Haircut

It's been ages since I've written a one shot for Final Fantasy VIII- so please bear with me. And yes, I am continuing 'A twisted love story' for anyone who is still waiting...I just had too much to do with my college work and that! Anyways, enjoy this one shot!

"Pleaseeeeeeee Irvy?" Selphie pleaded, her small hands tugging Irvine's arm "just one little cut?"

"No, Selphie! I'm not letting you do it!"

"Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee?" Selphie continued, now doing cute puppy dog eyes in an attempt to persuade Irvine. Irvine looked at her and sighed.

The two were sat in the cafeteria, finishing their breakfast off. Surprisingly, they were the first of the group to be up this morning; they may even have beaten the early-rising Quistis; a feat never before achieved by either of them.

"Even that won't work today, Sefie…I told you; I'm not getting my hair cut! And I'm certainly not letting you cut it!"

"Awwww!" Selphie said, pouting "why not?"

"Cuz…one…I like my hair as it is now, and two…you'll probably give me some crazy hairstyle!"

"No I won't!" Selphie cried "plus Squall was happy when I cut his hair!"

"You never did cut his hair! You tried to shave his head!!!" Irvine cried in dismay.

Selphie pouted more.

"Well, it would've suited him! Plus, he did volunteer for it!"

"No he didn't! You knocked him out with your nun chucks!"

"Humph…that was an accident…" Selphie said, folding her arms and pulling a face.

"But you then grabbing a shaver and deciding he needed a 'haircut' wasn't!" Irvine said "Thank Hyne that me and Rinoa saw what you were bout to do and stopped you! Imagine if Squall had woken up with no hair!"

Despite himself, Irvine smirked at this hilarious thought; a bald Squall was surely something nobody in all of Balamb garden would be able to take seriously.

Selphie was about to answer back when a familiar face joined them at the table.

"Good morning Selphie…Irvine…" Quistis said, taking a seat next to Irvine on the table.

"Quisty! We beat you to breakfast!" Selphie said, giggling.

"Indeed…you are both up rather early, I must say…"

"It was Selphie's fault! She kept me up late, banging on my door and saying she wanted to cut my hair!" Irvine said "by the time she'd shut up, it was almost time for breakfast anyways!" Irvine rolled his eyes and Selphie stuck her tongue out at him.

"I wasn't that bad!"

"You tried to climb through my window!"

"Well, I thought it was a good idea! Plus then I could've cut your hair right then and there…I mean, you weren't opening your door for me!"

"I don't wanna cut my hair!" Irvine cried, for what felt like the hundredth time since Selphie had had the idea.

Selphie, realizing she couldn't sway Irvine, turned to Quistis for support. Quistis was pouring herself coffee. Selphie opened her mouth to begin her argument, but Quistis was already replying.

"To be fair, Selphie…the last haircut you umm…attempted…didn't go so great…"

"What? Squall? Ahhh he saw the funny side, I'm sure!"

Quistis said nothing but looked skeptical.

"Hmmm…I don't know, Selphie…"

But Selphie had left the table before Quistis could finish her sentence; Selphie had seen Zell entering the cafeteria and had zoomed over to ask his opinion. They both arrived at the table, with Selphie attached to Zell's arm and talking quickly to him, and Zell looking like he wasn't even awake yet and clearly not taking in a word she was saying.

"So isn't it a great idea or what?!" Selphie asked Zell, beaming proudly. Irvine raised an eyebrow and Quistis lowered her head and smiled secretly to herself.

"Uhh…sure, sure Selph…anyone using that coffee?" Zell asked, gesturing towards the coffee Quistis had just poured herself.

"Help yourself" Quistis said, and Zell grabbed it and poured himself a huge mug of coffee.

"Seeee…Zell thinks my idea is good!" Selphie said, beaming proudly.

"Uh…yeah…sure I do…" Zell replied, looking confused and rubbing his eyes. He then gave a big yawn "where's Rin and Squall?"

