quickly.
"I think about it," Ray says, "I think about it a lot. To much really, way to much for a straight guy."
"Ray..." Robbie starts and he can hear the petulance in his voice.
"You think I'm still drunk!" he yells and Robbie is again very thankful for his mother working the night shift. "I'm not!" he asserts and if his eyes weren't so oddly dilated and if Robbie couldn't smell the faint alcohol smell that still wafted off him and if Robbie were in fact retarded... he might believe him. But he doesn't and proves this by pushing Ray off and quickly getting out of bed. He feels Ray grab his hand and he turns to face him.
"Maybe I'm a little drunk right now," he says and Robbie wants to laugh at the understatement, "but I haven't been drunk all the nights I've jerked off thinking about it and I wasn't drunk when it happened so maybe you should pay attention to what I'm saying."
It would be easy to listen to him, easier than Robbie wants to admit, it's a cliché, to be in love with your straight best friend, but it's how Robbie's always felt and it really looks like he might be getting his wish.
"Please Robbie," Ray asks him, pulling him back down onto the bed. Robbie lets him and doesn't really think of anything until he feels Ray's mouth against his.
It isn't their first kiss, they kissed a lot at camp, but it feels different, Ray feels different. It probably has something to do with how much Ray has grown up since the last time they did this but Ray feels more solid against him and Robbie has to admit to liking that. He tastes different too, minty fresh from the toothpaste and oddly familiar, but whether that's because it's his toothpaste or because he remembers exactly what Ray tastes like is anyone's guess.
"Ray," Robbie gasps out, pulling away because it's to much, to much to be handed this and have it all taken away when Ray's sober in the morning.
"Shhh," Ray whispers against his throat, his shoulders, kissing and biting at everything. Robbie can feel Ray's hand snaking down towards his erection, the erection that's been steadily growing since Ray brought up summer camp.
He wants to tell Ray to stop, wants to make Ray sleep it off and save both of them a little embarrassment in the morning. But Ray's hands feel amazing against him and before he knows it he's arching up into Ray's touch and begging for Ray to go faster. Ray kisses him, deep and hot with lots of tongue and Robbie wants to cry when he pulls away.
He doesn't just stop the kiss he stops everything, pulling his hand away as he sits up.
"Wha?" Robbie gasps out, displeasure evident in his nonsensical murmur. Ray isn't paying attention though, he's shifting on the bed, moving his body down, and he's swaying a little, unsteady but he looks determined. Robbie doesn't think he'll do it, until Ray's pulling his shorts down and his cock out.
Robbie thinks he might pass out from the feel of Ray's tongue on him, tentative but not shy. It's obvious Ray wants to do this, Robbie can feel it in the way his tongue snakes over the head of his cock just before Ray takes him into his mouth. It's wet and warm and Robbie can feel Ray's tongue moving so slowly and the beginnings of light suction and...
"Umm Ray?" Robbie asks when all the movement stops. When Ray doesn't answer he leans himself up onto his elbows and looks down.
"Fucker!" he yells (and once again thanks god his mother is working tonight) and pushes Ray off of him. He pulls up his shorts and arranges Ray into a more comfortable sleeping position.
"You wake up Brenan and I'm gonna kick your ass," Robbie tells him before turning out the lights.
Ray is surprisingly not vomiting when Robbie shakes him awake in the morning. He isn't much of anything but non responsiveness is par for the course when it comes to Ray in the morning.
"Robbie?" he asks once he's awake enough to turn over, 'Robbie why are you in my room?"
"Try again man," Robbie tells him, getting up to brush his teeth. He's rinsing his toothbrush when he hears Ray scream.
"Fuck!," he hears as he walks back towards his room. He isn't sure if that was 'fuck' meaning 'I'm having my heterosexual freak out about having a guy's dick in my mouth' or just a 'fuck' of the general 'almost blowing my best friend variety' so he doesn't panic. If hanging out with Travis has taught him anything it's how to remain calm in bizarre situations.
"Hurray for Buddha," Robbie thinks to himself as he crosses the threshold into his room. Ray's staring at the door with a stricken look on his face and Robbie can feel his second hand pseudo Zen crumbling.
"I am so sorry man," Ray says before Robbie can think of some way to diffuse the situation, "That was probably the single worst thing that could ever happen to a guy. If you want to kick my ass or something for the cock tease then um, go ahead because man, that was the worst." He puts his face in his hands and Robbie releases the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Ray isn't pissed about the almost-sex; Ray isn't going to throw things or anything, thank god.
"So, you not like freaked out right?" Robbie asks, sitting on the bed next to him.
"Oh I'm plenty freaked out Robbie," Ray answers his voice a bit scratchy from all the crying he did last night, "this is me doing my Travis impression, on the inside I'm jumping up and down and screeching like a girl but I'm not going to show you that. Bad enough you've seen me cry and be shitfaced before this relationship has even gotten off the ground, you see me screech like a girl and I have to throw in the towel and move to Tibet. Then I'll really have my Travis impression down."
Robbie has to laugh at that and just as he's really getting into the feel of that particular weight being lifted off his chest he feels Ray's hands on his face, cupping his cheek.