"Squall's probably still trying to recover from the trauma of almost being bald, and I expect Rinoa's with him…" Irvine replied, shooting a glance at Selphie.

Selphie pulled a face.

"Nahh…I bet he's come to realize how great my idea was and he's shaving his head right now!"

"Dream on" Irvine said, pointing to Rinoa and Squall (who still had a full head of hair) who had just entered the cafeteria and were approaching their table. They both took a seat; Rinoa looking fairly cheerful and Squall scowling-if possible- even more than usual.

"Rinny! Squally!" Selphie cried "I have this great idea!"

"No!" cried Quistis and Irvine together.

"Huh? What idea?" Zell asked; he was finally starting to wake up a little.

"You said it was a good idea, Zelly!" Selphie said enthusiastically "in fact, I can do you too after I've done Irvy!"

"Huh?!" Zell asked, his eyes suddenly growing wider with fear "wha…what?!"

"I'm gonna cut Irvy's hair…then Zelly's hair too!" Selphie said, raising her fist in enthusiasm and beaming.

Around her, the other five faces at the table fell.

"Hair…haircut…?!" Squall asked, his eyes wide with fear at the memory.

"That's right, Squally! If you want, when I'm done…I can finish your hair off too!" Selphie grinned as though she'd just had the best idea in the world.

Squall's hands flew to his hair and he turned to Rinoa with petrified eyes. Even during the war and fighting the sorceress, he had never looked so terrified.

Rinoa placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and then turned to Selphie.

"Umm…Selph…are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, I'm sure you'd make a good hairdresser…but it looks like these guys don't want their hair cut…"

"Aww…that's a shame!" Selphie said, puffing her cheeks out in disappointment.

"Why don't you find someone who does? I'm sure many around the garden would like a haircut" Quistis said diplomatically.

"You think?" Selphie asked, her eyes wide with hope.

Irvine looked relieved, and decided to go along with Quistis.

"Yeah, Selph…ask around!"

"Ok!" Selphie cried, leaping up from her seat "well, I'm done eating…I'm off on project 'Selphie-the-hairdresser' see you all at lunch!" and without another word, she turned and sprinted out of the cafeteria in excitement.

"She has way too much energy and enthusiasm, that girl" Irvine said, shaking his head.

"And that's one reason we love her," Rinoa said, smiling "although I'm glad we managed to stop her cutting yours, Zell's and Squall's hair"

"Not cutting! Shaving!" Squall cried, finally removing his hands from his hair "she wanted to shave my hair! My lovely hair!"

Rinoa tried to look sympathetic whilst suppressing a laugh. Zell, however, appeared to have finally woken up completely.

"Hair? Was Selphie talking bout cutting hair?!" he asked, his eyes wide and fearful.

"Yes Zell," Quistis calmly answered him "your hair"

Zell choked on his bagel.


"Hair cut, hair cut, hair cut!" Selphie chanted as she skipped along the corridors of Balamb. She was even more hyper than usual. All her singing and skipping was fine until she decided it would be even better if she closed her eyes and did it, which-naturally- only lead to disaster. Or, namely, her bumping into another person and falling over.

"Ouch!" Selphie cried as she landed on the floor.

"Watch it, messenger girl! You almost hurt me then!" Selphie would have recognized that voice anywhere.

"Seifer!" she cried, bouncing back up as though she had never fallen "want your hair cut?"

"What?!" Seifer said, fixing Selphie with a suspicious glare.

"I'm going round asking people if they want hair-cuts! I'm doing them free as well-only today!" Seifer stared at Selphie's cheerful expression.

"And how many people's hair have you cut so far?" Seifer asked in a sarcastic voice. Selphie, however, thought he was being serious.

"Um…like…well, none actually…not really, anyways," Selphie's face fell a little "but wanna be my first?" she asked, perking up immediately.

"What do you mean…not really?" Seifer asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well…umm…I wanted to give Squally a hair-cut…and Irvy too! But neither of them wanted it!" Selphie exclaimed.

"Wait…you tried to give Squall a hair-cut?!" Seifer asked, and suddenly he started to laugh; it was a quiet, sneering laugh; but he was laughing nonetheless.

"Well…actually…I tried to shave his head…" Selphie admitted sheepishly.

At this, Seifer couldn't contain himself. He burst into fits of laughter.

"Oh Hyne…a bald Squall…you really do make me laugh, messenger girl! And what happened when you tried to shave his head?"

"Uh…Rin and Irvy had to stop me" Selphie admitted guiltily, shuffling her feet. Seifer was wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. She'd never seen him laugh so much.

"Didn't you cut Irvine's hair though?" Seifer asked "he could do with it!"

Selphie frowned a little, but continued.

"Well, I wanted to cut it for him…but he wouldn't let me!" Selphie said, looking downcast.

"Ahhh…well, that's cuz he was awake when you tried, right?" Seifer said, his eyes suddenly lit with a roguish idea.

"Uh…yeah?" Selphie replied, tilting her head to the side slightly in question "why?"

"Well, you should cut his hair at night, as he sleeps…it's healthy for the hair too!" Seifer lied, trying to contain a grin.

"Really?" Selphie asked, her eyes wide.

"Uh-huh," Seifer said "so wait for tonight, and then cut it!"

"You don't think he'll be mad, do you?" Selphie asked, biting her lip.

"Nahh…he can't be if you give him an awesome haircut…I mean, I personally love the fact you tried to shave Squall's head. I'm sure if you'd finished, he would've looked great" Seifer said, his tone dripping with sarcasm and laughter.

"Ok! Thanks Seifery!" Selphie said, turning and running off. Seifer shook his head.

"Seifery…what the…?" But then he pictured a bald Squall and he was reduced to laughter again.


That night, Selphie carefully rose at 2am and grabbed her scissors from her desk. She was determined to follow Seifer's advice; and she was sure Irvine would love it no matter what!

She carefully snuck out of her room and along the corridors, past Zell's room. Eventually she reached Irvine's room and tried the door. Irvine hadn't locked it-as usual. Selphie had been worried that he may lock it tonight to ward off Selphie like the night before, but throughout the day, Selphie had pretended to forget her hair-cutting project so that when she did it, it would be more of a surprise!

This was gonna be easy! She knew Irvine was a heavy sleeper…and wouldn't wake up unless perhaps there was some explosion or something…so she was safe.

Slowly, she opened the door and entered…


The next morning, Selphie was up bright and early for breakfast. Once she reached the cafeteria, Squall, Quistis and Rinoa were already eating. She sat down and cheerfully wished everyone good morning.

As Selphie poured herself some orange juice, she waited in excitement for Irvine to arrive so they could all see her amazing work first-hand, and-of course- all start asking her for their own hair-cuts! Until then, she chatted to Rinoa, Squall and Quistis about normal stuff; feigning the idea she'd forgotten about her hairdressing ideas.

Suddenly, Rinoa gave a gasp; Selphie looked up and saw she was looking towards the door of the cafeteria. Rinoa grabbed Squall's hand and gave a nod to the door. Squall looked up too and almost choked on his black coffee. Quistis and Selphie had their backs to the door, but they turned; Selphie knew already what they were looking at though.

Irvine approached their table and sat down, quite unaware of how he looked; vain as he could be at times, he hated looking in a mirror in the morning, as it believed he always looked too tired, and he liked his hair slightly messy anyways.

Well, his hair was messy no longer.

"Uh…Irvine…?" Rinoa spoke first. Irvine sat and looked at the four faces staring at him.

"Huh? What?" Irvine asked, looking surprised.

"Your…your hair…" Rinoa said, and she could say no more. She simply stared.

"What? What?!" Irvine questioned.

Rinoa sighed and reached into her pocket, pulling out a mirror.

"Look!" she said simply, and Irvine took it from her and looked.

He didn't speak for about a minute; in which nobody else on the table spoke nor moved, except Selphie, who was trying to contain a grin at her good work.