"Besides, I didn't say or do anything I haven't wanted to for an obscenely long time," Ray tells him, eyes clear and deep and brown like they've always been and kisses him.
It's better than the night before (despite the slight morning tang in Ray's mouth) because Ray's really into it and Robbie isn't fighting against his better judgment. Ray's kisses are even hotter now that he's sober and Robbie can feel the slick slide of Ray's tongue all the way down to his toes. He can still feel how Ray's tongue felt against his neck, his shoulders, his cock and the all over muscle memory of his causes him to shudder.
Ray pulls away a little when he feels it and he smiles down at Robbie. And just the smile alone has more heat than every porn movie Robbie's ever seen and it's a no brainer to thrust up against Ray. Thrust against the hot, hard resistance of Ray's body over his. He clutches at Ray's back and pushes himself up and into Ray, trying to pull Ray's mouth down to his. Ray comes down, but he doesn't move back in to kiss him. Instead he moves his mouth over Robbie's throat and up towards his ear.
"If I remember correctly, I left something unfinished last night," he breaths out and it isn't as seductive as Ray's obviously trying for it to be but when some one's offering to suck your cock, it isn't a very good idea to criticize their seduction technique.
Ray's hand reaches between them and his fingers fumble a little at the button and zipper of Robbie's jeans. They both hold their breath when Ray starts to lower the zipper and don't let them out until it's down. They both look at each other and laugh when they realize what they're doing.
"You don't have to you know," Robbie tells him, fingers caressing down Ray's still exposed back.
"I want to," Ray tells him and leans in to kiss him. He starts jacking Robbie slowly, keeping up a gentle rhythm while he assaults Robbie's mouth with his. It's still wet and hot but there's an urgency that wasn't there a minute ago. An urgency he can taste in the air seconds later when Ray pulls his mouth away from Robbie's, brown eyes twinkling lasciviously down at him.
He feels Ray shift down between his legs, pulling his shorts off completely before lying on his stomach, face inches away from Robbie's steadily leaking cock. Ray's mouth on him isn't a surprise this time, but it's no less intense. He can feel Ray's tongue moving against him, slowly but establishing a rhythm of a sort. His fingers are wrapped around the base and they move up and down in time with Ray's tongue. It isn't long before Ray is sucking him in and out, bobbing his head slightly and it's one of the hottest things he's ever seen, his cock disappearing in and out of Ray's open mouth.
When Ray begins to move faster, mouth sucking on the up stroke and tongue swirling on the down stroke, Robbie sees Ray's thighs begin to move him against the sheets. He feels Ray moan around him, hips picking up speed as he rubs himself off against the sheets and Ray's mouth speeds up to keep the same pace. Then Ray's other hand disappears and Robbie knows he's jacking himself off with it. His fingers curl into fists against Ray's back as he squeezes at the base of Robbie's cock a little harder with his hand and swirls his tongue against the head more often.
Robbie takes a second to think about how Ray must look, fingers wrapped around his own cock and pumping furiously and his lips stretched around Robbie, lips spit shiny and red. Robbie can feel the way Ray's body freezes slightly before he shudders into orgasm and he knows he's about to follow him.
"Ray, I'm gonna," he warns but it's to late. He cums into Ray's mouth and Ray chokes a little, pulling off and spitting onto the floor next to Robbie's bed. Robbie takes a second to hope he had a shirt or something there before deciding he doesn't care. He much to sated and happy to let anything bother him. This has been a favorite jerk off fantasy of his for over a year now and it's finally happened. He closes his eyes, hoping Ray will lie down next to him and sleep for a little while with him, when he hears keys in the front door.
"Robbie honey," his mother's voice calls upstairs a few seconds later, tired and weary and Robbie practically jumps out of bed, looking around frantically for his shorts. He spots them on the other side of his bed and... of course Ray spit the cum onto them, why wouldn't he, it isn't like Robbie was going to need those boxers anytime soon.
"Up here mom, just a second," he calls back so she won't come looking for him and continues his search for sleepwear. A pair of boxers hit him in the face and Robbie looks up, stunned, at Ray's grinning face.
"Calm down," he whispers, "you go down there this antsy she's liable to call the psychiatric ward on you."
And it's unlikely but Ray has a point. Robbie takes a deep breath, centering himself "This is my Travis face," he thinks to himself as he pulls the boxers on. He has to loan a shirt to Ray (seeing as his own is in the bathroom and reeks of alcohol) but by the time they're downstairs Robbie isn't freaking out any more.
Robbie's mother isn't upset that Ray had slept over and just nods tiredly at whatever excuse Ray conjures up, Robbie has to remember to ask Ray what he told her. Robbie's making her breakfast when Ray brushes by him to get to the refrigerator.
"Promise me something," Robbie asks him in a hushed tone, his hand resting on Ray's hip, at Ray's nod he squeezes slightly, "Promise me sex with you will end with something as low key as sleep or like a snuggle at some point in our relationship."
"I'm not making any promises McGrath," Ray replies laughing, but I'll try."