Eventually, Irvine tore his eyes away from the mirror and turned to Selphie.

"Selphie?! What have you done?!"

Selphie gave a giggle and reached out and patted Irvine's head.

"Isn't it cute?!" she squealed. Nobody said anything; Quistis seemed unaware that she had a fork with food on halfway to her mouth which hadn't moved since she had spotted Seifer.

"It's your haircut, Selphie! Yours!!!"

"Well, I didn't wanna go too crazy, so I thought giving you a familiar haircut would make you like it more!" Selphie exclaimed, unable to contain how fantastic she thought her idea was "so now we have matching haircuts!"

"It…it…" Irvine started. He seemed unable to find the words.

"It even flicks out at the ends…" Squall finished for him, a smirk on his face.

"SELPHIE!" Irvine roared "THIS IS A GIRL'S HAIRCUT!!!"

"But it's cute! I like it on you!" Selphie said cheerfully.

"HYNE!" Irvine cried, and he leapt out of his seat and turned to go but was intercepted by Zell, who had just arrived for breakfast. Zell took one look at Irvine and burst into fits of laughter.

"Oh Hyne, Irvine! You decided to get your hair cut by Selphie in the end, then? We may have trouble telling the difference between the two of you now, mind!" and he burst into more fits of laughter. Quistis and Rinoa also seemed to have gotten over the initial shock and were holding back laughter. Even Squall was smirking! Irvine softened a little and began to see the funny side; he didn't even look so angry as before. But suddenly, there was a crash and the cafeteria doors were flung open, and there stood Seifer.

An angry Seifer.

A bald Seifer.

"SELPHIE!!!" he roared "WHERE ARE YOU!?!?"

"Seifer!" Selphie said stepping forward; she was not intimidated at all "I'm glad you like it!" she said, beaming.

"WHAT!?" Seifer bellowed.

"Well, after giving me the idea of night-time hair-cuts, I wanted to thank you…and you did say you liked the idea of Squall being bald, so I thought you may like it if I shaved your head…I mean…I mean…" but Selphie lost her focus then, for she had seen the look on Seifer's face.

"Or…or maybe not…" she squeaked, and Seifer leapt forward and tried to grab her. She dodged and started to run.

"Ahhh guys! Help me!!!" she squealed as she sprinted out of the cafeteria doors, with Seifer chasing after her.

Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Irvine and Quistis turned to each other.

"She'll outrun him, I'm sure…" Rinoa said.

"Yeah, and plus I'm sure he'll see the funny side…" Zell said, who was laughing even harder since seeing Seifer bald.

"Eventually…" Squall said, glancing around, and the whole table burst into laughter.

"Ah…Seifer bald!" Squall exclaimed when they had all finally calmed down "I'm never gonna let him forget this!"

"I'm sure Selphie won't forget either! He's probably chased her around Balamb twice by now!" Quistis said, shaking her head in amusement.

"Well, I'm sure she'll be fine…she's gotten herself into worse trouble than this before!" Irvine said "Plus…I'm still a little mad bout the hair myself!"

In their laughter, the others had almost forgotten Irvine's haircut, and this set them all off laughing again. Suddenly, Selphie ran back into the cafeteria, and flung herself down on a chair.

"Ahhh! He can't half run!" she cried, breathing heavily.

"It's ok Selph, we knew you'd survive…plus, even if you hadn't…we have a replacement Selphie now!" Zell joked, nudging Irvine, who looked like a male version of Selphie with her haircut.

"Ahh!!!" Irvine cried; he had forgotten about his new hairstyle. Everyone started laughing again, even Irvine.

Just another day at Balamb Garden.

I did this in a couple of hours; I practically had the idea and then moments later I was already starting to write; and then I didn't really stop until I was done! Well, it's been a while since I've done anything on here…I've just had like, a years break from fan fic, so I need to get back into it! I hope you enjoyed…and please do leave me a review! I'd appreciate it! Also, feel free to check out my other stuff if you like this; you may enjoy it! ^_^ Thank-you again!

Selphie Ivy